First Encounter with the Divine🔗

Disciples' and devotees' earliest experiences with Swamiji

Ma Ananda Bandhu [Prabha]

It was in September 2002 that I first met Swamiji. I was invited along with my friends to attend a programme on meditation and healing to be conducted by a young Swamiji. It was to be held at my dear friend's place. Being very skeptical about saffron-clad men, my initial reaction was not to go.

But Existence had a different game plan for me. My friend's insistence and a strange curiosity to meet this young healer altered my decision. (In hindsight I firmly believe that it was God's will.) At first I thought, what if the program turned out to be a bore? Will the Swamiji be intimidating and shooting out some sermons? Will he be pompous and fanatical? These fears had always kept me away from saffron-clad gurus. But deep inside, I felt a strong urge to go ahead. I had an intuition that there was something exciting in the offing for me. How right my intuition was! The program turned out to be an eye-opener, and the young Swamiji a revelation. We were all seated in the hall awaiting his arrival. There were quite a number of healers amongst the group. Though I was very much interested in holistic healing, I never went beyond taking the first degree in Reiki. I saw a lot of reverence on many faces and felt maybe I was out of place, but one look at my close friend, reassured me that I was not the only one. I started relaxing. Our group also decided to leave during lunch break if the program was not to our liking. But it was not to be that way! God had ordained a different experience for me.

In walked our Swamiji, radiating supreme confidence and youthful exuberance. He was so fleetfooted that we hardly heard him. There was no fuss or pomp. Immediately, I felt more relaxed. He was a tall lithe young man with very expressive eyes and a sunny smile. He was looking ridiculously young. Young enough to be my son. All my inherent images of a ‘Swamiji’ changed dramatically. Here was a Swamiji so young, cool and without any ‘airs’. There was an instant vibe, at least from my side. I was eagerly waiting in anticipation for him to speak; I sensed that it would be interesting. I was mistaken - Swamiji’s lecture was not only very interesting but very revolutionary. His views on healing were thought-provoking. His profound knowledge, wit and humour made me sit up. He talked on various subjects with great authority and understanding. The ‘small stories’ (mostly from Zen) which laced his speech were so meaningful and apt. On the whole he came across as a very honest, practical person with loads of knowledge and understanding. His humour kept me in splits. His sincerity touched me. I concluded that this Swamiji belonged to Jet age and not the bullock cart age.

After the lecture was over, some of us went to him and grilled him further. He answered each one of our queries (many of them personal) without any hesitation. There was no trace of anger or irritation. There was only a broad smile on his face. I went home a very happy and satisfied person. I gave myself a pat on the back for taking the right decision - to attend the meeting.

I am part of a small group of ladies who meet every month at my place. We meet to exchange views on various religious customs, spirituality, etc. When we invited Swamiji to attend our next meeting, he readily agreed. He enthralled the entire group with his views on women's role in society and the key role they have to play for world harmony. His concern for us really moved me. Here was someone who was openly declaring that women should boldly shrug off the years of conditioning thrust upon them by partriarchal society. His statement, that flowering or emergence of Shakti was the only remedy for the chaos in the world, was greeted with resounding applause. It was not put on to please the gathering, but came from his heart. His understanding of women's problems echoed my thoughts. He didn't stop with just condemning patriarchal society, but gave clear solutions for us to bloom, and be of immense value to the family and society. He did not advocate militant feminism, but wanted the creativity in us to bloom.

My association with Swamiji and his movement grew by leaps and bounds in the next few months. I next attended his Ananda Spurana program. The two days went off in a jiffy. Swamiji's explanation of the various chakras was so simple and interesting. His meditation techniques from various religions were enjoyable. His eclectic approach further increased my respect for him. I have attended this camp so many times, but every time

I see a new dimension emerging out of my experiences. It has clearly taught me how to make my life more meaningful and joyous. I had so many of my longstanding doubts cleared. My health, which had taken a beating in the last few years, improved tremendously. There was this newfound joy and energy.

Some of us have the privilege of spending a few hours with Swamiji almost on a regular basis. He discusses various subjects with us. He is always very forthright and honest. There is no distance between us. He is a close friend with whom you can take any liberty. I am not in awe of him. Many times I have a question for him, but even before I ask, I get the answers from him. When I am with him there is no time for mundane thoughts. I am just engulfed with joy and bliss. There is no past or future. I just cherish every moment with him.

In the course of time, Swamiji made me a healer. It was a great honour, I am blessed. I go regularly to the centre for healing. Patients with even incurable diseases are getting relief. The crowd is ever increasing. The prospect of his vision reaching millions all over the world, and that I have been blessed to be a part of this great movement, is exhilarating.

Swamiji's handling of the innumerable patients is to be seen to be believed. The moment he is with the patient, his body language is transformed. He is an epitome of love and compassion. He is so soothing and reassuring. I carry this picture always in my heart. It touches me most.

Not a day passes without my awareness of Swamiji's grace and blessing that permeates our lives. Quite recently, while Swamiji was abroad, I went through some upheavals at home and there was sadness, anxiety and a lot of pain. I felt utterly helpless for a few moments but I surrendered my anxiety at Swamiji's feet and mentally concentrated on reaching out for his help, even though he was across the seas. On the day when there was an emergency situation, I was stepping out of the house, when suddenly I felt Swamiji's presence - and looking up, I saw him standing there with the usual reassuring gesture of his hand held in blessing! I was astounded and froze for a moment, since I knew that Swamiji was abroad, and wondered how he could have come back so fast!

I have heard about the different energy fields or planes of existence and that consciousness can function in many forms outside of the physical body. Many yogis have been known to travel in space and time and bilocate themselves in different places within a short span of time - all through their levels of consciousness and activating fields. Swamiji has also talked to us about etheric body and astral body, and how his presence can be invoked at times of need by all his disciples. Science is yet to formulate its understanding of this phenomenon, but that does not undermine the truth of what we see and what we feel.

It was Swamiji's energy field that he transmitted to me in those moments of need, and his reassuring presence was by my side every moment of those agonizing hours at the hospital.

I was so stunned by the incident that later on, when Swamiji returned from his trip, I recounted this miraculous appearance to him. Swamiji went on to explain the simple facts of energy fields and etheric body and mentioned also that at that particular point of time when I had seen him, he was miles away in a chosen spot on San Diego beach in a Samadhi state of deep meditation. But he is with us in times of need, wherever he may be.

Not only was the miracle explained, but I had received a blessing and reaffirmation of my total faith in his grace.

His views on some of our customs and rituals were an eye-opener to me. Though I was never a religious or ritualistic person, there was some confusion and fear in my mind. His explanation gave me clarity on these subjects. I have been interested in philosophy and mysticism right from a young age. There has always been a thirst to know more about life and after. This search had become stronger in the last few years. The search is over. I have found my Guru. I am entrusting upon his young shoulders, the responsibility of guiding me to my destination - ‘The Ultimate Bliss’.

Ma Ananda Sachita [Lakshmi Murthy]

Of late, I had been hoping and praying for a contemporary guru, who would be young, energetic and enthusiastic, with a modern outlook and one who is easily approachable, where you are not treated as one among the crowd but ONE in the crowd, who can provide me with health insurance, life insurance, spiritual insurance and death insurance (not in the literal sense). I prayed for a young Guru so that we can see him in close proximity, talk to him, grow with him, grow fond of him - and then it would be easier to worship him after intimate interactions with him - because 'seeing is believing', rather than reading books or hearing through someone else. As God willed it this way, He bestowed upon us his choicest blessings, by directing us to the lotus feet of Sri Nithyananda Swami - a guru custom-made for us! This is how His game started - as far as we are concerned!

A fairly new acquaintance, a couple whom we had met just the previous week gave us a call and said they would drop by for a short visit. At that time, we were in the process of organizing ourselves and the home to receive my daughter with her 1-year-old baby from the USA. In the course of our conversation, I mentioned to the couple that these days my joints really remind me that I am an old grandma! As though somebody had sent him for this specific purpose, the gentleman took out a colourful brochure of Sri Nithyananda Swami, with a compassionate smile and his hand held in blessing, and said, “Go see him today, all your pains will vanish!” Naturally, I was eager. I looked at my husband - and there was this silent yes writ large on his face. The next thing we knew, we were driving towards the Dhyanapeetam City Center like two robots. It all happened before we could figure out what was really happening. Just as we entered, we were unexpectedly (and very warmly) greeted by our old friend Mr Palaniappan - and the next minute we were there, standing before Swamiji, being introduced by Mr Palaniappan!

There is this young Swamiji, sitting there with astounding radiance, a broad smile on his face, radiating motherly love and enquiring about our welfare. Then Swamiji gave his first healing to me. When he placed his hand on my head, I could feel a gush of energy passing through me in a very soothing way. Swamiji said, “Take the healing for 10 to 15 days ma, it’ll vanish completely.” The whole thing happened like a dream. We drove back home cheerfully. I kept wondering whether I would really feel better. For the next three days we went back for healing. With each interaction it became clear that Swamiji is the very embodiment of love and the epitome of compassion. With this divine grace that I received, the pain practically vanished and I could handle the additional activities with my granddaughter around, and enjoy her precious company. I know I owed it all to Swamiji.

Then another incident happened. A few days before my daughter was to return to the USA, her baby fell terribly sick with gastroenteritis. Within 5 hours, she went into dehydration, in spite of all the medicines being administered. My husband, being a doctor, decided to start her on the drip. After 5 days, despite a paediatrician’s care, the motions were still continuing and the baby’s tender arm was swollen from the drip needle. The little one refused to enter the room where she could see the I.V. bottle waiting. The agony of the child, her feeble voice, sunken eyes and helpless gaze tormented all of us. We were all in this morose mood at home. It was at this crucial time that I said to my daughter, “Let’s take the little one to Swamiji”. She asked, “Now which Swamiji?”(She knew I had seen many Swamijis in my lifetime!) I explained to her about Swamiji and my miraculous cure from backache and joint pains. My daughter and I are very fond of each other and we communicate very freely and frankly. She said, “Mom, that was a different affair, besides you have been exercising, so you have found some relief. What can any Swamiji do about the severe gastroenteritis of a little baby, when trusted medicines are hardly working? Besides, you shouldn’t be trusting these people in saffron robes - especially when you say he is very young. No mom, please! You are really gullible, but I’m definitely not going to fall for this!"

I could sense her skepticism, but my conviction was too strong.

I said, "I'm going to Bidadi to see Swamiij and I'm taking the baby with me."

She exploded.

"How will you take her alone? How can you drive with the sick little one by your side? And who will change her and feed her? No mom, don't subject her to the additional strain of a 70 km journey and a long wait in the queue there. Be rational mom, he is just a young Swamiji with hardly any experience. You told me yourself that he has had realization very recently. Let him get a little older, then we shall see.

I said, "I am going with the baby to Bidadi ashram, whether anybody goes with me or not!"

In my heart, I knew that she would yield. Having no choice, she very reluctantly agreed to accompany me, just out of love and respect for me. My daughter, usually a chatterbox, never uttered a single word throughout that drive. According to her, she was an obedient daughter putting up with her mom's frenzies.

When we arrived at the ashram, Swamiji saw the baby almost immediately. He touched the baby on the belly once, gave my daughter some vibhuti (sacred ash) and her to apply the vibhuti mixed with water on the baby’s belly. To my surprise, my daughter looked at Swamiji in awe, then smiled and bent down to touch his feet and take his blessings!

While returning, she told me, “Maybe there is something in him - but he is too young! As young as my brother. What kind of experience can he have? I am at least a mother, I have gone through the different phases of life… Anyway, just for you, I shall apply the vibhuti ONCE - mind you, JUST ONCE, because vibhuti will make baby’s tender skin too dry.”

At 3:30 pm, she applied the vibhuti for the first time - and till 8:30 p.m., there was no problem! At 10:00 p.m., the baby had her first normal bowel movement in days. My daughter rushed to me, saying, “Mom, please take me back to Swamiji, I have to fall at his feet and express my gratitude!”

The next day, there we were, driving back to Bidadi. We hardly noticed the distance or the time as my newly converted daughter kept shooting questions at me about Swamiji, and I of course enjoyed answering them all triumphantly. At the ashram, just as we were entering Ananda Sabha (the meditation hall), Swamiji spotted us.

“How is the baby, ma?”, he smiled.

We both answered together, “Thanks to you Swamiji, she is fine!”

Swamiji, in his typical loving way replied, “Divine grace has descended, ma. Don’t worry, she will be fine.”

This was a turning point in my daughter’s life. A complete non-believer, she has become a staunch believer now. Whenever she has any problem, she gets in touch with Swamiji and he takes care of her.

And this is not just once, but all the time! Once it so happened that she was in a predicament, a situation which required immediate decision-making. In an agitated state of mind, she had sent an email to Swamiji, but as he was traveling, he could not respond immediately. She called me on the phone for guidance. We both decided to trust in prayer.

Surely enough, kind as he is, Swamiji appeared to me in my meditation, and at the same time appeared to my daughter in her dream, and solved our problem! Overjoyed at her dream, my daughter called me as soon as she awoke, and said, "Mom, Swamiji gave the answer in my dream!"

On my part, I confirmed that at the same time I had also had a beautiful darshan (vision) of Swamiji with a loving smile and his hand held in blessing.

Now we know, When we trust him, he takes the responsibility of taking care of us. He is the doer and he is the giver.

I started developing unflinching faith in Swamiji after doing the A.S.P, which happened within a fortnight after I first met him. Besides removing the negativity at the subconscious levels, he puts us on the right track with his special meditation techniques.

When I asked him, hesitatingly, if I could continue to follow some techniques that I was taught by my previous guru, Swamiji smilingly assured me, "You can surely continue your earlier spiritual practices ma. The only important thing is to remain blissful!"

He always says that we should be grateful to every guru who has come into our lives, and reap the best benefits from each. "Go to every garden, pick the best flowers, and make a beautiful garland for yourself!", he says. I think it is this liberal view of Swamiji that stirred in me such implicit faith, immense regard and unconditional love and devotion towards him.

I hope lots and lots of people get the privilege of having a holy dip in this “Ocean of Nithyananda Nectar”, and enjoy his love and blessings. I am now beginning to realize that till now I haven’t acknowledged and appreciated God for his generous showering of love, but only kept reminding him of the desires that He has kept unfulfilled. Thanks to Swamiji, I am cheerful and grateful - for I know that he will stand by me and guide me all through my life.

Mrs. Asha

Do not believe in a thing because you have read about it in a book.

Do not believe in a thing because another man has said it was true.

Do not believe in a thing because it is hallowed by tradition.

Find out the truth for yourself, reason it out. That is realization.

So said Swami Vivekananda.

I heard about Swamiji from my very dear friend Prabha with whom I have been close right from childhood. I have always looked to her for learning life's lessons and to help anchor my very unsettled existence. When she told me about her Swamiji I was very keen to meet him, as I have always relied on her advice and choices.

Being in Chennai, living like a koopa mandooka (frog-in-the-well) tied up with home problems, I seldom get a chance to encounter people that I would love to meet and listen to. But once when I went to Bangalore, I had a chance to meet Swamiji.

When I first met him, I felt that he was too young to wear the saffron mantle of a Swamiji - which is usually worn with grey hair, a flowing beard and ageless wisdom...

As it was the time of Swamiji's birthday celebrations at the ashram in Bidadi, I spent a lot of time there with Prabha and other friends. This gave me the opportunity to be in Swamiji's presence many times. Since I have always been the type to hold back and be reserved, I guess I missed so many chances to speak my thoughts to Swamiji, although I was eager to do so. There was so much to ask him, personal anxieties to express and objective suggestions to obtain, but I found that I could not bring myself to actually talk. Instead, I chose to just watch and listen to him.

They do say that 'the harvest of a quiet eye is the best harvest of all'. And indeed, as I listened to Swamiji and as we accompanied him when he went to meet the people who thronged to touch his feet and be healed, I felt that I was in the presence of greatness, a phenomenon that could not be measured in words or images. There was something which reached the very core of our heart and soul, the sheer magnanimity of his vision, his grace and compassion.

His talks and discourses are so full of clarity. As we sat among the crowd asking unspoken questions, I found he gives you answers unasked. That is the sheer magic of his communication!

Jagani Jagadish

The year 2002 will remain always marked in my memory as ‘The Year of Spiritual Awakening’. Things were going haywire both in my personal and professional life. I could easily say that both were in shambles. I lost my job, quite suddenly, and for what was really unreasonable, in the 2ⁿᵈ quarter of 2002. My husband was also out of a job at that time, and was awaiting his next job which never seemed to materialize. Tension was eating the two of us, and coupled with this was an atmosphere of constant bickering and discontentment in the house.

After losing my job and being out of the ratrace for a while, I began to think - what was my life all about? A discontentment was brewing deep in the recesses of my heart. A deep-rooted, distinct feeling that a vital link was missing. A null, a vacuum, a void in my being. Of course, now, even knowing what it was, I was nowhere close to solving the gnawing problem. Was it a good job or jewels or a beautiful home? No. Increase in salary? No, that was not it. I knew I was seeking something, but frustratingly I couldn't put my finger exactly on what it was. I only prayed to Shridi Sai Baba to help me in this quest.

Sometime during all these disturbances in my life, I heard a distinct voice in my mind commanding me to go to Shridi. Now that was too far-fetched an idea for me. On the one hand I had lost my job and was barely making ends meet. On the other hand, who would accompany me to Shridi, which was a long journey from Bangalore? I shelved the idea for a later time and busied myself searching for a new job to relieve me from the immediate problem at hand. But Sai Baba willed otherwise. Around Oct 2002, the money for the trip to Shridi virtually fell into my lap, and the people to accompany me to this place were miraculously arranged. We arranged this trip at the last moment when no train reservations were available, and we were 130 on the waiting list. It seemed hopeless to expect to go. Then I heard of a package tour to Shridi being conducted. But even here we were on the waiting list. Again, wondrously, at the last moment, ten people with both reservations fell out of the package trip and our seats were arranged, all this just three hours before departure from the city railway station to this holy place.

When the master calls, the common mortals have to heed the call. The Samadhi Mandir at Shridi was like a balm to my tired, agitated mind. The waves of peace which emanated from the idol of Sai Baba filled my heart with peace and calm. I cried out to my saviour with all my heart to help me find bliss in my life. Could it be that my outpouring was heard by Sai Baba, and he directed me to my living guru Swami Nithyananda? Soon after returning from Shridhi, within a month, my close friend and I heard of a young enlightened master who was a jet age Swamiji. Some of his teachings which we heard about had a definite appeal for us. To my friend and myself, this was a Godsend. It was as if Baba himself directed me to this living legend to enable me to discover bliss in my life.

I was already imagining what this Guru would be like, and was excited at the prospect of meeting him. On Nov 22ⁿᵈ a meeting was arranged with him. He was very jovial and definitely belied our idea of a traditional guru - a serious face, a beard, etc. He spoke to the group casually and advised us to participate in the ‘Ananda Spurana Program’ which was starting the very next morning. This is a residential program designed by Swamiji, where he takes us through a series of meditations to cleanse the seven chakras. After this the ‘Ananda’ in our being is uncovered. It is akin to a mirror with dust on it, which the meditations erase, leaving behind ‘Ananda’ or ‘Bliss’, which is our true nature.

Swami, during those 2 memorable days, interspersed his meditation techniques with jokes and stories. He stressed the importance of meditation in daily life. He urged the participants to spread his message of bliss to all.

It was unbelievable, but after the Ananda Spurana program, I felt I was floating in the clouds. There was a lightness in my heart after I had unburdened my soul to my Sadguru. It seemed almost as if Swamiji had performed a major surgery and implanted an inner permanent core of bliss which nothing could touch. I could distinctly feel the difference! Earlier, I would take every daily mundane happening seriously and become depressed and dull. But now, there seemed to be no place in my heart for all this; such things now hit the core of my being temporarily and got knocked off.

I can distinguish a constant, steady state in which my mind is set. Below this level, my depressions are held at bay. My faith in my Guru makes me believe that he is holding me in this state, and my heart swells in gratitude to him as this single thing has made a great difference in my life and the lives of my immediate family members, who always bore the brunt of my depression.

Swami Nithyananda underwent so many hardships to discover bliss and healing! How fortunate we disciples are to be able to interact with this eminent person and receive bliss and healing all on a silver platter! We are indeed blessed recipients of his divine grace. Swami always teasingly remarks that like instant food, instant dosa and idli, he is showing us how to contact the divine instantly through healing. He always says that to be in bliss is the hotline connection to God, because that is the only state of mind to be in. His mission is to give this wonder-key to millions of people and transform this discontented, overworked, indifferent planet into an ecstatic one, filled with bliss and compassion.

The next memorable event in my association with Sadguru was the healing initiation. Swami passed on his healing power to us with a brief initiation. Just by healing the patients, we ourselves would get rejuvenated in spirit and leave the ashram in an elevated frame of mind. All the tiredness of the day would vanish. Added to this, our gratitude to the Divine would multiply manifold, for giving us good health, which so many people in the world were longing for, and which at many times we take for granted.

Swami would insist upon us that healing itself is a sadhna (spiritual practice), the reason being that during healing, your whole being is concentrated on alleviating the suffering of another, forgetting at that time ‘the self’. Your thoughts of the Guru and bliss put you in touch with the divine. Hence, healing is like prayer or sadhna.

During this period Swami would welcome the healers for a brief healers’ meet everyday. Here we could ask any question on spirituality to which he would give his reply. Interesting stories, anecdotes, jokes were shared. Somehow, every word uttered by our Guru had a strange effect on us. Every word had a strange power and remained etched in my memory.

There comes to my mind an incident in which Swami rendered his healing first-hand. I had been suffering from fissure and skin problems since 1996. Nothing could heal this completely. I had tried all the dermatologists in the city, but none could find out the cause of the allergy. All skin specialists claimed that allergies were difficult to determine. My skin would flare up in the neck region and would leave a black mark. The fissures would rupture and bleed every now and then, causing acute discomfort. Finally, after Swami came into my life, I decided to approach him.

Swami placed his palm on my hand for a while and simply asked me whether I ate non-vegetarian food. He advised me to give up eating non-vegetarian food and said I would be fine. I just followed his advice and have been sticking to it for a year, and my problem has been completely solved.

Another case in which Swami came to my rescue was with regard to my son. He is really a hyperactive child. Invariably, he got into trouble because of this. He would throw objects in a fit of hyperactivity, with no intention of hurting anyone. But for his bad luck, the flying object would almost always find its victim - and my son would be the next one with his class teacher! His class teacher had had enough of him and things came to a stage where she complained to the Principal and sought her permission for me to keep my son at home and they would give him attendance. I was shocked speechless. What would I do with the child out of school? I decided to seek refuge in Swami again.

I took my son to him and put the problem before him. He laughed aloud and asked us not to over-react. After all, he said, he is barely five, and a five-year-old will be naughty. But nonetheless, to pacify us, he placed his hand upon my son's head for a few seconds and said that he would be fine. And true to his word, we sensed a distinct change come over the child. He was no longer hyperactive, and - believe it or not - did not get into serious trouble again! Again my gratitude to my Guru knew no bounds. Step by step, time and again, I am being drawn to my Guru's lotus feet. In all my life's day-to-day problems, I think of him and draw a lot of energy and moral support from him. Swami always says that he works in our lives, so there is often no need to tell him the problem verbally. It only involves connecting to him mentally with full faith in the Guru's powers. It has been wonderful to feel each and every problem getting sorted out so beautifully.

My only hope and prayer is to be of some service to my Sadguru, and to grow spiritually into a better human being with his divine grace.

Jai Gurudev!

Kalpana Mani

I felt the extreme love of this world in your touch, which I had not realized before. In my life, I had never used word ‘death’, I feel afraid even when I hear that word from others. But after the heavenly touch of yours, my inner voice said these words wholeheartedly, “I got my life fulfilled by this caring touch. I am ready to die now with this splendid happiness.”

But no, I am not ready for it, as I want to live long, only to enjoy, devoted to my honourable Swami Nithyananda.

I feel very lonely without you for even a minute. It will be difficult without you during your foreign trip. But I made up my mind to be with thoughts of you from the past days, which are going to refresh me with joy. I am going to keep you with me in your portraits, and fill your presence around and inside me.

When I look at others, I feel as if you look from inside me. When I laugh, I feel as if your laugh has been replaced in mine. Even when I shake my hands, when I speak, everything must resemble you. It is very natural, not prepared, without my awareness. I feel as if Nithyananda Swami has migrated inside me, in each cell. I feel this as an enlightenment in me. Swamiji is fully dissolved in my blood now.

In ASP, you teach us to thank everyone for their favour. I feel I want to thank a godly couple all my life. That is Swamiji's beloved parents, who gave us a wonderful, heavenly, graceful child. Whenever I see you I feel it!

Mrs. Muthiah

Muthaiah N.

My experience at the ASP retreat in San Francisco, which started with skepticism and uncertainty, quickly turned into conviction and commitment.

In addition to the range of emotions that I personally experienced, I witnessed grown men and women of all ages and backgrounds literally brought to tears when they received Swami's Energy Darshan.

During the two days of the discourses at the retreat, the various analogies and "small stories" that Swami narrated, and the knowledge that he imparted, left no doubt in the minds of most, if not all of us, that he was indeed an enlightened soul. The uncanny manner in which he related to the average person's dilemma and was so aware of contemporary culture in the east and the west forced one participant to ask Swami if he 'watched TV'. His answer was NO. Most importantly, at no point did Swami say that he was anything more than an enlightened soul. He also preached the universality of religion without forcing down any religious doctrine or dogma. This is refreshingly different from others who practice proselytization without reproach. In fact when one of the participants told him that she was considering whether she should take him up as her guru, he told her to ‘continue to contemplate’ until she is comfortable.

I am sure that we have all gained additional spiritual insights, but the challenge that remains in each of us is to practise his teachings sincerely.

Ma Nithya Aparna [Revathi Ganesh]

Life for me had reached a point of crisis. My mind was racing with so many questions, there was an inner conflict going on almost all the time. I was contemplating and trying so many things to satisfy myself. The satisfaction, the joy, was always temporary, it faded away too soon. I was totally confused, and I did not even understand about what! All I knew was, there seemed to be a vacuum, I felt like an incomplete jigsaw puzzle. Actually I had come full circle, everything that one would wish for was there and I should have been very pleased and happy with life - but NO, that wasn't the case with me! It was not discontentment, unhappiness, not any kind of emotional insecurity, nor was I craving for any materialistic things?? But still there was this emptiness, a feeling of incompleteness, a vacuum deep within. What is life? What is success? Was life all about working hard, running a home, etc.? NO! Then what?? Many such questions kept my head pounding. Nobody, no books, no amount of meditation could give me a satisfying answer and nothing could fill that vacuum.

Rituals were something I never believed in, but praying was part and parcel of my life; almost all my intimate conversations are only with God! I started reading a lot of spiritual books and attending spiritual discourses. Through all this questioning and restlessness I was attuned to Reiki and went on to the third degree, thus practising a lot of meditation and healing. To a certain extent I could feel myself groping through and feeling satisfied, but still that vacuum remained as wide as ever.

Then I heard about Swamiji, that he was very young but very mature, contemporary, an ocean of knowledge, very modern in his outlook, and his discourses were excellent and he could reach out to the common man.

Since physical and mental fatigue had taken over due to all the questioning and confusion, I welcomed a break through Swamiji’s ‘Ananda Spurana Program’ at a picturesque location, though it did not sound different from so many other programs being offered. But that was not to happen. Instead, on the same day that I was supposed to attend his program, I ended up visiting the holy town of Shridi. (I am a staunch believer in Shridi Sai Baba, and have always considered him my guru.) Then started the wonderful journey - it was so sudden and miraculous! Suddenly, on my return from Shridi, I felt some kind of direction, some voice that was all the time prompting me to at least meet this Swamiji whose program I had missed. Finally I decided to listen, and went to meet Swamiji.

We were ushered into a room (around six of us) - and there I was, face to face with Swami! He was full of humour and I found myself feeling at home; it was more like I had met a good friend after many years and I could say anything I pleased without any inhibitions, and he would simply understand. I was talking with ease, and he was suggesting we attend his program which was the next day, and even before I knew it I was agreeing to do so, though I had already taken my break by going to Shridi.

Before I could even figure out what was happening I was at his program, though I had no inkling of what it was all about. But I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO REGRETS. THE PROGRAM WAS BEYOND WORDS.

By the end of it I was in great ecstasy and full of gratitude for being introduced to Swamiji. The ‘Energy Darshan’ gave such a wonderful glimpse of bliss, I had never ever experienced such profound joy in my life, no never, not even when I got a good husband, a lovely child and so many more things in life. The joy is indescribable, beyond words and comparison. One has to feel and experience it to rejoice in it. It was so enveloping that I was overflowing with gratitude, and I fell at Swamiji’s feet in complete reverence, remaining so forever... And from that day he has brought me a long way...

As per his final instructions to carry and spread the emotion, I carried it all home, and am still very earnestly trying to spread it. THE VACUUM WHICH NEVER SEEMED TO GET FILLED HAD DISAPPEARED, and I was ebbing with love and compassion; suddenly the sky seemed brighter, the songs of the birds more lovely, all relationships were sweet, there was great beauty and joy in the simplest of things, I was simply reaching the skies without even stretching my arms, I FELT I HAD NOW COME FULL CIRCLE.

An awareness had slowly crept in, I was and am being transformed - to WHAT, only Swamiji knows, but definitely for the very best.

It was over a month and all the wonderful feelings still remained, but I was expecting most of it to wane off sooner or later because that is how it has been with everything else. Suddenly, one day, I went into a depression for no apparent reason. I was convinced that it was all over again, the vacuum would come back, this was the end of all the glory, the ecstasy - only to discover that a transformation was taking place deep within me, an awareness that I did not even acknowledge before was identifying the cause, teaching me it was not worth getting depressed about anything, teaching me to live in the now and just be in ‘NITHYANANDAM’ (joyous in every moment). I slipped out of the depression in a wink and have not seen the face of it ever since.

This ‘ANANDAM’ has come to stay for ever, and with it has come faith in abundance, in Swami Nithyananda.

When Swamiji came into my life is when I was born again, I found my self, call it ‘REJUVENATION’ or ‘REBIRTH’. My gratitude to Swamiji for giving a meaning to my life. Now I am actually living each and every minute in my life, each and every cell in my body has been rejuvenated. There is a total personality shift.

I am living completely in the attitude of gratitude. Deep within is a quiet strength, great courage and PROFOUND FAITH which seems to be growing in leaps and bounds.

In fact, one does not need to ask him any questions, you just ponder, seek and you will find the answers handed over to you neatly in a nutshell.

It is like my life is being shuffled like a pack of cards, but this time the cards are so beautifully falling into the right slot, the end always turns out to be for my best.

Another intriguing thing with Swamiji is, you think ‘He is doing so much for us, let me do at least this small service for him.’ But sooner or later you realize that actually you have benefited from whatever service you did him.

YOU CAN NEVER GIVE ANYTHING TO SWAMIJI, YOU CAN ONLY RECEIVE FROM HIM.

It is one year since I met him, he has filled me to the brim, I am still overflowing with the same love, compassion, ecstasy. It has been a series of lessons and realizations of the past and present. I understand the meaning and answers to so many questions. I now understand the meaning and feeling of joy, bliss, ecstasy... that lasts and will last forever. The great feeling of unconditional love and how satisfying it can be, the meaning of life, the pathway to liberation... and though I know I have a long way to go, I KNOW I AM NOT ALONE, I am so happy to have found my friend, guide, son... GURU and remain in reverence and gratitude to him forever.

MY EXPERIENCE AS A HEALER

One bright sunny day (all days are sunny from the time I met Swamiji), when I was still rejoicing and basking in the warmth and afterglow of meeting Swamiji, I was initiated as a healer by him on 9ᵗʰ February 2003.

Though I was healing people through Reiki, it was only after I started practising his healing that I discovered and experienced so much. To quote a few examples below (the list is endless):

If you know how difficult it is to put a good book down, then it is much more difficult to come out of the bliss you feel when you are healing, to open your eyes and get back to reality!

These are justove are words. To know just what it is, you have to feel, to experience... anything with Swamiji is always an experience. To put it in his words, 'A TANGIBLE EXPERIENCE'.

Words are not enough to express my gratitude to him, but I thank him all the same for making me a humble extension of his 'hands that heal', and allowing me to be a part of many remarkable experiences...

I remain in a plethora of gratitude... reverence... forever...

Ma Nithya Deepakshi [Viji Shankar]

I wish to put on record my grateful thanks to Swami Nithyananda for the good health, peace and joy that he has bestowed upon me.

I happened to read an article published in ‘The Hindu’ about Swamiji’s healing powers and I also came to know more about him through my neighbour. I had been suffering from certain health problems then. I went to meet Swamiji at his Bangalore City Center. For a few days I used to just stand and watch him healing others.

One day as I stood in the queue for his Darshan, I could feel warmth right from my heart welcoming me into his Divine Grace. That’s when I realized that there is much more to Swamiji than his physical form.

I had been suffering from backache, throat infection and headache for several years. I decided to take healing from Swamiji. During the first healing done by Swamiji, these symptoms reduced by 50%. After the complete 15 sessions of healing, my problems disappeared completely.

I was further advised to attend the Ananda Spurana Program, which Swamiji himself used to conduct. It was a great opportunity and a unique experience to learn various meditation techniques, and spend two whole days in the presence of this great Enlightened Master. I came back from the program, a totally transformed person with a very positive frame of mind and feeling blissful. Since then there has been no looking back.

After being healed and attending the first ASP, I wanted to become a healer. I was asked to attend another ASP. After the second ASP, I came back feeling totally rejuvenated, and feling as though I had been transported to another world! I was feeling a joy that is beyond any worldly description.

On June 29ᵗʰ 2003, I was initiated as a healer by Swamiji, and started a healing center at my home. Since then I have been doing healing for people with different ailments.

It’s a wonderful experience being a channel for Swamiji in the healing process. The flow of His Divine energy through me gives me totally new vitality and vigour. These days there is not a dull moment in my life. Any symptoms of any kind of problem, physical, mental or otherwise, that I face, disappear as I carry out Swamiji's healing.

It is indeed my great fortune to be associated with our beloved Swamiji who is full of Divine Energy.

With love and devotion I totally surrender at the lotus feet of this Divine Master.

Ma Nithya Maneesha [Rahila Santhanam]

How do I reminisce about a force that has transformed my life with such completeness?

If I jot down incidences chronologically, then I would be penning mere history. I do not think a book, let alone a few pages of remembered metamorphosis will do justice to this extraordinary Energy, this profound Intelligence, this manifest Ecstasy called Paramahamsa Sri Nithyananda Swamigal.

I have known Swamiji – no, not known – how can the mind ever know the fathomless! I have been with and around Swamiji for the past two years. The concept of Time becomes meaningless in his presence. Hours get telescoped into fleeting moments. Days and nights become seamless. Hunger, thirst, sleep, the very basis of human existence become mere words entombed in dusty dictionaries.

To be with Swamiji is to be totally alive, alert, aware! It's experiencing the exhilaration of a dew-kissed bud blooming by the touch of the morning sun. It's learning through laughter; eschewing seriousness for sincerity. It's knowing how to fall in rhythm with the dancing moonbeams. It's absorbing the grandeur of the Spirit. How do I capture Swamiji's essence? He is a continuous experience-ing. The Verb, not the Noun. He is pure energy – the formless in form, the bodiless in body. To be in his space is to enjoy utter security. His extraordinary innocence, his implicit honesty, his absolute ease of manner with both male and female are qualities to be cherished. The truth is, there is no physicality in him. He is a rare gem in an exalted firmament. I can state this categorically because I have had the privilege of being with him in all kinds of situations, at all times of day and night. Not once in all these months have I seen him violate anyone's personal space by word or deed. He offers protection in the ultimate sense of that word. He gives his space unconditionally to those who seek. The freedom to 'be' oneself without defenses and fears is a response that is evoked by the purity of his love for each and every one.

Personal growth happens, blossoming takes place with total trust. I, as a woman, feel blessed to be in the presence of such a rare and beautiful Being.

His energy expresses itself in myriad ways. At times he is the greatest companion, the beloved Krishna of the twinkling feet, endearing, adorable, naughty, exasperating. At other times he is Shiva, exacting, relentless, filled with limitless knowledge, with a depth of ascetic quietness, dancer of the rhythm divine. He is the strength of the Father and the soft compassion of the Mother – a beautiful blend of the male and female energies. Ardhanareeshwar incarnate. Every nuance of his movement is sheer poetry in motion. He is flow. He is exquisite grace. He is the laughing child of the innocent gaze. He is undiluted charm. He is awesome intelligence wedded to boundless compassion.

His innate social awareness and etiquette belies the fact that he is, after all, a mere boy from Tiruvannamalai. Watching him conduct himself with people from all walks of life is a lesson in interpersonal management. His understanding of situations and individuals, the swiftness with which he resolves any kind of crisis, his readiness to give his time and energy to seekers on the spiritual path, his outstanding sense of humour, the exuberance and the joy which he exudes wherever he moves are the silken threads that binds each and every one of us to him.

I cannot imagine a time without him. Everything that has happened before his arrival has been nothing but a preparation to receive him. I do not know where I am going or what is in store for me. Everything is nebulous, unclear, uncertain. But the glorious truth is that there is no inner discomfort, there is no fear of what is to be. My trust in him is so complete that I know that he will help me actualize my latent potential, he will help me see the blueprint with which I came. The hitherto forgotten language, the faint inner echo, that unattended call will be addressed now. The more I let go, the more harmonious is the flow in my life. To learn to live in the ‘Now’, to free my Self from the clutches of auto-deception, to realize that I, not the mind, is the master of my destiny - these have been the greatest truths he has made me experience.

Learning with Swamiji is experiential. Not for him the static age-old methods of knowledge transmission. Time and again he has made me ‘empty my cup’ so that the space could be created to take in only that which is essential. All my voracious reading of books on New Age philosophy, the spiritual discourses that I have attended, all the lessons I have taken in self actualization, all the hours I have spent on discussions, have not led me to the truth the way the moments spent with Swamiji have. No amount of thanks can ever convey the gratitude I feel for the time, energy and space he has given me so unconditionally. Again and again he has shown me that what I want is not necessarily what I need. Sometimes these lessons have come with compassion and loving understanding, at other times with the swiftness and sharpness of an arrow in perfect trajectory. Yes, there has been pain, but it has always come only when the ground had been prepared by him, when the cushioning has been done, when I have been ready to learn and move on. To quote him, “Always remember that your lessons will come only when I know that you are ready. I will create the space for you to fall – and that space is the abyss of my heart. You will fall in, never out. That is my promise to all seekers.”

Can one quantify energy? Can one fit it into set pigeonholes? Can it ever be labeled? Or possessed? The

Master is pure boundless energy. An expression of Divinity. He can be experienced but never held. He is death to the mind. He pushes you beyond all limits He infuses you with the courage to face the Truth.

I wish to express my profound love, respect and gratitude to Swamiji for the spiritual fire that he has ignited within me. For starting the inner process of transformation. For allowing the alchemy to continue till the dross is dropped and pure gold is allowed to shine through in his compassionate presence. For showing me the way back Home.

Rahi... a spiritual wanderer.

Ma Nithya Raga [Mala Sridhar]

It was a warm afternoon on the 30ᵗʰ of May 2003. I set out to Yercaud with a group of people whom I had met barely for a few minutes the previous evening. Strange though it may sound, the moment I entered the vehicle in which Swamiji was travelling, I felt at home, at ease, as if I was part of the family. Something inside told me

I had the initial glimpse of Swamiji on 29ᵗʰ May when I went to the city center at Bangalore. My first impressions were, that here is an honest man who is doing well for humanity. It was only later, as time rolled by, that I saw the multi-dimensional persona of this beautiful being.

On 31ˢᵗ May, a medley crowd gathered at the House of Peace, Yercaud, each with an expectant look on the face and an eager heart. Swamiji graced the Hall and there began a journey for each of us. His classic opening sentence - "Leave your footwear and ego outside" - was enough to leave me spellbound. It created such a wonderful sense of oneness, we all merged into the Mahamantra meditation as one entity.

To say that Swamiji is an excellent orator would be an understatement. His deep voice, interesting anecdotes, stories and jokes struck a chord in every heart. So young, yet so full of knowledge - I could see his universal appeal. Through each meditation, so deftly woven, I was taken through waves, through torrents, through silent downpours of emotions - to experience at the end of each an inexplicable sense of peace. The incessant chatter of the mind gave way to an incredible calm.

I could see in Him, as time ticked by, a gamut of personalities - Godlike to some, father to some others, brother, friend, child... and I felt I could just sit in his radiant presence - forever... the energy he exudes has to be experienced to be believed!

Of all the meditation techniques he shared with us, the one that touched me most deeply was that taken from Sufism, to live with an attitude of gratitude. Thank you Swamiji, for sharing your knowledge, for your compassion, for just saying - I'm always there should you need me... you have touched me profoundly...

Ma Nithya Satvati [Sivagami Ramanathan]

ASP is an Amazing, Spiritual and Peaceful Experience!

It is an Absorbing, Sparkling and Pulsating Journey!

It is an Astounding, Simple and Practical Demonstration!

It is an Absolute, Spellbinding and Profound Discovery!

It makes us Alert, Spontaneous and Perceptive Beings!

It makes us feel alive and whole, and makes us look within ourselves - in short, it is a discovery of oneself! It was a thrilling and eye-opening journey where I was guided by the great enlightened master and the final destination was the discovery of joy within myself. We were all transported to a higher plane of bliss, a timeless zone of joy and a throbbing field of energy.

There were various points in the ASP program that made a great impression upon me.

The main point is that Swamiji teaches us to overcome our anxiety over many things - including our most feared final destination. He teaches us about loving and dreaming, caring and imagination, compassion, spontaneity - and most importantly gratitude. He helps us overcome worry, greed, hatred, egoism, enmity and jealousy.

What has greatly impressed me is that he does not limit himself to any particular religion - he has such an unlimited realm of knowledge that he is able to draw from any religion and elucidate his explanations in such a simple way that we can all understand and grasp his meanings. He uses such apt and descriptive words that they stay fresh in your mind. He gives us such powerful insights into the various religions and draws the best from all of them.

He created a magic web with his words, involved us to the fullest extent, drew our attention to him completely and released joy, bliss and peace within us. He taught us a simple method to heal ourselves, made us very aware of our body, its functioning, our thought processes and their direction. We became conscious of how our thoughts traveled and he aided us in channeling them onto the right track.

There were many pearls of wisdom dropping from this enlightened master, but I was able to gather only some at the first meeting. This is like a thirsty man quenching his thirst. With his first sip of water, he is able to only wet his mouth; the second sip wets his throat, but he requires many more gulps of water to quench his thirst. In this ASP I was only able to wet my mouth - kindle my interest in life, death and beyond. I think I require a second ASP to be able to gather and string all the pearls that Swamiji has spoken about.

The meditation techniques are an Aid, Skill and Practice that we must use and follow with dedication all our lives.

Sri Nithyagnanananda [Dr.H. Noble Maria Regis]

Jai Gurudev!

I was preparing for my final year medical exams. Just for relaxation I came out from my room. On T.V. I saw a young swami being interviewed. In some way he attracted me - his smiling face, jovial talk, contemporary explanation for spiritual questions.

I thought that this person seems to be saying some truth. I forgot about my preparation for my exams and sat in front of the T.V. and watched the live programme which continued for two hours. I felt that in some way he must be great. (At that time I didn't know that he was an enlightened master.)

After a few days, at 10 o' clock in the night, I received the message that a two-day programme was going to be held in Yercaud by Paramahamsa Sri Nithyananda Swamigal the next day. The next day I attended his ASP.

After the first session was over, luckily I got an opportunity to meet Swamiji. Swamiji held my hands and said, “You are my disciple, you are carrying my energy.”

At that time I realized nothing. I thought, ‘In a very nice way, Swami collects people to help him with his work.’ Now I realize my idea was so stupid, and now I understand how compassionate he is.

After attending the same program three times my personality improved so much. Earlier I was so confused, and my mind was full of anger, fear, etc. Now there is unexplainable peace and joy in my heart. I thank Swamiji from the core of my heart.

Finally, I realized and accepted that he is an enlightened master. Until then I was very egoistic, I always felt I knew everything. Ego spoilt me a lot, now I realize I know nothing - I was wasting my life till I met Swamiji.

Then I joined his one-year residential programme. Every day Swamiji makes us learn so many things. In all possible ways he cuts down our ego.

In short, Swamiji is doing ‘spiritual surgery’ on our minds. Each day we are growing. Once again my heartfelt thanks to Swamiji.

Ma Nithyananda Jesus [Swarna K. Reddy]

'UNBELIEVABLE' is the word that comes to mind! Such was my experience with ASP and Sri Nithyananda Swami. When I first met Swamiji at my friend Sudathi’s home in Los Angeles, my curiosity and interest was kindled, as I have been searching for a long time to learn more about meditation. I decided after the first teaching of the 'Maha Mantra' by Swamiji, to come to San Francisco for the ASP, but I had my doubts - what was the ASP about? I asked Swamiji's close devotee Chitra about it, but she said, "Words cannot express the feeling

Chitra was so right! Words indeed cannot truly express the experience. Swamiji’s tireless discourses and the teaching of the meditation techniques, the ease with which he explained such complicated subjects in simple language, the giving of himself, his healing, Swamiji’s ever-smiling face, the vast wisdom and knowledge, the radiance around him, his simple personality and approachability, and the ease with which he interacted with everybody are but a few of the things that make him an outstanding person and indeed the enlightened one. I consider myself so very fortunate and am so very grateful and thankful to Swamiji for these wonderful experiences and teachings.

During the ASP, when Swamiji was taking us through the meditation on the Ajna Chakra, I initially saw the vision of an old man. Swamiji again asked us to close our eyes. Before Swamiji started Ajna Chakra meditation he mentioned that we may see our ishtadevata (favoured deity) during this experience. In my heart I was thinking of seeing my ishtadevata Sri Venkateswara Swami. Instead I saw the figure of Jesus Christ on a cross with his head down and hands stretched between Swamiji's eyebrows. When I later asked Swamiji why I saw Jesus instead, he told me that in my last birth I had been a Christian. When Swamiji said this, I mentioned to him that all these years, from my childhood starting in convent school, I offer my first prayer to Jesus.

In addition to all of the above, with just one healing touch from Swamiji, I have had total relief of my back pain, from which I had been suffering for the last 15 years. My heartful gratitude to Swamiji for this.

Being in such close proxomity to such a great person was an experience of a lifetime and I will always cherish this.

My sincere thanks to everybody who helped get this program together, which made it possible for people like me to have this experience.

Now it is my turn, to practise all of Swamiji’s teachings and spread the word.

Thank you very much again Swamiji.

“Listen can you help with a book on divine healing? I’ll give you enough material, but we need it in a hurry.”

The hasty phone call was from an old friend, a web designer who had recently become involved with Dhyanapeetam. It was the first I heard about Swamiji (a most unusual way to be introduced to one’s future guru!).

I had all the ideal prerequisites to fall for such an invitation – I was already in the throes of deep depression, having ‘tried out’ various spiritual disciplines that hadn’t worked for me. I was convinced that there was something basically wrong with me. I was desperate for spiritual guidance, but simply didn’t know where to turn.

Still I said, I’ll think about it.

It took more than two weeks of persistent calls from my friend to get me to agree.

Finally I went with him, half-skeptical, half-excited.

Those were the days when Swamiji was operating out of a makeshift studio-cum-healing centre, located just off a busy road. Soon after we entered, we were ushered into Swamiji's presence. I guess it was the perfectly wrong place to meet him! The obviously religious atmosphere of the place made me somewhat uncomfortable. Standing quietly in a corner of the room, I took a good look at the saffron-clad figure seated on an ornamental throne. He looked like just one more of those spiritual figures one sees everywhere these days. I was bitterly disappointed.

"So you have come, ma! I'm sorry you had to wait so long!", Swamiji said when he spotted us, smiling broadly.

(I was bewildered; I had got there only five minutes earlier! At the time, I was too much of an idiot to realize what exactly he meant by those words...!)

Then he beckoned to me to come forward – and to my utter dismay, I found myself going up to him and prostrating at his feet!

I was furious with myself. Now just why did I do such a stupid thing? I thought. I, who hadn't visited a temple since I was ten, who was allergic to anyone in saffron, had just fallen at the feet of this young stranger! I felt a thorough fool.

After discussing the job on hand, Swamiji dismissed the others and asked me if I had anything personal to say to him.

"Nothing." I said firmly.

"Nothing - except - ?" he queried gently.

I was taken aback. How did he know? Should I go ahead and tell him? I was torn between the rulings of heart and mind.

"Well, nothing except... where do I go from here...?", I faltered weakly.

"NOWHERE. You have come to the right place, ma. This is the end of your quest. You are going to be with me", he said, smiling mysteriously.

Like hell I am, I thought angrily. What did he mean by taking charge of my future like this? He's making a fool of me!

I left in a huff, deeply disturbed without knowing why. Soon after, my friend called to say that Swamiji had asked me to take ten days' continuous healing from him for my depression (which I hadn't even mentioned to him).

No way, I said.

I went, nevertheless - without missing a single day.

During that period Swamiji asked me to attend the upcoming ASP. I was reluctant. I had attended so many personal development programs, could this one be any different? To tell the truth, I was afraid. I felt I simply couldn't bear it if things didn't work out one more time...

"It might help you with the writing, that's all", Swamiji said gently.

The ASP proved a total non-starter for me.

Everybody had been asked to wear white clothes; I wore green and purple instead. I don't know whom or what I was fighting! During the program, all around me people were going into paroxysms of bliss - and I was just bewildered.

Just before the energy darshan, Swamiji remarked on the tremendous effect it would have on our systems.

"Of course, emotional people can enjoy both the experience and the effect. Intellectual people will feel no experience, only the effect", he said, looking me straight in the eye (or was I imagining it?).

After the Energy darshan, I felt exactly nothing.

I returned home, envious of all those who had had those beautiful spiritual experiences. Why not me?

I want nothing to do with this stuff anymore, it’s not worth it! I decided.

Still, what with one thing or the other, I ended up going to the healing center every other day.

Why is he dragging me here everyday? I don’t want to come! I would tell myself bitterly.

Well, why was I going? I was free to drop the jobs any minute. Was I really being forced to go, or was I being drawn by something irresistible, beyond my comprehension?

I hastily put these uncomfortable questions out of my mind.

Instead, whenever I was in Swamiji’s presence, I would fire my questions at him: Why the saffron robe? Why all these poojas and rituals? Above all, why would an enlightened person waste his time running a mission?

During healing one day, as I sat at his feet afire with questions, Swamiji reached out and took my hands gently in his own. His eyes were closed, but he was smiling.

“Your Mind can resist as much as it likes, ma. But see, your Being has already merged with mine!”

He spoke with infinite love, infinite compassion. As he said the words, I experienced the very thing he said - a silent, glowing wave that arose from me and disappeared gently into Him. And all my questions dissolved in his Love.

Then one day I received a call from the Secretary, asking me to attend the next healers' initiation program.

“But I'm not ready”, I protested.

“Swamiji says you are”, he said quietly.

“I don't think I'll come.”

“Swamiji expects you here tomorrow morning.”

Against every argument that logic could offer, I went. Without even understanding what I was there for, certain that I was quite incapable of being a channel for Swamiji, I went through with the initiation. I couldn't understand why I was doing this. I was slowly losing control of my life! I felt angry and helpless.

One day, in desperation, I put the question to Swamiji himself.

“Swami, I respect you, I feel blessed in your presence. Then why am I resisting you like this, why am I fighting you with everything I've got?”

“Perfectly OK, ma. The greater the devotion you feel, the greater the resistance you’ll experience”, he explained gently. When you surrender to the master, you surrender control over yourself. Naturally, your ego will be in fear, in fear of its own death! What you call ‘resisting’ is nothing but your ego fighting a losing battle against your love for me.”

That was a strange and difficult thing to believe – like so much else that was happening to me at the time.

Soon after, Swamiji moved to the Bidadi ashram permanently. Several times, we were invited to the ashram for various functions. I didn’t attend a single one. I had acquired a terror of the ashram, without even visiting it. (Perhaps I sensed even then that something phenomenal was about to happen, and I was simply too afraid..!)

In fact, I was in terror of Swamiji himself. The man was deliberately pushing me to the brink! Here I was, with a perfectly good job, a loving husband and family, so much to be complacent about. And yet, he was stirring in me a longing for something that I could not articulate, but could not ignore. Deep inside, I knew I was being called upon to fulfil a quest I had felt since I can remember.

How long will you postpone it, Raji? Swamiji asked me every time I went to him. He never said a thing aloud, but I could see it in his eyes, I could hear it in the silence between his words. But was I prepared to take the final step?

Finally, one lovely day in April, I made up my mind to get the visit to Bidadi over with.

We drove into the ashram - and _it was like coming home._ There is simply no other way to describe it.

For someone with a special talent for not receiving visions, I had a truly amazing experience of de ja vu. Here it was, at last! Every shrub, every brick was in place, just as I remembered it! Even the sunshine, the voices of the people talking, the smell in the air, was as familiar, as dearly beloved as from a long-forgotten home.

Then I spotted Swamiji, watching me with a quiet smile. “Oh, I’m sorry Swami, I didn’t see you...”, I stammered. “I know, you couldn’t see me. But I saw you right away”, he smiled, a mischievous twinkle in his eye.

In Bidadi, Swamiji was truly in his element – or perhaps, only here did I finally open my eyes and see. He was radiant with Love. His divine presence permeated the air; it spoke eloquently through every leaf and blade of grass, through the very sand beneath my feet. On a warm summer day, I found myself shivering. I had never been so dizzily happy, but I was fighting back tears! I felt suddenly weary, as if I had just completed a long journey, entrusted with some precious thing that I was to deliver safely to Swamiji. Finally I could lay it down at his feet, and rest peacefully there...

Astonished at all the weird emotions welling up inside me, I spilled them out to Swamiji.

There’s a word for these ‘weird emotions’ you’re feeling, ma. It’s called Love, he smiled.

After that visit, no questions remained anymore, no more excuses, no more power to think. The next time I came to Bidadi, it was for good - to be part of Swamiji’s first group of ashramites. “So you have come!”, Swamiji smiled at me that day, a repetition of his very first words to me. All I could do was nod silently in return. I was brimming over.

They say that when the disciple is ready, the master appears.

But it would take an ignoramus like me to turn my face away from the master's presence for almost a year.

All through that year, Swamiji worked silently upon me. Ploughing through prejudices acquired over the years, dissolving my resistance with his unconditional love and compassion. And all the while, pouring, pouring joy into me. He is still working, for there is so much, so much left to unlearn...

How can I ever thank you enough, Swamiji..?

Thank you so much for finding me... and thank you for showing me what a fool I was (and still am, sometimes!)

It's not easy, putting all this down on paper... it's never easy admitting to such folly in public!

But I feel compelled to write, because I know there are many out there who feel exactly like I did, less than two years ago.

To them, a couple of words: let go.

When your find your master, here or elsewhere, please don’t let your prejudices, your foregone conclusions get in the way.

Please, don’t make the mistake I made!

Everyone does not get the precious chance to be in the master’s divine presence – you are truly fortunate! Allow the master an opportunity to transform you.

In life, we rarely get a second chance.

My heartfelt prayers for all of you.

Sri Nithya Swaroopananda [P. Magesh]

When I was attending the meditation course called ASP (Ananda Spurana Program), the very name happened in me. 'Ananda Spurana' means "Flowering of Bliss", which happens inside our being i.e., the 'Atma' attains the state of Ananda.

During the ASP, Swamiji taught us lots of meditation techniques related to the main energy centers of our body, called Chakras. Each meditation was to cleanse and energise each chakra. This made my vision towards life much wider...much broader... and deeper.

I was a person who didn't even know about 'Meditation' or 'Inner Journey'. I had never even heard the word 'Enlightenment'. Even after hearing the word I couldn't trace its meaning. In such a state, I came to know about an 'Enlightened Master'. I came to know about him by his divine healing method i.e., healing through meditation. It was like a flood coming and filling a well in a desert area.

When I saw Swamiji for the first time, I was very surprised because he was so young. He was only 26 years and doing miracles, by healing the most severe diseases in the world. This showed that he is a person who knows the past, present and the future. So, he would certainly know what kind of a personality we could be in future. The only thing is, we must completely surrender ourselves to his sacred feet. We will definitely see our personality gets widened and we become much more aware.

He often says the ultimate truth is his very name. ‘Nithyananda’ (permanent bliss) can be attained by anyone in this world. I am sure that the stage of ‘Nithyananda’ would be much more superior to the stage of ‘Enlightenment’!

A lot of things in my life became clear. Swamiji is a person who doesn’t go by anyone’s face. Instead he sees the Being, or Atma. That is why he allowed a person like me, who doesn’t even understand the basic idea of spirituality, to stay with him as an ashramite.

He once told me a small story: that he is like a person standing on the 10ᵗʰ floor of a building - from that height he has a wide and broad view, and he knows which car is coming at what speed and what distance. We are like the persons standing on the road, we cannot even know or see if a car is coming. That is the difference between our small plans for ourselves, and his enlightened vision!

Swamiji says, “When we share dukkha (misery) it becomes less. But when we share ananda (joy) it becomes more and more. When we just spread ananda it will be a blissful experience. But we are lucky to have with us an enlightened personality called ‘Nithyananda’, i.e. the ananda which is forever. When we spread Nithyananda, we too will experience Nithyananda!

Sri Nithyatmananda [Atma]

Jai Gurudev!

It is very difficult to express in words my experience with Swamiji, because it not even an experience... it is beyond that.

Before I met Swamiji, I was in Osho Center, Salem, doing my spiritual practices. Once Swamiji visited Osho Center but I was not there. When I returned I saw Swamiji’s photo there for the first time. I was very much inspired and wanted to meet and be with him. But it took six months for me to meet him. It happened when Swamiji came to Salem to attend a public function. I went to meet Swamiji, but since it was a public gathering, I couldn’t talk much. I returned to Osho Center and continued my practices.

But from the next day... I could feel tremendous changes happening within me. I experienced boundless bliss and felt a higher energy force pulling me towards Swamiji. But my mind played its games, and I wanted to test whether this pull was real or an illusion, so I argued and analysed a lot and tried many meditation techniques intensely for two days. Then finally I realized it was not an illusion, but a real call from a high energy force.

After that I immediately rushed to Bangalore Ashram and met Swamiji to surrender myself at his lotus feet. Whatever I read in Zen and Gurdjieff books, I witnessed it happening with Swamiji. Swamiji put all his time, space and energy to help in my spiritual growth, only I could not match his speed! He helps me and lifts me to where he wants me to be. This shows how compassionate he is.

Each and every day I see so many miracles happening in his presence, and they are more beautiful than what you read in any spiritual books. But he always speaks very ordinarily about his extraordinary miracles.

I feel the relationship with Swamiji is not from this birth but a continuation of previous births. I don't know anything about the future, whatever I am experiencing in this moment with Swamiji is blissful. Whatever I have expressed here is very little, but my experience with Swamiji is beyond expression.

I prostrate at the lotus feet of Swamiji.

Prashanthi

That was the first day I saw him.

It was the second session of ASP in Hyderabad, in July 2004.

We waited for about one-and-a-half hours before Swamiji arrived. He came and started the session, but I found myself totally uninterested in sitting there till he finished. Somehow I managed to do it.

At the end of the day, I saw so many people deeply touched, healed, and moved - and I realized that I was missing something by not accepting him. But still, I could not let anybody take the place of my favourite god, Krishna.

Then, after the Energy Darshan, Swamiji started dancing amidst us. It was a real eternal dance, and I was in myself relating it to Krishna’s raas. Just then a lady called me and told me that this was Krishna himself dancing! I was overjoyed on hearing that, and decided to speak to him, but still in a corner of my mind I had foolish doubts about anybody else being my Krishna. But Swamiji read my thoughts! At the end of the session, Swamiji himself spoke to me. This was the moment that I feel was the 'Twist in my life'. Swamiji told me that he was my mother, father and my everything, and that he would never leave me. To my surprise, I found myself answering, "You are also my Krishna!" After speaking to my parents, Swamiji permitted me to join the ashram. That was when I realized how destiny could make its way and change lives in minutes!

Prema Sastri

When a friend invited me to the inauguration of a healing center in her house, I went out only of politeness. I knew littlle of Swami Nithyananda and expected only the usual string of platitudes. To my surprise, the young Swami had great vigour and clarity. Here was a person who had obviously experienced the truth. He dealt with questions expertly saying, “Teachers are there to answer your questions, but the master is there to question your answers.” He went on to speak of the gap an average person feels between his real life and his imaginary life. The words struck me as describing the basic cause of misery in human existence.

I was interested enough to join the ASP course. The beautiful campus with its charming cottages, the meditation hall, unique landscaping and interior decoration set the mood.

As soon as Swamiji entered and started the programme, we could see we were dealing with a warm-hearted human being. As the course progressed we realized we were in the presence of an enlightened master.

Swamiji discussed the role played by the seven chakras in a person's mental and physical well-being. He illustrated his discourse with appropriate 'small stories'. For cleansing each chakra he made us do various workouts, often blindfolded. As a result, we often found that we had moved far from our original starting-point. As Swamiji humorously remarked, 'Spiritual life not only transforms

The first evening was spent in a party spirit, with games and skits, and Swamiji actively participating. Humour and fun, says Swamiji, are an essential part of spiritual life.

The second day, the Energy Darshan was awe-inspiring. During the two days of ASP we lived in another world. As a follow-up of ASP there was a visit to Bidadi. The calm surroundings and the presence of Swamiji gave us a divine experience. Aside from physical healing, most of us need spiritual transformation. We are fortunate to have in our midst a Swamiji who can help us rid ourselves of pain, and enter the kingdom of bliss.

Vishwanathan [Vishwa]

In the name of reading books I felt I was undergoing a great illusion of practising spirituality. I was also trying meditation techniques, and discussions on spirituality. This was nicely satisfying my ego. As I confined myself to a small spiritual world, I stumbled, was dominated, controlled and in great confusion. I developed 'schizophrenia'. I suffered from deep depression and felt my whole life was dark and I was in deep trouble.

I met him in Chennai and like everybody I was greatly influenced by Swamiji's smile, laughter and speech. His presence immersed the whole atmosphere in a blissful state...

He understood the state I was in, and asked me to come and stay in his ashram and experience real spirituality. I really felt influenced by his commanding presence and the authenticity of all his experiences and realizations. It was a real test for me to take a decision to come to Bangalore and stay in the ashram, though I felt the pull. Even after a few meetings with him in Chennai, I could not make a decision. Then he said, “Come to the ashram just as a web designer to design my website.”

Each meeting with Swamiji in Chennai touched me deeply. Finally, I got permission from my parents to go to Bangalore for a week to stay and design the website.

Reading about an enlightened Master has nothing to do with living with an enlightened Master.

After I came to Bangalore, I had the privilege to be with him and work on the website as well, but the great work was going on in the inner world. The one week I planned to stay extended to more than one month. I attended his ‘Ananda Spurana Program’ in which my questions were answered, and I really experienced something which cannot be put in words and that has made me stay with him till now (it is two years now).

The moment-to-moment happenings in his presence and energy are inexpressible.

The relationship with the master is personal, intimate and unique to each one. The communion, the emotions, the wildness of it is an ultimate experience and can only be experienced, not expressed!