59. Q: *Swamiji*, is it that fear is normally associated more with women?

Men are mainly caught in the lust and women are mainly caught in fear. The fact is, they both know this and exploit each other appropriately!

The man knows where exactly to touch the woman's weak chord. He will play with her insecurity and fear and exploit her. Similarly, the woman knows where the key lies with the man! She will play the game appropriately and exploit him. This is what goes on all the time in marriages.

Actually, at the time of Hindu marriages, a vow is taken wherein the man and woman vow to each other that they will both work towards exhausting each others' karma – unfulfilled actions and desires - in a smooth way, without accumulating any more karma in this life.

But these days, people are not even aware that they have taken such a vow because they are not the ones who are getting married. The priests are the ones who utter all the chants and get married!

It is such a beautiful vow that they take. We have accumulated enough and more karma in our lives. The only concern for us should be to exhaust it all at least in this birth, and attain liberation.

If you watch the drama of marriage from outside, you will understand how the couple create karma for each other.

Only when you watch from outside you will understand what a foolish game is being played. I always tell people that for actors and actresses it would be so easy to watch life as a game because they are all the time assuming roles and enacting them. They are the closest to seeing life as a great drama. The rest of us are so caught up with our roles that it becomes a solid reality for us.