Chapter 3: Meeting my Master – August 9, 2003🔗

In stark comparison to the east coast, lifestyle in Oklahoma was more laid back. I felt that people at least had some time to wake up and smell the roses. When we moved to Oklahoma, Sree and Nithyanandi were aged 11 and 6 years respectively. They were going to school and we felt it is time not to worry about the Benz we always wanted or the million dollar home we dreamt about. We felt it was time to focus on the family.

Oklahoma City had a closely knit Indian community where people met each other quite often and also got involved with community activities. We had developed new friends several of whom are devotees of Swamiji. Life was going quite smoothly in Oklahoma. Ma Sachitananda had developed her own social circle and was busy with the children’s activities, driving them from place to place, and became a typical soccer mom. She seemed to enjoy her new found freedom, away from work. On Fridays and Saturdays we had a fairly hectic social calendar. It was either visiting someone’s home for dinner or having friends over to our home. Nothing really happened at these parties.

Now if I sit back and reflect on that life, we lived the so-called American dream – a good house, nice cars, a promising career, an OK social life. But somehow there was still this emptiness inside us that was developing. As Swamiji jokingly says, “If you are in your 40’s, successful and the depression of success has not yet set in, look carefully, there must be something seriously wrong!” He tells us that most people who are running behind material processions, when they sit back and reflect, realize they have everything one can hope for in the material world, yet they are still not happy. Only a small fraction of these people end up contemplating and introspecting on this... and so starts their spiritual journey.

My career in Oklahoma was going well in the corporation. I had global responsibility towards a business unit that was trying to transform itself. It was about trying to win the hearts and minds of employees to let them realize they can do it. Little did I realize then that I needed to first transform myself before I could transform the world around me. I was traveling all over the world working with diverse employees, trying to develop an operational strategy for the business unit in the manufacturing and supply chain functions. Yet when I was trying to look beyond my own personal or career gain I found other executives who felt I was invading their turf. Since most business problems tend to have solutions that are cross functional I had to stretch myself.

You are as much a doctor of human psychology when you want to be an effective manager. You need to understand what motivates people and why. You need to be sincere about change. If there is one area I would change, it is one of living by example with intense passion and compassion; it is one of understanding that the root causes of poor performance in corporations is, trying to keep one's private lives away from their personal problems and treating everyone as a machine. My experiences in the last five years have taught me that one cannot isolate corporate life from personal trials and tribulations. Unfortunately I find that due to legalities and the strong sense of individualism, and the need to give 'space', companies will continue to take much longer to transform themselves. I now know that if one can integrate both inner worlds and outer worlds, there will not only be immense wealth created in companies but there will also be significant improvement in the quality of the lives of employees.

My job for this Oklahoma-based company took me to Europe, Australia, America, and Africa. I was traveling over 60% of my time overseas. Most times I would leave home for days at a stretch – leave on a Sunday night and return home the following Friday. And when I was not traveling, it was long hours at work. I would typically leave home at 6 am, not even have time to sit down and have a decent breakfast. It was coffee and bagel in the car for breakfast so that I would not waste any time! Surely I was not waking up and smelling the roses.

There was deep rajas (aggressive restlessness) inside me to get so many things done at the same time. Now I know it was ego of the workplace. Also now I realize that I can be just as effective, or in my case, I am ten times as effective now. All that I had to do was allow my Master help me discover myself. I am hoping for all those professionals and executives out there, they discover that it is simply possible to do all this and more when you live an integrated lifestyle.

I also hope you will forgive me for saying this, but the day I dropped my analytical mind that constantly tried to analyze every little detail, and started being open, transparent and willing to learn from the master, there has been a quantum shift in my mental set up. This translated into a quantum shift in my physical, mental and emotional well being. This process took me longer than what is required. I now know that when Swamiji tells us that we can experience quantum spirituality by a simple decision, and that it happens instantly, it is the truth, since it happened to me. I also know for a fact that 99.999% of us are not ready to believe that this can happen to us because I too was one of them.

My Master has helped me immensely in that He is like a beacon of hope that constantly reminds us through His life and says, "Look! The path of personal transformation is like a jungle. You can navigate it by yourself, but why don't you follow the path I have traveled since I know I got there and so can you!"

As I indicated before, we were living comfortably, we had a nice family, a good home, good health, children were doing well, and the career was heading in the right direction. I was enjoying my global responsibilities professionally. What more could one ask for?

As we reflected on our lives I always wondered about the fragility of life. When I looked back at the incidents that happened in my life I realized that when death knocked at the door it will do so without a formal notice. I somehow started asking myself where we are running 100 miles an hour in all directions. I wondered and often fanaticized on a life that was much simpler, one where we cared for each other, where there was no need to prove to yourself, to your boss or to your corporation, where the children grew up in a pure space devoid of fantasies, peer pressure and the influences of the media. This is when we started looking into ourselves. Like most people who are beginning their spiritual journey, we started looking into spiritual books of various masters. I bought my first book on spirituality, Autobiography of a Yogi by Paramahamsa Yogananda in early 2003.

When we read the Autobiography of a Yogi, we felt that those who lived with Yogananda were blessed and extremely lucky. I felt that those who have lived around a living enlightened master were really blessed and lucky. However let me be honest, I had no clue what it really meant to transform one's life, and what it means to be living around an enlightened master. In fact my wife and I went to the extent of filling up our library with all spiritual books from Yogananda to P. D. Ouspenski. We went to the extent of purchasing several duplicate copies, just in case we both wanted to read the same book at the same time! But several books were hardly opened beyond page 5! This was the level of seeking in our lives at that time!

While we were very interested in understanding why we are here, where we were heading, why we have experienced the tragedies in life, etc, we were also quite engrossed in the day-to-day grind of life, so much so that we could not see the forest from the fires. Let me be very honest and tell you, the burning desire to seek the truth did not exist at that time. In fact I can go on to say that I had no clue of what seeking really was. There was inspiration or shall I say inquisitiveness to want to know the truth. But this did not translate into perspiration to go after it. Seeking the truth and spirituality was really a fantasy when we sat with ourselves quietly on weekends. But when Monday morning came, all of this was put aside and we got consumed in our lives, our careers, lives of our daughters, their educational needs and our social lives.

So in a nutshell I would characterize ourselves as a typical first generation immigrant family living in America, fairly successful in our professions, living the so-called American dream, with young children, and trying hard to hold on to and instill our culture and values that we inherited from our own parents and life experiences.

It would be accurate to describe us as those who really did not understand what spirituality was. Luckily, all the experiences we faced in our lives added a dimension of understanding that: 1. Money is not the most important aspect in one’s life 2. Life cannot be taken for granted 3. You can take a chance and go after what you believe in 4. A sense of yearning for what the purpose in life was. The reason I am describing this is there are many people today who are also going through their lives just as we have.

A lot of us have seen Swamiji in a discourse or attended is weekend meditation camp and felt inspired. But after a day, a week or a month goes by and we get back into our own lives, get caught up in our own world and then think to ourselves, “What that young Swami from India said was true, but this is not the time for me to jump into spirituality,” or “Oh, let me wait till the kids grow up and then I will jump in and discover myself,” or “I really want to discover myself, but what to do, my husband (or wife) will not support me in this endeavor.”

In our case somehow, all of this changed the moment we saw the Master. I cannot describe what happened or why this deep thirst for discovering ourselves has happened. It almost feels like the life experiences, the learning from these experiences, lie dormant inside us, inside every human being. I almost feel that these experiences were like a fuel that lay dormant inside us. When the Master came into our lives, all He had to do was to shower His grace on us and this lit the fire to discover ourselves. I really cannot logically describe even today why His grace was showered upon us, why this light was easily kindled in us, why the whole family was swept off our feet when we saw Him, why now the so-called American dream we were leading was not important to us anymore, why all of us wanted to be around Him, why nothing else other than the desire to serve Him mattered to us.

I do not question this anymore, because all that matters now is we are living in His abode, experiencing everyday miracles, with a deep sense of gratitude for what He has given us and a sense of understanding that this is the path that we always wanted to be in, but never knew it was so easy to have and experience. Somehow all I can think of is to say, “Swamiji, thank you, thank you, thank you for bestowing your grace on us.”

August 8, 2003 was a Friday. I distinctly remember it was a beautiful early summer day. I was just informed by the chairman of the company that he would like me to develop a strategic review of the business and operational strategy for a board presentation in the coming weeks. He said that he wanted me to develop a succinct story that can be articulated to the Board. In a nutshell I was being asked for my opinion, to present my vision and mission for the company. This was a big deal for anyone who is trying to climb up the corporate ladder. So as excited I was to start preparing for this presentation, my mind was racing in 100 directions on how I would like to share my views of the vision for our business unit and more importantly how I can market myself to the senior executives of the company and to the board. So let me tell you, meeting a Swami from India was really farthest from my mind.

I reached home around 7 pm that night. When I reached home there was no one home. Ma Sachitananda left a note for me on the refrigerator indicating that she was invited by one of our friends to meet a Swami from India who was visiting Oklahoma City. Writing notes to each other that we stuck on the refrigerator seemed to be the only way we communicated those days! With my travels and long hours at work, I did not get to see the family on weekdays. It seems quite strange now, but I was what I call a weekend Dad – I would only see and be able to talk to the kids on weekends, since they were asleep when I left home for work and were again asleep when I returned home....

Ma Sachitananda returned home around 9 pm and was quite excited. She said that she met a Swami and that I need to drop everything and attend a weekend meditation camp. I said to her, “What kind of a cruel joke is this?” The only time I meditated in my life was when I was in the second year of college and was initiated into TM – Transcendental Meditation. And besides, I told her that I cannot under any circumstances jeopardize the presentation I was going to make to the Chairman on Monday. I told her in no uncertain terms to leave me alone that weekend.

Ma Sachitananda told me that somehow she was quite drawn to this young Swami she met and received blessings from him. She told me I should not miss such an opportunity. I complained a bit, but luckily for me I felt, if she was so excited and inspired, let me figure out how I can complete the presentation that night. I also thought, if I am not happy with the presentation, I can take some time off from this meditation camp to do the final touches to the presentation! I spent all night that day until about 4 am finishing up the presentation. I was not 100% satisfied with the presentation, but I felt it was almost there.

The following morning, on a bright and beautiful Saturday, all of us got ready quickly and dropped the kids off to spend the weekend at my older daughter Nithyananda Sree’s friend’s place. There were no complaints from her side because her friend’s mother was also attending the course. This meant that both of them could be home alone and have a good time. Nithyanandi, who was only 6 years old, was quite happy to accompany her big sister. She was at an age when she was a constant sidekick to her big sister and loved to hang out with her. So we dropped them off and the three of us - Ma Sachitananda, Ma Jesusananda and myself (Ragini, my mother-in-law Swarnalatha and myself) arrived at the host family’s home where Swamiji was staying. It was about 8 am. About 12 people had decided to come and ‘check out’ this program being offered by this young Swami from India. All of us were waiting for im to start the program.

It was 9 am; there was no sign of this young Swami. Several of us were getting irritated. We had all gotten used to punctuality in America. In America, time meant money at work, and we carried this same mental set up outside work too. We were somehow continuing to behave like well oiled production machines even at our homes. Little did we know that the Master uses every technique and opportunity to break our mental conditioning. I know now that his meditation program had already started, even before seeing us. The Master had already started his surgery – he was already working on us by starting to break our mental conditionings.

At this point several of us were irritable. Someone said, “How can this Swami tell us to come bright and early at 8 am and that too on a weekend and still not show up even at 9 am?” Time passed and we were getting restless. Now I know the reason for this rajas, this restlessness - we cannot live alone with ourselves even for a moment since our minds are racing at 100 miles an hour thinking and worrying of things that we have no control of or things that are irrelevant. It was 9:30 am, still no sign of this Swami from India. Some of us started complaining that people from India never value time and that they need to feel sensitive about valuing our time!

It was 10 am and the restlessness seemed to have peaked by now. Just then, I started seeing from the corner of my eyes, someone in a saffron robe descend from the staircase. It was as if He was waiting for the pot to boil, and timed His arrival into our lives perfectly. He had a radiant face with sparkling eyes and a broad smile. He came down with His hands folded and acknowledged us.

The moment I saw him several noticeable things happened. There was a sudden calmness and stillness in me. It was as if all the frustrations and irritations simply vanished. It was quite incredible to experience this for the very first time in my life. I have never seen a situation where just by the presence of someone, the mind completely stills. Later I have realized all too well that this is the effect of the Master’s presence. Thousands feel this presence around the world.

During the early days of being associated with Swamiji we needed to be in His physical presence to feel this calming of the mind. Now, just the awareness of the presence is enough to have a similar effect, wherever we may be. It is fantastic to be physically near the Master, but somehow, with the growing intelligence and maturity, we are able to experience this state even in His physical absence.

Swamiji very beautifully described this to us one day. He said, “Do not reduce me to this six-foot Nithyananda. Living enlightened masters are absent in their presence and dead enlightened masters are present in their absence.” If you sit back and reflect on this profound truth you will start to appreciate His presence everywhere and in everything. There are so many pearls of wisdom that the master casually tells us. We never know when the next profound truth will be delivered.

The second profound experience (at that time I did not realize this and brushed it off as a stray thought of the mind) was there was a voice, really it was not even an audible voice, it was more of a deep thought that arose from my heart region. This thought or voice or whatever you want to call it simply said, “The Master has arrived.” I considered myself a fairly logical person. I was a scientist and researcher and then a person who resorted to facts and figures to come to a conclusion based on data and logical analysis of data. While I consider myself an emotional person by nature, I was also trained to be analytical as it relates to my profession. I wondered, how in the world can one describe the sudden calming of the mind and this voice emanating from the core of my being?

I was confused but somehow felt happy and in an upbeat mood from the moment I saw Him. The next thought even before the meditation camp began was, how can I be around this young Swami? How can I serve Him? It was really my ego working - I am sure that unconsciously I was thinking how this hot shot corporate guy can help this young Swami with spreading His teachings in the United States. Little did I realize that by allowing us to help Him, He was in fact creating a space for us to explore and explode in all directions. Nevertheless thoughts were rising in my mind. I want to jump in and be with Him full time. How can I make this happen? Who will pay my bills? Maybe I should wait till kids grow up?

Swamiji conducted His first meditation camp in USA in Oklahoma City. This was called Ananda Spurana Program (ASP, and now called Life Bliss Program Level 1). The program was based on cleansing and unblocking chakras or energy centers. Swamiji spoke beautifully on the seven chakras and their influences on various emotions. His clarity, intellect, sense of humor, ability to connect to anyone and everyone regardless of their cultural or ethnic background, was amazing. I felt, how can this young Swami who had never been to USA, had never studied English (Swamiji’s education was in His native mother tongue, Tamil) and just started speaking English, could effortlessly connect with our problems and challenges. How is he able to joke and laugh and relate with all of us so beautifully? Little did I know at that time the infinite nature of super conscious state of mind, or shall we say the mindless state!

As I began to travel with Swamiji, I realized that Swamiji, whenever he travels to new places or new countries, makes it a point to understand where the general consciousness of the society or people resides. He may occasionally browse through a magazine from that country while on the airplane or take a walk on the beach where He sees the people, their attitudes and demeanor, and gets a complete blueprint of where the people are suffering and stuck in their ways. It is quite amazing to then see how He delivers appropriate discourses or teachings for the specific audience. Even in a particular city you will see that depending on the audience coming to a discourse His message changes.

He shed more light on this process in a recent discourse. Swamiji says that all of us emit auras. There is a real science that correlates the aura of a person to the state of his mind and consciousness. Auras have been scientifically proven through techniques such as Kirlean photography. In fact, research in countries such as Russia indicated that diseases such as cancer can be diagnosed through Kirlean photography, even months before clinical diagnosis. Enlightened masters have the ability to get a sense of the collective consciousness of the groups attending the discourse by sensing the collective aura in the group, so they may address the needs of the group of people through their talks. However, Swamiji is very clear that the Masters do not intrude into people's private space in any manner through this.

I have now attended well over 200 satsangs where Swamiji delivered discourses formally. In every satsang, people have invariably come and told me that it felt as if Swamiji directly spoke to them individually and answered their questions even before they formally raised the question to Him. It is quite amazing to see this happen!

The two days of Ananda Spurana program (ASP or Life Bliss Program - LBP Level 1) went off like a breeze. We participated intensely in the meditations. Swamiji taught us techniques from various traditions – from Zen Buddhism, Tantra, Kashmir Shaivism, Christianity and Sufism. Just as I described above, we found that the message He delivered during the ASP meditation camp was sharp, to the point and He answered all our questions without our asking. During the breaks between the meditation programs all of us would compare notes and one common denominator in these conversations was that He seemed to be directly talking to me.

There were lots of experiences people shared during this ASP. We had the fortune of doing all the meditation programs personally conducted by Swamiji. These days due to the size and global nature of the mission, Swamiji is only able to conduct advanced level programs and let acharyas (teachers ordained and personally trained by Swamiji) conduct the classes.

There were powerful techniques from various traditions taught in the meditation program. During the first day of the program, Swamiji worked on lower level chakras or energy centers in the body and gave us an incredible clarity as to why these chakras are locked and how we can help unlock these chakras. He also gave us new and fresh insights into emotions, why we have them and how we can deal with these emotions. Once the intellectual clarity was provided, He gave us the experiential portion in the form of sharp meditation techniques.

During these discourses Swamiji gave numerous examples of how these emotions result in psychosomatic disorders which then translate into diseases. He explained to us that almost 80% of diseases have their origin in the blockage of chakras. For those who had specific ailments, Swamiji would often prescribe practice of specific techniques for 21 days to relieve and unblock the chakras. Those wanting to gain more insights into these programs can read the book, ‘Guaranteed Solutions’ written by Swamiji or can attend the LBP level 1 classes that are being held all over the world on a routine basis.

During the third eye (ajna chakra) meditation, the experiences were particularly intense. During this technique I saw the distinct image of an older looking rishi in the place of SwamijiIn case of my mother-in-law Ma Jesusananda, she had an intense darshan of Jesus during this meditation. After the meditation when Swamiji asked each of us to narrate their experiences, he told her, “Ma you were a Christian in your last birth and so He revealed himself to you.” Again I must say these incidents have to be experienced and to a non-believer, I apologize if these statements have disturbed you. However I would like to state that whatever I am writing here is the truth and it reflects the true experiences with the Master.

At the end of the second day after all the seven-chakra meditations were completed we had the energy darshan. Energy darshans are wonderful opportunities of experiencing the divine energy. The Master is a pure embodiment of super consciousness. It is out of His pure compassion for humanity that He comes down to the human experience level so that He can relate with us, interact with us, with the hope that we will allow Him to help us help ourselves. During energy darshan, touches our third eye so that the transmission of light could happen. We were blessed to have this divine touch. It was as though I had finally come home. The program ended around 6 pm in the evening. We took Swamiji’s blessings and quietly drove back home. These two days were like no other experience in all our lives.

Immediately after the meditation camp, Swamiji conducted two satsangs at the Hindu Temple in Oklahoma City. The discourses were held from 7 pm to 10 pm in the evenings. Word of this young Swamiji spread very quickly in this closely knit community. Swamiji spoke on energy centers to a packed audience at the Hindu temple. On Tuesday afternoon, we requested Swamiji to visit our home for paada puja (a custom in India to respectfully receive the Master into one’s home). We very much wanted Him to step into our house. All of us at home, including the children felt deeply connected to Swamiji. Swamiji came home along with Ayya (Sri Nithya Sadhananda, Swamiji’s personal secretary and his 2ⁿᵈ disciple), Amma (Ma Nithya Sadhananda, Swamiji's first disciple), Sri Nithya Sevananda (Palaniappan, Swamiji's Public Relations Officer) and Ma Nithyananda Priyamayi (Chitra Narang, a very early devotee of Swamiji from Bangalore) all of whom were part of the group that accompanied Swamiji. That afternoon I left work early and picked them up at the host family's home and brought Swamiji to our home. Swamiji before stepping into our home told me in the car, "Shiv, you will be my ambassador spreading my mission in the west."

We felt extremely happy that Swamiji stepped into our lives and into our home. We performed paada puja to honor and respect the Master. As it is customary in India, we wanted to offer a small monitory contribution to the divine mission. When Sevananda approached to ask Swamiji if he could accept the small gift, He smiled and said, "Why are you asking this question? They are my people and they will be with us." We felt truly blessed that all of us, including the children felt very connected to Swamiji the moment they saw Him.

After the two days of discourses, it was time for Swamiji to leave Oklahoma City and travel to the west coast. Discourses and satsangs were scheduled in San Jose, Los Angeles and San Diego. These discourses were organized by relatives of devotees who were involved with the mission in India. We went to see off Swamiji at the organizer's home on a Wednesday morning. Swamiji was very happy to see us. We took His blessings and He told us to start spreading His teachings. He assured us that He will come back to Oklahoma soon, and left for the west coast of USA.

Right after Swamiji left, a group of 20 to 25 people started a 21-day daily meditation program. A group of us got together and did the Dukkha Harana technique (technique for the mooladhara chakra). This is an incredibly powerful technique and Swamiji told us that doing this for 21 days will really help heal a lot of physical ailments. In my case it did wonders. I lost almost 6 kg by practicing this technique. All participants found a lot of relief not only in their physical health but started seeing a positive impact in their overall well being. We felt that meditation in a group environment was quite synergistic.

Swamiji told us that if a meditator meditating by himself creates one volt of energy, 100 people meditating together would collectively create 100 volts of energy and all 100 volts will be available to all. This was the power of group meditation. In fact He narrated to us several findings where large group of meditators practicing Transcendental Meditation (TM) meditated in various cities in USA. The documented evidence time and time again was that during this time there was a statistically significant drop in key crime indicators. This is a very well documented study conducted by Maharishi Mahesh Yogi's organization in the 70s and 80s.

Early days after meeting Swamiji were quite interesting. All of us at home meditated regularly. All of us who participated in Swamiji's program or those who attended His discourses at the Hindu Temple spoke of nothing but Swamiji when we met at social events. I am sure those who have experienced the master and his teachings for the first time will understand what I am writing here. Sometimes, unfortunately as in our case we may have taken this to the extreme and scared people away! But there was so much of self-discovery that was going on and so many experiences people had, we behaved like kids in a candy store!

The Master came, opened up this whole new world in us that we never knew existed and left. Every time we met in parties there was this infamous group of Nithyananda's devotees who would sit together and talk of nothing but their experiences with Swamiji. As Swamiji jokingly talks about this, we fit His description to the dot – this group of people would wear malas, always talk about Swami this, Swami that... We would almost scare people away. So for the reader out there, please do not repeat this performance. Instead, allow some breathing room for the other. Let them not be scared and miss the master altogether. While there is a humorous dimension to this, missing the Master is something too precious and too expensive.

Along with our meditation, Ma Jesusananda was having wonderful experiences which she was chronicling in her memoirs. Ma Sachitananda too was experiencing similar things. All of us felt that while we missed Master's physical form we always felt his presence. Nithyanandi (Rithi then), our six year old who was very close to her grandmother (she was raised from birth by her grandmother while both of us were very busy with our careers!) would often get up in the middle of the night and run to her grandmom's room and say, "Ammamma (thats how we call grandmom in Telugu) you know I just saw Swamiji in the house." There was a time when she woke up at 2 am and ran to her grandmom and shouted, "You know ammamma, Swamiji suddenly disappeared from His photo that is hanging on the wall."

Later we asked Swamiji what all of this meant and He said that this was the different expressions of the truth. Nithyanandi was not sent to day-care centers and was luckily not exposed to societal conditionings and met the Master too right away. He said that she is so pure that her being is just seeing the Master as a formless all pervading energy. He told us, after all I am just not this six-foot form and her purity allowed her to have my darshans and also see me and she feels me without a form.

Then there were occasions when we sat for hours together and Ma Jesusananda would describe all her experiences to us. She is a very introspective person who would spend hours together reading books or keep to herself. Even though she spent over 15 years with us, she would always give us space and room and made it a point not to be intrusive. She told us that there were times when she said she clearly heard footsteps of someone walking towards our puja room (worship room) and she had intensely felt Swamiji's presence then. She had several experiences of leaving her body and feeling her presence everywhere.

There was one occasion when she was reading the section about Mahavatar Babaji in the book, Autobiography of a Yogi, she suddenly felt His form appear right in front of her eyes. She chronicled several such events in her dairy and later, when Swamiji came back to Oklahoma asked Him about these incidents. Swamiji normally never answers such questions, but if it helps a sincere seeker or disciple, He will tell them the truth about their experience. He held her hand looked intensely for a moment and said, "Ma, let me tell you the truth. These experiences really happened to you. Don't ever think they are imaginations. Also, don't bother Ma, I will take care. Just relax and enjoy your life. Your job is over. You will not have any more births. So just relax and have fun!"

Now with all of these experiences happening around me, I for one never had any such experiences right away. However I felt good, I knew I was truly blessed to meet my Master and felt very connected to Him. I felt this is the greatest gift He has showered on me.

While I was continuing to work intensely in my job, there was a sense of peace and calmness. I was not shaken by events and incidents at work that would have normally caused stress. In fact one of the people who worked closely with me came up to me one day and he said, "Siva, you seemed to be very peaceful and not shaken up by anything these days. What is happening?" I told him about the Master and what we have experienced and of course introduced him to the Master.

Despite all this I felt that maybe I am missing some dimension by not being able to have the experiences like the others were having. So when Swamiji came back the next time I asked him why I am not able to have these experiences. I asked Swamiji whether this 'buffalo skin' was too thick to experience. He laughed and said, "Shiv, there are two ways to go by train from Bangalore to Mysore. One way is to open the windows and sit by the window seat and see all the beautiful fields, rivers and life surrounding you and happily make it to Mysore. The other way is to close the window and make the journey to Mysore. In either case you are going to Mysore. In both the travels you are going to reach Mysore. Believe me this is the truth. And one more thing, in the first journey, you run the risk of getting off at Ramnagara before reaching Mysore, thinking you have reached Mysore. But in the second path there is absolutely no way of missing reaching Mysore when you are on the train. As an individual, you are experiencing the later type of journey. Don't bother, you are on the train and I will take care."

Honestly, when Swamiji said this I intellectually understood what he was saying but I was yearning for experiences. Only later on, after living around the Master I began to feel the incredible experiences of being liberated from so many conditionings, inner fears, worries, attachments and living in an unclutched state. I could realize and experience what Swamiji said is the truth. I now know that, if He gave me the experience of traveling to Mysore with the window open may be I would have gotten off in Ramnagara thinking it was Mysore. I know the Master knows what is best for the being.

Often I see people seeking immediate gratification both in their spiritual journey or even when they come to Swamiji for healing or counseling. A lot of times when someone feels that their situation has not immediately changed, they simply leave Him and say, "Oh this Swami is not powerful," or "This healing thing does not work." I know for sure it always does and I have been witness to hundreds of miracles. However in this world of instant messaging and internet, we are looking for instant results.

A lot of times, as Swamiji told us, the being is intelligent enough to decide if and when it wants to be healed. There is time when the being wants to continue to experience a particular problem or condition for its own growth. In my own case when I was going through the journey of personal tragedies in life, sometimes I wondered, "Why me God?" But luckily His grace showered on me even before I met Him physically. Whenever these thoughts came there would be counteracting self healing thoughts which would say, "Look at so many others who do not even have food to eat. Aren't you more fortunate?" Now as I look back at every incident, Swamiji was there preparing me for this path right from my childhood. I know for those who are new to this, it may sound too mystical and hard to believe. But if one is patient and willing to understand the truth, it can be a very beautiful experience.