A Growing Consciousness🔗

As Rajasekaran was growing, the wildness of temper he had displayed as a child was gradually being distilled into a fierce spiritual quest.

(He laughingly recalls an incident where a furious cousin, fed up with the mischievous boy's antics, flung a heavy object at him, causing a deep gash on his forehead and heavy bleeding. Soon after this incident, Rajasekaran sobered down considerably, to the surprise (and relief, we guess!) of all who knew him.

Years later, Rajasekaran would learn that an accidental(?) fall in childhood had resulted in a similar wound on Swami Vivekananda's forehead. Sri Ramakrishna is said to have later clarified to Vivekananda that had the wound not occurred, the enormous energy that he was carrying would have been too strong for his physical body to sustain.)

The boy was by and large a loner. The activities and amusements of children his own age held no attraction for him. With a clarity well beyond his years, Rajasekaran was already focused on his chosen path.

It was befitting that his only close companions should be the sadhus^° who made their temporary resting place on the outskirts of the town. He would share his meals with them and spend long hours listening to the tales of their wanderings. If food and pulses went missing from the kitchen at home, Rajasekaran's family knew who was to blame! To their credit, his parents never once questioned the boy's doings, not even when he returned home well after midnight, drunk on the stories of the sadhus.

Delving deep into narratives of the sadhus' spiritual experiences

It was at this time that he came in touch with Annamalai Swamigal of Pilakoth, a disciple of Sri Ramana Maharishi. Rajasekaran frequently turned to him for advice on spiritual matters, and also pursued meditation at the Ramana Ashram. One day the boy overheard the Swamigal explaining to some disciples: “Only the body feels pain. You are not the body. You can feel no pain.”

Rajasekaran hurried home, determined to test the truth of this bizarre statement. Glancing around, his eyes fell upon a razor blade.

So fierce burned the thirst for Truth, that the boy did not even flinch as the blade drove deep into the tender flesh of his thigh. The skin tore in a crimson gash, blood gushed out and intense pain blinded the boy, who still let out no cry. Only the silent, anguished wail of “Why?? Why??” kept ringing in his head.

His dismayed family rushed Rajasekaran to hospital and attended to the wound, the scar of which he bears to this day. No sooner was the wound dressed than the boy rushed into Annamalai Swamigal’s presence, carrying this burning accusation upon his flesh. But the Swamigal only laughed, and explained that the truth of that statement was something he would have to experience personally. He then taught him a meditation technique that would reveal to him the source of all thoughts.

“Practise this meditation and you will get your answers”, the Swamigal assured him. With utmost sincerity and faith, the young Rajasekaran did just that. And indeed, it was not long before he got his answer.

The First Spiritual Experience

It was the month of Vaikashi. Atop the hillock of Pavalakundru, Rajasekaran sat engrossed in deep inner awareness. At the tender age of twelve, the boy was too young to even realize fully that what he was attempting was a potent meditation technique.

What happened next is best heard in his own words:

"The splendid evening had melted into soft purple twilight. The sky was awash with the pearly light of the full moon. The Vishakha star was suspended in the heavens, a brilliant gem upon the horizon. Overwhelmed by the ethereal loveliness of the moment, steeped in tranquility, I moved gently inward in meditation. After a while, I fell into a strange experience. I became suddenly aware that something had broken inside me, crushed like a fragile earthen pot. At the same time, something was opening up deep inside me, like a door opening.

In that moment, I was blessed with an extraordinary 360° vision in both planes: with my eyes closed, I could see with equal clarity the hill before me, the temple behind me, the hill to my left, the trees to my right, the rock on which I sat and the infinite sky above! The very next moment, I awakened to the realization “Everything is I! I am one with the whole of Existence!”

That ecstatic experience lasted more than an hour. [He learned later that it had been an Out of Body Experience (OBE).] Rajasekaran returned home in a fever of bliss and poured out his joy to Mataji Kuppammal. Recognizing the true signs of the state of ecstasy, she took in the boy and extended the gentle care he required in this exalted state. The state lasted only three days, but the memory of that intense delight would whet his spiritual quest for years to come.

and insights, Rajasekaran recognized their quest as his own. This only fuelled the fire that already blazed in his being. From them he also learned matters of practical importance. For instance, he came to know that the Northern Railway charged nothing to transport sadhus. This deepened his resolve to somehow make his way to the most sacred spiritual school of all – the Himalayas.

Around this time, Rajasekaran took to meditating in the cremation ground on the outskirts of the town. Through the deepest hours of the night, in the absolute silence of the cremation ground, the young boy would sit absorbed in meditation, to return home only in the light of dawn. Convinced by now that their son's destiny was unique, his parents surrendered wholeheartedly to the leela^° of Existence. Even today, he remembers with gratitude how they never once attempted to track his whereabouts, or dissuade him from his chosen path.

Life had many more lessons in store for the young boy. At fourteen, Rajasekaran witnessed the passing away of his great grandmother, herself a pious lady and his earliest spiritual guide. This experience impacted the young boy deeply, and he determined to discover, at any cost, the mystery of Death, the secret of Life, and the hidden source of All.

Even as Rajasekaran turned his quest inward with renewed fervour, Life took him onward in an entirely new direction. After his schooling, like other boys his age, Rajasekaran enrolled in a polytechnic in nearby Gudiyattam to study engineering.

But he had no time to waste on the aimless pursuits of youth. He poured his time, his energy, his very life upon the fire of his tapas^°°. He had no pursuit but the quest for truth. He spent hardly any time before his books, but that was unnecessary. The total concentration which he gave the lesson during class hours was enough to see him through each exam with the highest grade - a ‘Distinction’.

When an irate friend once asked him what he hoped to achieve by these ceaseless efforts at meditatation, Rajasekaran is said to have replied with characteristic nonchalance: “One day, you will stand in line to receive my blessings. Then you will know.”

(Here it must be noted that a few weeks before the writing of this book, the above friend arrived in the ashram to take Swamiji’s blessings – to the astonishment of all but Swamiji himself!)

rigorous spiritual practices undertaken by spiritual aspirants)

Rajasekaran spent his deepest hours of meditation in the sanctuary of his beloved Arunachala. Indeed, there is not a single rock or crevice of Arunachala that has not felt the fervour of his quest.

Ever one to experiment, Rajasekaran undertook all kinds of religious trials. One of these was Girivalam, circumambulating Arunachala daily for 108 days.

On one such occasion, he was walking along in a joyous reverie, singing to himself the tunes of well-loved devotional folk-songs. On a sudden intuition, he stopped and looked into the distance. A pack of five bloodthirsty hyaenas was making its way towards him purposefully!

Stricken with fear, the boy stood rooted to the spot.

Suddenly a single word, Arunachala!, arose and resonated in his heart.

At that very moment, a man appeared out of nowhere, and drove away the hyaenas with a staff.

Was it just coincidence that someone should suddenly appear at that lonely spot? Or was Existence preserving her favoured son, destined for higher things?

SRI RAMANA MAHARISHI

Another place where Rajasekaran enjoyed hours of contemplation and meditation was the Ramana Ashram at Thiruvannamalai. In the silent and serene environs of the ashram, poring over Ramana's writings, Rajasekaran discovered to his delight that the sense of oneness he felt with Arunachala was shared not only by Ramana, but by hundreds of spiritual men before him, over the centuries.

Rajasekaran's best-loved image of Bhagavan (above) Bhagavan's samadhi (final resting-place) at the ashram (below)