I lived in constant fear of attack; my nights were spent awake in terror🔗

It was at this time, on 2nd of March 2010, the infamous fake video was released and the media continuously aired it, creating a scandal that never existed in reality. I experienced hatred in the eyes of nearby residents in Varanasi. Their opinions of me had changed overnight. I was no more a friendly monk; they started perceiving me as some kind of villain. They started spreading rumours about me. Sometimes their conversations would purposely be loud for me to know that I was not welcome in Varanasi anymore. I remained inside the Aadheenam (monastery complex) as much as I could. Listening to the horror of the extremist Hindu group attacks happening at other Aadheenams - attacks by petrol bombs, acid attacks, sexual harassment of women, sanyasis etc, gave me shivers and constant fear that I too could be attacked at any time. My nights were spent awake in terror. They could attack me when sleeping - so in my insecurity I kept vigil.