60. *Fear of small things*

First of all understand that all small fears are mere projections of the ultimate fear of death. Second, don't resist the fear in you. Just keep repeating to yourself that you are scared and go through it, that's all! You will soon find that the fear is no longer there because you saw it through. Start doing this every time you feel fear.

When you consciously work on this, you will understand that what you call fear is nothing but your response or reaction to an incident or thought. Depending on how you respond, you can claim that you did not have fear or had fear. And, with more and more awareness, you can respond towards fear without fear!

Remember one thing: No one can claim to be fearless. One can learn to handle fear without fear, that's all. If anyone professes to be fearless, be very clear that they have not analyzed deeply the subject of fear and human response to it. Don't start thinking that they are superhumans and you are a lesser human being.

(A young girl speaks) Swamiji*, I remember how you made me overcome my fear of spiders! While in our discussions one day, I jumped up when I saw a spider and you laughed at me for it. You told me to meditate on the spider every time I saw one. Every time I saw one, I looked at it with awareness and concentration. Slowly I started wondering why I was scared of it after all*!

Yes. It is only a question of bringing awareness into our fears. You will then wonder what it was that caused the fear in you!

You can even sit by yourself and imagine that your fears are happening to you. In your imagination, confront them with deep awareness and calmness. If you suffer in the process of visualization, it is alright. Don't suppress it or punish it. If your body shakes with fear, let it. Just co-operate with it. Anything when lived out completely will have no effect over you. All your fears are simply fear of your fears, that's all!

A small story:

A disciple was caught in a river one day. He was terrified of losing his life and he shouted out to his master to save him from drowning. The master said, 'Stand up!' The disciple screamed out, 'How can I? I am drowning.' The master said, 'Have I not taught you to help yourself? Now stand up!'

The disciple said, 'Master, you are preaching to me at this moment of my impending death. Why don't you just save me!'

The master persisted, 'I said, stand up.'

The disciple was enraged at the master's persistence.

He simply stood up. The water came up only to his knee!

All your fears are nothing but the fear of your fears. If you shake off your fears and allow your intelligence to surface, you will find that your fears are just shadows of objects that don't exist.

Live in the moment and leave!

If you deeply analyze the fear of death, you will come to know that people are afraid to die because unconsciously, they feel that they should have been somewhere higher up than where they are now. They feel they have not reached their actual place in life and so they are not ready to leave.

Some people feel that others have cast eyes on them and so they have not been able to progress! The truth is that you have not cast your own eyes properly on yourself. That is why, even in your last days, you prolong your death.

If you properly analyze and understand your desires, fear and other emotions, you will not blame anyone for anything.

People who live their lives without any of these convoluted fears, will be able to live their death also. As I told you earlier, there are so many stories of living masters who told their disciples exactly what time of what day they would die and they died that way.

Many of the disciples have learned from their masters' death what they failed to learn from their teachings when they were alive. When we say that they lived their death, we mean they were able to announce that they were going to die and they died consciously. In their case, their death is literally 'leaving their body', that's all.

We all leave our bodies unconsciously, with a lot of suffering – the pull and push of unfulfilled desires torture us on one side and the body tortures on the other, saying that it has had enough. The mismatch between the mind and the body tortures us while we are alive and at the time of death also. When we are alive, if we live inside our boundary, inside our body, we will also leave our body peacefully. The problem is, when we live, we are always outside our body, never inside.

Let me explain this to you. Just look deeply into your way of life. Early in the morning, when you brush your teeth, what are you doing? You are already thinking of going to work. When you are at work, you are thinking of catching the bus to go home. When you are at home, you are thinking of work next day! When you are on vacation, you think of your office and when you are at office, you think of going on vacation.

Wherever your body is, you can be sure that your mind is not! You have never lived any moment of your life with fullness. You have always lived either in the past or in the future. This is what is called 'not living inside your boundary'. This is why at the time of death, you feel so pre-occupied and unfulfilled and unwilling to go. This is why you fear death.

You may ask why you need to know about dying consciously. Only when you know about death, can you live with the right understanding of life. Otherwise, you will not live life the right way.