I thought he was a religious, god fearing man...🔗

It was at this time that Vinay Bharadwaj entered into young Lakshmi's life, and left her with scars that may never heal. She was 12, too young and naive to even hear the words like molestation, rape or abuse. She had barely stepped into her womanhood.

Vinay Bharadwaj was a sex pervert who portrayed himself as spiritual and helpful person. Vinay gradually started showing his demonic intentions when he started making sexual advances. He cunningly beguiled Lakshmi and simultaneously began drawing her trust, by making long phone late night calls with her. She shares her deep agony:

At the end of 2009, Vinay suddenly began making sexual advances towards me. He started groping me and touched me in places where I never wanted to be touched. My family still did not know that their daughter was being molested by a person they considered their friend.

One day after almost a month, he took me to his apartment in the evening. Little did I know that I had signed up for the worst day of my existence. I still remember the feeling, still feel the pain. He shrugged off all my excuses. But I didn't know how to make him stop. I felt a growing dread in the stomach that I tried to ignore. He didn't seem to hear and continued. I wish I had cried. Or screamed. Or loudly protested and thrashed and bit him until he left me alone. Instead, I lay there, numb, wishing fervently for it to be over. I was too numb to be repulsed by anything anymore. I kept wishing with everything I had to let it all be over soon. But soon wouldn't come soon enough. He asked if I was planning to tell everything to my mother and I replied I will. He tried to talk me out of it saying she wouldn't understand. I nodded, ready to promise anything if only he would let me out.

On my way home, he was his usual self, telling stories that amused people around me. I pretended to listen. He urged me to not tell anyone about his little treatment because they might misunderstand us, 'us', like we were partners in whatever happened. I know that wasn't the truth but I could never shake off the threat implied. If I were to tell somebody, wouldn't they blame me? His threat worked. I never told anyone."

He used Me as a Pawn in the Plot Against My Guru

It continued for over a year. He took her to his apartment multiple times and each time he assured her that he was deeply in love with her, however something did not feel right to her. She shares:

“In February of 2009, I had just turned 12, but it was this year that would be forever ingrained in my head when I was sexually abused and raped by Vinay Bharadwaj. Vinay called me on the phone at least 200 times. Many of the phone calls were happening late at night and it’s embarrassing to talk about what he had talked about... to share how gullible I was and how I was so innocent. But it took me a long time to stop blaming myself and understand that he was the one manipulating me. He was the one planting ideas into my head.

He taught me that the entire Hinduism is about worshipping the cosmic union between male and female and he associated enlightenment with sex and told me that orgasms were powerful paths to enlightenment. He asked me to read about Tantric practices. He twisted and turned around the truths of Hinduism just to justify his sick desire. And I didn’t know this then, but it was a far bigger reason.

One day, suddenly he said he will come and see me but I had to pack my things, and tell my parents that I am leaving. He asked me to write a letter to tell them what he and I did but to say that I did that with Swamiji. I was just heartbroken completely. It was at that time, I realised everything that he had been saying, everything that he had been doing, all the times he was cunningly saying ‘I love you’ or all the times he was saying that no one will understand our relationship, it wasn’t about the relationship. He was just planting ideas and I had completely fallen for it.”

I Finally Gathered Courage and Told My Parents

The incidents that followed were heartbreaking and terrifying. In the end, Lakshmi bravely told everything to her parents and together they decided to take legal action against Vinay. It came to light that, from the beginning of his contact with Lakshmi, Vinay was planning a conspiracy against her beloved Guru Paramahamsa Nithyananda and used her as an instrument. Throughout the criminal case that she filed, she was forced to tolerate Vinay’s defense which abused her relationship with her Guru, whom she saw as God.

I live with this trauma even today

She says, "I suffered panic attacks for a long time, overwhelmed by humiliation and a sense of being devalued. I still have trust issues and apprehension about having intimate relationships." She struggled with depression for many years.

However, thankfully she has the healing presence of her divine Guru in her life. She concludes, "I still find talking about the abuse the hardest part even to the people I hold most dear. However, I am not going to let it get the better of me in life."

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BgdDnXMelzU&feature=youtu.be]