Why do we suffer?🔗

Almost all of us have undergone suffering at some time of our lives.

Now suppose I ask you, "Why did you choose to suffer? Was your suffering necessary?"

You would surely find that an absurd question!

‘Does anyone choose to suffer?’ You would ask me. ‘Suffering just happens to us, that’s all. We can’t help it!’

But the truth is, suffering is a choice! For me to tell you that your suffering was unreal would be unfair and insensitive, because your suffering was real for you. You never gave yourself the option of not suffering! You didn’t even know you had the choice.

Please understand: suffering is not a state of life; it is a state of mind. It is an internal event, not an external event! Whether you suffer or not in a particular situation depends entirely on how you choose to handle that situation.

But now, look at the question consciously:

When do you have suffering?

I can say, looking for a cause for suffering is the cause for suffering!

As long as you are thinking that there is something outside you that is responsible for your suffering, you will continue to have suffering.

At the most, those can be reasons or excuses for your suffering, but they surely cannot be the cause for your suffering.

One important thing you need to understand is that while pain might be inevitable, the suffering that comes from the pain is not. For example, if you get hurt, there is definitely pain, but how much you choose to suffer from that pain is really your choice.

It is a question of attitude! Pain may be inevitable, but suffering is your choice. Suffering is not a state of life. It is a state of mind. It is not an event in your life. It is your response to an event.

Buddha uses the word tathata – seeing what is as it IS. It is seeing what is there as it is, without any judgment.

But most of the time, we see things only through our pain filter. When we see everything as it is, there is only joy, and when there is joy, no thoughts get recorded in you. There are only empty spaces. That is why, when you are joyful you feel light, because nothing gets recorded. When you see everything through pain, more thoughts get recorded in you and you feel heavy.

There is a common saying, ‘We don’t see things as they are. We see things as we are.’

When you are powerless, you make your environment more powerful than you. When you are powerful, you make your environment powerless in front of you. If you feel there is something wrong with what you are seeing, then you should look back in at yourself, because your environment is only a reflection of what is inside you. If you feel pure love inside, then you see only pure love outside. It always has to do with you, not with what you are seeing.

Return again and again to what IS

How can you stop trying to escape from what truly IS? How can you enjoy each moment all the time?

Try this small technique:

When you see something, for example a person, or a situation, or a book, or anything, normally old thoughts and familiar reactions immediately rise in you.

Bring in the awareness that these conditioned thoughts and memories cover your judgment, and visualize shattering those thoughts. Next, see the situation, or person, or object now with a fresh eye, as though you are seeing it for the first time! Suddenly you see how much you missed, because of your own ideas thoughts.

Even when you see your husband, wife, brother, or anyone, look at them as though you are seeing them for the first time. Suddenly, you realize that not only the old suffering will not come back, but also that you start seeing everyone alike, whether they are strangers or familiar to you. That is the right way.

No one is familiar or unchanging. Even your wife is not known to you! Everyone is constantly changing every moment along with Existence. Only your mind is trying to make them appear to be permanent.

Once you start seeing what is as it is, all your energy will integrate within you. There is no more worry, no more back to the master. He told him, 'Master, I wish to pay a visit to your first disciple!'

The master was absorbed deeply in some work. Without even looking up he said, 'Go ahead.'

The disciple started on his journey. He walked for many days, passing through sun, rain, snow, and what not. He became exhausted, on the verge of death. It took him one hundred days to reach the valley. When he finally reached it he looked at the valley and thought, 'This valley doesn't look all that great. I have seen many more beautiful valleys. Why did the master call this paradise?'

He looked around and walked further and finally found the first disciple's hut. The first disciple was very pleased to see him. He served him food and asked how the master and other disciples were doing.

All along, the disciple was thinking to himself, 'Master called this place paradise? I can't believe it.'

After a week-long stay he left and returned to his master. It took him another one hundred days to return home.

Then the whole work becomes too difficult. It is like trying to work Your ego cannot exist without your suffering. Suffering is the root of your ego. This is an important thing you need to understand.

We always think that the ego is disturbed by suffering.

No! Ego is enriched by suffering.

If your suffering is less, your ego feels it is too small! You feel you are too small, so you increase your suffering so that you can feel you are somebody.

Many times you may have seen, whenever someone says something to you, the first reaction inside you is a certain resistance, a 'no'.

When you say 'no', it is ego- fulfilling. You feel solid and firm inside yourself. When you say 'yes', you feel liquid and vulnerable. Your ego feels submissive, which is uncomfortable, so you say 'no'.

You feel boosted in ego when you say 'no' to rules. This is also why you feel good when you break rules at home, school, in the workplace, or while driving. You feel boosted in ego when you say 'no' to rules. You can see this with small children. The moment you say they are not meant to have certain things, they will ask only for those things!

For the same reason, if your suffering is big, you feel good. Your ego feels satisfied. You measure life with the amount of your suffering. Unknowingly, you torture others as well as yourself.

The more you suffer, the stronger your ego becomes. So you always exaggerate your suffering. You go around telling everyone, 'Oh, you don't know my life. You don't know my suffering.'

The problem is, after some time you forget that you exaggerated. You forget that it was you who exaggerated your suffering. Then you are also caught in the same net!

But be very clear, after some time you are caught in the same net that you yourself created!

Whenever you try to live for your ego, you make your life and others' lives miserable. Most of the time the miseries you face in your life are not created by others. They are unknowingly created by you. You may not even derive any benefits from them. But just to prove your ego, you create them.

In ordinary life, every average person thinks he is extraordinary. When you feel that you have undergone the maximum suffering, your ego feels good that you have been able to handle a tough life. Only when your enemy is big, you feel big. When your enemy is small, you feel small. So the bigger your ego, the more your suffering!

Only when you don't have ego, can you really enjoy yourself and enjoy life. If you have ego, you can't enjoy. Standing in front of the mirror, you may apply make-up so that others will enjoy you, but you can't enjoy yourself. Only a person who does not have ego, who does not identify with the body and mind, can enjoy himself.

If you think something is yours, you can't enjoy. For anything that you think of as yours, you have lost the freedom to enjoy that thing or relationship.

A small story:

An enlightened master, Suzuki, lived in Japan. When his master passed away, he started weeping profusely.

One person asked him, 'You are an enlightened person. Why are you crying on your master's passing away?' Suzuki replied, ‘My master was the most extraordinary man on planet earth.’ The person was puzzled and asked him, ‘What was so extraordinary about him?’

Suzuki replied, ‘I have never seen such an extraordinary person who thought he was the most ordinary man!’

Suzuki’s master was extraordinary because he thought he was the most ordinary, whereas in this world, every other person thinks he is extraordinary.

If you feel extraordinary, be very clear: you are average.

If you want to check whether you are average or not, do this experiment. If you feel extraordinary, be very clear: you are average. If you feel ordinary, you are extraordinary!

Another small story:

There was a king in India who was very egoistic. His ego had grown to such a great extent that he started declaring, ‘I can do everything that God does. I am as great as God.’ If someone objected to his view, immediately he would give the order, ‘Kill him’.

There was an enlightened master in that kingdom. When he came to the capital, he heard about this attitude of the king and wanted to show the king the truth. So he went to the court and started praising the king, ‘O King, you are equal to God. You ARE God’.

The king was very happy and said, ‘Yes, you seem to be an intelligent person. Tell us what more you have realized.’

The master said, ‘O king, I have to tell you an important

Almost all the miseries you face in your life are knowingly or unknowingly created by you, to fulfill your vested interests. One of the most deeply hidden reasons for suffering is that you are enjoying it. For example, falling ill can become a source of pleasure if it gets you the attention and care you have been craving.

Some people love suffering so much that it becomes second nature to them. It is almost like a comfortable feeling. You see, you sit in certain postures because it makes you feel very comfortable; that familiar cozy feeling. Same way, depression also gives you this kind of psychological cozy feeling, and without that you feel you are some way stiff or missing something. That is how depression gets rooted in your system. Suffering becomes almost like an addiction. People are very happy with it. Without that they feel something is missing.

This is what I call a mature pain body.

See, when your physical body is mature, it goes on giving birth to more and more bodies just like itself. Same way, if the pain body gets mature beyond a certain level, it goes on expanding, giving birth to itself. More and more and more pain bodies are created. When the pain body gets mature, it just goes on reproducing more and more pain bodies just like itself.

Catching the pain body, taking care that it does not become more and more mature, that it does not become like an addiction, is a very important thing. is a Buddha-seed.’ He says, feel grateful to suffering and pain because they create the situation for you to search for the truth. Suffering can propel you to become a Buddha.