Chapter Seven:🔗

Beloved Master, Can You tell us something about relationships? How do the people who we are living with influence our lives?

A relationship is a very beautiful thing. And because it exists between two people, it is dependant on both. Together, both people can grow. Whenever you meet a new person for the first time, a new phenomenon comes into being which was not present before. And through this phenomenon, both people are changed.

Before the meeting, you are one thing, but after the relationship has happened, you are completely a new person. Just see in your lives: when a woman comes into contact with a lover, she comes out a completely new person. When a man becomes a father, there is a new light to him. When a child is born, there are two births; the mother is also reborn. The woman may have been there before, but now the mother is born.

A relationship is something which is created by you and at the same time, relationship creates you. When two people meet, it is like two worlds have met. Each person is a world unto himself. Each person is in their own world.

Initially, it is as if two peripheries have met. As the relationship enters a deeper level, then the centers start meeting. It is the meeting of these centers that we call love. When the peripheries meet, we can call it an acquaintance, but when centers meet, it is love.

It happens many times that we mistake acquaintance with love. Then one day, this love which we have felt has disappeared. If this happens, be clear that you have not entered love. Love is a very rare happening. In order to meet a person at his center, you would have to allow the person to reach your center. You will have to become vulnerable, completely open to the person. You will be completely exposed. All that you have hidden will be open. This is why there is fear; this is why love is so rare.

Through acquaintance, we think that we have loved. When you are with someone on the outside, on the periphery, you feel that you have met them. The periphery is like a fence around you, but it is not you. You are inside the fence, and a person can reach you only through love, through entering the fence. I have seen many husbands and wives who only know each other at these fences; they are only acquaintances. And by being acquaintances, you have never known the other.

There are two types of relationships: fear orientated and love oriented. Through this fear based relationship, you can never enter into love; you can never enter into a deep relationship. You will continuously remain afraid of the other coming to know you. There is a limit that the other is not permitted to cross. There is a wall for which when the other comes near, everything must stop. However, a love oriented relationship is totally different. It is based on mystery. It is not bothered about the future or what may happen, or the consequence. It is a relationship where both completely enter into the moment and live in the now.

This is the relationship that I say is beautiful. Any other relationship on the periphery is dangerous. You simply become stuck with the other. You are not free to explore the depths of yourself. With love, there is no end to these depths; you go on moving deeper and deeper.

If you can be in the present moment, completely unbothered about anything, then only love is possible. Love is such an innocent emotion. It knows nothing but feeling. But these fellows who are stuck in an acquaintance relationships are simply intellectual fools; nothing more. A relationship with boundaries is a relationship straight out of the intellect.

Love is a rare flowering. I say it is rare because it can happen when there is no fear. When there is no fear, then there is nothing to hide, there are no boundaries. You reach the other's center and they reach yours. This is the beauty.

The moment fear enters a relationship, be very clear, it is not love. Then it is only an arrangement of two people who depend on each other, possess, dominate, manipulate, fight- but it is not love. Understand: I am saying it is an arrangement, not a meeting.

And what do you have to lose by letting your self be known by someone? Why is there fear? There is no harm in it. It is only one of the many misconceptions given to you by society. They tell you to hide; you must always fight and never trust anyone; everyone is against you. All of these things have been taught to you

First thing: no one is against you. Even if you are thinking that someone is against you, they too are not against you. Everyone is bothered about themselves. They are not concerned about you. This must first be understood. Then only is a relationship possible. There is nothing to be afraid about because no one is bothered!

So when the fear is dropped, two centers can meet. And when two centers meet a new thing is created- love. It is very much like water. When hydrogen and oxygen meet, water is created. But if you have only hydrogen or only oxygen, your thirst will not subside. Only when both meet, the thing will happen.

One more thing: when a person is in love, he becomes desire- less. He becomes content with whatsoever is around him. Desire arises out of discontentment. However, when there is love, when two centers have merged, then a new quality is born. With this, comes contentment; hence there are no desires.

Make love a happening. It should be directed towards no one or no thing. Love starts with someone and ends at your self. Do not allow it to be an occupation of the mind. Make it an inner search.

See, when you meet a person, you meet them at the periphery. By and by, as you move deeper into the relationship, the periphery of the person disappears, their form disappears. It is here that you move into the formlessness. And when you enter the formlessness of someone else, you are immediately thrown back to the formlessness or yourself. And if you go still deeper, then even this formless person begins to disappear. Now, a new door is opened. The formlessness of Existence is revealed to you. Through the other, the divine is found.

To move to the divine suddenly will be difficult. It is so vast, so expansive. We will not understand where to start. It is so beginning- less and so endless. We will not know how to move into it. Love is the door. The other is the door.

Do not make love a struggle, rather make it an invitation. If this can be done, suddenly, the other disappears and the divine is there.

Beloved Master, I hear Your words, and they are so beautiful. But I feel as if there is not only a communication happening through words, but something deeper. Can You talk to us about this silent communication that is happening?

See, this communication is always there. If you are listening to me, if you are really listening to me, then you will see, you are not only listening to the words. There is something more. Listening to me, the mind stops, the thinking is relaxed. When there are no thoughts, you become open. When you are not thinking, you become open. And then my work can start. Then, what has to happen will happen. So the words are used only as a device.

So actually, my message is not in the words, it is in the silence. But only when I am speaking, the mind becomes silent. If I am silent then the mind will start speaking. If you are silent just by yourself, then there is no need for me to speak. A time will come when you can simply sit next to me. There will be no need for me to speak because you will be silent. This is where the relationship between the two of us begins.

As of now, if I tell you to sit silently near me, will you be able to sit? You will go on talking, you will go on chattering. This will be the chattering from within you. In order to stop this inner chatter, I must talk. My talking will occupy the mind. My talking to you is just like a toy given to a child. The child will go on playing with it. He will become absorbed in it. He will lose himself in it. So take my words as toys. You become so absorbed in the words that you become silent.

Even if you have glimpses of the truth while hearing my words, it has not come from the words. It has come from your silence. If you have the trust that what I am saying is the truth, understand that this trust comes from the silence, not from the words. Whenever you are silent, truth can enter. When you are chattering and absorbing yourself in inner chatter, you miss the truth which is always there.

Whatever I may tell you to do; meditate, dance, whatever I may tell you to do has only one aim. This aim is to make you silent. Whenever you are silent, there is nothing to block the truth from entering. There are no words to block the truth.

The words give you an understanding. They give you inspiration to start your journey towards the truth. But words can never put you directly into the truth.

So allow yourself to get absorbed in the words. Allow yourself to enter the silence; the silence which is forever present.

Thank you.