38. Live without worries

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Live without worries

Can anyone tell me what worry is?

(a lady answers...) Swamiji, we get worried when we think of our business problems or when we think of our children or of our health...

What you are saying are the reasons for worry. I am not asking you the reasons for worry. I am asking you 'what IS worry'? If I ask you the reasons for worry, this session will never end! Each of you will be ready with a long list –

Swamiji, my business is down...

I have no peace of mind at home! I have so many problems that you can't even imagine…! I don't have children, that is my worry! My children are my worry!

We all have so many worries all the time. And if we can't find any worries, we will worry about not having any worries! When we have no worries, we start feeling insecure! Some retired people come and tell me, 'Swamiji, we don't know what to do.

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Our children are married and settled in their own houses. They don't ask us for anything; there is nothing to think about. There's no point in living anymore Swamiji. We want to die peacefully.'

They don't know what to do because they don't have any worries! They try their best to think of something to keep their minds occupied, but there is nothing coming up! And this is new to them because they have all along been occupied with some worry or the other, with some thought or the other.

Before defining worry, I just want you to recognize that whatever be our culture, financial status, age or anything else, we all have one thing in common, and that is worry!

If I ask you why you worry, you will list so many reasons. You always think that worry is caused by external matters and you always blame the people around you for it.

If the cause for worry were external, there should be at least one person who has beaten all these causes and is free from worries? But is that the case? Anyone you meet has got some worry or the other, is it not? Whether they are rich or poor, married or unmarried, with children or without children, working or having their own business – everyone seems to have worries.

This is because, although we think that the cause for worry is external, actually, the cause for worry lies deep within ourselves. That is why everyone has some worry or the other all the time.

So we come back to the question: what is worry?

If you look deep inside, you will find that worry is nothing but your response to an event. Whether a situation makes you worry or not, depends entirely on how you choose to react to the situation.

For example, suppose your friend gets a new job and comes and tells you about the perks and benefits of it, how will you react? Unconsciously, you will be chattering inside yourself: Oh, he's got a new job. He is enjoying so many benefits. What about me? What will my wife say if she hears these perks and benefits? Better not allow this guy to meet my wife, or else I will get into trouble. Should I start looking for another job? What if I don't get it? Nothing ever works out for me …

This is worry! An unwanted but continuous stream of words happening inside us all the time.