Loneliness to Aloneness🔗

Aloneness is the very basic nature of man…of the Being, from and even before the birth! This is the reality. In the womb the Being is alone, blissful, and peaceful. Scientists say that even the quest for enlightenment is the imprint of one’s life in the mother’s womb. That was the happiest moment of a Being’s existence.

Be very clear on this…through out our life, even when we live, grow and die within a society, we are alone.

‘I am the thread among the beads,’ says Krishna in the Bhagavad Gita. The beads are the incidents in our life strung on the thread of aloneness. All cultures and religions speak of a time long ago when there was joy and peace. In Hinduism this was the Satya Yuga…in Christianity… the Garden of Eden. This was not real…just the impression of one’s life in the womb, where the past was spoken of as being golden and just an imagined memory stored away.

In Mesopotamia 6000 years ago it was written, ‘It is now the age of sin. Morality is bad. Children do not listen to parents. Wives do not respect husbands…’ The Vedas written 5000 years ago says, ‘This is the Kali Yuga. Everything is sinful…’

Understand that these statements are all just memories of a golden past that the Being yearns for in its search for aloneness. You mind can not be alive when you are lonely; it can only flourish in relationships.

The mind, ego and personality are all societal and are alive only in the various relationships that we build up within the society. Within this vortex of relationships we forget that our individuality is aloneness…that it is our very nature…whereas our personality is societal!

Have you noticed that our mind is starved when we are alone and it struggles? This happens when we think of ourselves as a personality and therefore end up feeling lonely.

‘Personality’ is only a title given by society. Individuality is what you are…this is your natural state.

What others think of you…what you have earned…what comforts you have…all these are only a part of your personality. It is a sad fact that most times we nurture our personality ignoring our individuality. Our personality is merely external whereas our individuality is internal. The cry of one’s individuality to be heard above the clamor of your personality is what is expressed as the pain of your loneliness.

Let me narrate a small incident here...

Jane was seated in the doctor's waiting room waiting to meet the doctor. She was getting treated for depression. The lady next to her started a conversation with her and came to know that she was the mother of 12 children. The lady exclaimed, 'Twelve children and you look so young and beautiful!' Jane got her prescription and felt instantly better.

Attention is the food for personality...good or bad...it does not matter! Whether positive or negative...attention is what we seek! We seek and suck attention...we demand or beg for attention.

When we are alone there is no one to praise or blame us...and therefore our ego and personality are shaken.

The moment we realize that we are not our personality we immediately feel alone and shaken... however when we realize we are more than a husband, more than a Doctor, more than an Indian or any other part that we may be playing...and these are just parts of our total Being we start feeling alone and yet very comfortable.

Our different roles are only different labels of the different parts of our total Being! Imagine a parcel being posted from the US to India. At various points there are stamps and marks placed on the parcel to identify it and speed it on its way. Now the parcel may think it is these stamps...but it is not! It forgets that it is the stuff inside. Similarly we are not merely labels...we are the Being inside the labels.

As mere labels, we are continuously engaged in parties, shopping, or watching T.V. We read and reread the same newspaper. Old people having grandchildren who are married would still read the matrimonial column! Why? The sad truthful reason is ...we are afraid of being alone with ourselves. Be very clear...entertainment is an avenue for running away from ourselves. However, have we ever pondered on how long we can run? We always believe that we will be joyful at some point or other, having achieved something or the other. By the time we are about forty we may get all we want...but we do not understand what for we wanted all this. We are still unhappy...we have reached the depression of success!

The more affluent we are, the more our chances of being afflicted with this depression of success.

The greatest illness in developed Western countries is the depression of success. Material success fails to make people happy and they end up experimenting in their search for happiness. Therefore they change possessions...change cars every year...change houses every second year and change spouses every third year... still they remain unhappy!

Addiction, suicide and meditation are the only three ways out of this depression.

Addiction is just not drugs or cigarettes or alcohol; it can be food or any other craving. When the empty feeling takes over men generally pour and fill...women generally dump and fill; one with liquor and other with food. It is a psychological craving that never gets satisfied. Be clear... increasing consumption can never satisfy the addict.

In developed countries, people who have everything that they can ask for and have seen everything else generally move to suicide. Meditation as a way out is rare!

Meditation is an intelligent way of living. It is nothing but sravan, manan and nidhityasan or in other words listening to, contemplating upon and expressing great truths. Meditation helps us realize that we are far more than a mere personality… that we are individuals. It helps answer the question of who we are rather than let society decide and answer it.

The query ‘Who Am I’ helps to let go our past ego. In this process the mind will definitely resist it. Understand clearly that it is adding the ‘i’ to our running; it ruins us.

Only when we understand our own Self and how we are just aloneness…can we really love ourselves and others. Otherwise whatever we express as our love it is only psychological slavery…a contract…a business deal.

Be very clear…between personalities only contracts can happen…only between individualities can contacts happen…only between Beings can relationships bloom!

The essence of the ecstasy that oozes out of that realization of our individuality is love.

To reach that core of individuality, of moksha, kaivalya, nirvana or liberation…we need to contemplate; we need to sit alone and think ‘Who Am I?’ Not just mentally; not as an intellectual exercise; but as a question that you ask within your Being… ‘What Am I? What am I, if all my labels are taken off me?’

Express that feeling…do not give up even if it is painful to realize that you are alone… experience that pain again and again. Like a seed that has to suffer the pain for the tree to grow, you will give birth to yourself once again …you will be reborn to that natural state as you were at the time of your birth!

Understand this very clearly…aloneness is our very nature. Keeping asking, ‘Who Am I?’ Through experiencing the pain of the answers we grow and realize.

This inner journey alone will help us grow from ego to Self…from personality to individuality… from depression to expression…from loneliness to aloneness….from pain to bliss!

Welcome and enter loneliness without resisting, achieving Nithya Ananda or Eternal Bliss.

I pray and bless you all. May you all have this eternal bliss…Nithya Ananda.