Rejuvenation

Revathi Ganesh

Life for me had reached a point of crisis, my mind was racing with so many questions there was an inner conflict going on, almost all the time, I was contemplating and trying so many things to satisfy myself. The satisfaction, the joy was all temporary it faded away too soon. I was totally confused and I did not even understand about what, all I knew was there seemed to be a vacuum, I felt like an incomplete jigsaw puzzle.

Actually I had come full circle, everything that one would wish for was there and I should have been very pleased and happy with life, but NO that wasn't the case with me. It was not discontentment, unhappiness, not any kind of emotional insecurity, nor was I craving for any materialistic things???? But still there was this emptiness, a feeling of incompleteness, vacuum deep within. What is life? What is success? Was life reaching a certain status in society, making lots of money, studying well etc? Then what?? Many such questions kept my head pounding, nobody, no books, no amount of meditation could give me a satisfying answer and nothing could fill that vacuum. Rituals was something I never believed in , but praying was a part and parcel of my life, almost all my conversations are only with GOD. I started reading a lot of spiritual books and attending spiritual discourses. Through all this questioning and restlessness I was attuned to Reiki and went on to the third degree, thus practising a lot of meditation and healing. To a certain extent I could feel myself groping through and feeling satisfied but still that vacuum remained as wide as ever.

Then I heard about THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM, that he was very young but very mature, contemporary, an ocean of knowledge, very modern in his outlook and his discourses were excellent and he could reach out to common man.

Since, physical and mental fatigue had taken over due to all the questioning and confusion I welcomed a break through THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM's "Ananda Spurana' two day program at a picturesque place, though it did not sound different from so many other programs being offered. But that was not to happen. Instead, on the same day that I was supposed to attend his program I landed up in Shridi, it was so sudden and miraculous and then started the wonderful journey. Suddenly, I felt some kind of direction, on my return, some voice was all the time prompting me to at least meet this THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM whose program I had missed, so I decided to listen and went to meet him.

We were ushered into a room (around six of us) and there I was face to face with Swami, he was full of humour and I found myself feeling at home, it was more like I had met a good friend after many years and I could say anything I pleased without any inhibitions, and he would simply understand. I was talking with ease and he was suggesting we attend his program which was the next day and even before I knew it I was agreeing to do so, though I had already taken my break by going to Shirdi.

Before I could even realise what was happening I was at his program , though I had no inkling of what it was about. I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO REGRETS. THE PROGRAM WAS DUMBFOUNDING. By the end of it I was in great ecstasy and full of gratitude for being introduced to Swamiji. The 'Energy darshan' gave such a wonderful glimpse of bliss, I had never ever experienced such profound joy in my life, no never, not even when I got a good husband, a lovely child and so many more things in life. The joy is indescribable, beyond words and comparison. One has to feel and experience it to rejoice in it. It was so enveloping that I was overflowing with gratitude, and I fell at THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM's feet in complete reverence, remaining so forever... And from that day he has brought me a long way...

As per his final instructions to carry and spread the emotion, I carried it all home, and am still very earnestly trying to spread it. That VACUUM WHICH NEVER SEEMED TO FILL HAD DISAPPEARED INTO THIN AIR, I was ebbing with love and compassion, suddenly the sky seemed brighter, the songs of the birds more lovely, all relationships were sugary sweet, there was great beauty and joy in the simplest of things, I was simply reaching the skies without even stretching my arms, I FELT I HAD NOW COME FULL CIRCLE.

An awareness had slowly crept in, I was and am being transformed to WHAT only he knows, but definitely for the very best.

It was over a month and all the wonderful feelings still remained, but I was expecting most of it to wane off sooner or later because that his how it has been with everything else. Suddenly, one day I went into a depression for apparently no reason what so ever, I was convinced that it was all over again the vacuum would come back, this was the end of all the glory, the ecstasy, but only to discover that a transformation was taking place in me deep within, an awareness that I did not even acknowledge before was identifying the cause, teaching me life was not worth getting depressed about anything, teaching me to live in the now and just be in 'NITYAANADAM' (joyous in every moment). I slipped out of the depression in a wink and have not seen the face of it ever since.

This 'ANANDAM' had come to stay for ever and with it has come faith in abundance in Swami THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM.

When THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM came into my life is when I was born again, I found my self, call it 'REJUVENATION', 'REBIRTH'. My gratitude to him for giving me a meaning to life, now I am actually living each and every minute in my life, each and every cell in my body has been rejuvenated. There is a total personality shift. I am living completely in the attitude of gratitude. Deep within is a quite strength, great courage and PROFOUND FAITH which seems to be growing in leaps and bounds.

In fact, one does not need to ask him any questions, you just ponder, seek and you will find the answers handed over to you neatly in a nutshell.

It is like my life is being shuffled like a pack of cards, but this time the cards are so beautifully falling into the right slot, the end always turns out to be for my best.

Another intriguing thing with Swamiji is, you think 'He is doing so much for us, let me do at least this small service for him.' But sooner or later you realise that actually you have benefited from whatever service you did him.

YOU CAN NEVER GIVE ANYTHING TO SWAMIJI , YOU CAN ONLY RECEIVE FROM HIM.

It is one year since I met him, he has filled me to the brim, I am still overflowing with the same love, compassion, ecstasy. It has been a series of lessons and realisations of the past and present. I understand the meaning and answers to so many questions. I now understand the meaning and feeling of joy, bliss, ecstasy... that lasts and will last forever. The great feeling of unconditional love and how satisfying it can be, the meaning of life, the pathway to liberation... and though I know I have a long way to go, I KNOW I AM NOT ALONE, I am so happy to have found my friend, guide, son... GURU and remain in reverence and gratitude to him forever.