THE NEXT GENERATION🔗

‘All of our so-called bringing up of children only brings them down.’

Nithyananda

As I mentioned at the beginning of this book, we are all born into this world in such a pure, highly conscious and meditative state. We are received into the world in a yogic state. We are born in the state of yoga. So what happens to this state? Why do we not remain in this state? The answer is that this state is suppressed as we grow up by our family and society.

If you observe kids, they are so alive and bubbling. People ask me frequently, 'Master, how do we bring up our children?' I simply advise them to relax. They will grow up automatically. I further advise people not to bring children up at all. Actually, you can't even define this duty as 'bringing up'. All of our so-called bringing up really only brings them down. Our method of bringing up children simply brings them down from their blissful awareness or restful, deep ecstasy.

I have said many times before that the greatest loss to India has been the Gurukul system; the system whereby a child is allowed to evolve under the love and guidance of an Enlightened Master. In the earlier days of the Gurukul system, the parent's only responsibility was to give birth to the child. Actually, they did have one more responsibility and that was to hand over the child at an age as young as four to the Master.

How can a blind person lead another blind person? Only someone who is Buddha, who is awakened actually understands and has the capability to develop another Being. In the olden days, apart from the Gurukul system, it was possible for some parents to raise their own children. The only reason for that was because the parent's inner space was also pure.

Sometimes, the father and mother could be the guru for their children. They could undertake that role as their inner space was extremely pure. As long as we can maintain the quality of our inner space and maintain its purity, we also can be an inspiration for our children. We can help to inspire the next generation.

Yesterday I was listening to a beautiful discussion. It was about Indian parents in the United States. The problem discussed involved the issue of raising children in the west. It was a nice discussion and it went on smoothly.

Once the discussion was over, I contemplated on the issues they had analyzed. I came to the conclusion that it is ultimately the parents that need to be more responsible. They need to strive to maintain the quality of their inner space so that they can have the patience and intelligence to deal with their children.

Parents need to set an example for their children through their own lifestyle. Our children are not going to listen to our rules, our advice and our regulations on morality unless they see us abiding by these rules. Stories like, 'In those days in India, we used to live this way' or 'You are an Indian child or you are a Bharatiya Nari (the ideal woman)' are not going to help. The children are not going to listen and retain all of this.

Kids learn far better by example and are not going to learn just through listening. They acquire attributes from their parents. It is only through our own life, our own example that we can teach our kids, not through admonishment and punishment. Instead of being a trainer we must be a role model for our children.

When we return home from work, our inner space will inevitably be contaminated. During the day, there is so much unconscious activity going on in our mind and as a result we are left feeling physically and mentally fatigued. So, on returning home we simply just want to enter into tamas (inaction). Because we have been in rajas (action) throughout the entire day our tendency is to enter into tamas as soon as we return home. We are not inspiring by the end of the day and all our kids observe are our tired and sorry faces. We are left with no energy to spend quality time with our kids.

How can we expect them learn or listen to us when all they see are our tired, morose and depressing faces? They will observe us returning home, laying down on the couch and flicking through television channels all afternoon as a means to escape from our restless self. They will soak this in and automatically follow our example.

Question: I always keep reminding my children to behave well. I tell them that they should develop moral values, you shouldn't date, you are Indian, you can't live together yet, etc. I continuously keep telling them all of these things; however, since we reside in the USA and they are exposed to a culture different than India, it is proving increasingly more difficult for me. Eventually, they are just going to do what they want. Master, they say that we are old fashioned. What would be your advice regarding this?

Answer: Please understand, these morals we are referring to are such beautiful things and we shouldn't convey them as moralities. We should give them to our children as understanding. Advise them if they start dating too young, they will absorb too many fantasies. Too many fantasies will never allow them to live with anyone happily.

In Sanskrit, there is no equivalent word for 'divorce'. The reason being, in those days, we were not infused and bombarded with fantasies. When we are flooded with fantasies, it is impossible to live happily with anyone. Even if you get Miss World or Mister World, you can't live happily with them.

In India, if you read the survey reports, only one-percent of the population takes medicine for depression or medicine related to the mind. You know in the US what the statistics are in regards to this. I do not have to remind you. What is the reason for the outrageous statistics in the US? Additionally, what is the reason for 50 percent of parents in the US being single parents?

Simply there is too much fantasy.

Question: Master, I don't agree with those statistics for depression in India. I believe that there is just a lack of acceptance. In the United States, people at least accept they are depressed and take medication. There exists much more depression in India.

Answer: Depression? Where? In India?!

Please be very clear, I work with many villages in India and I can be sure that India is at least 10 times less depressed than any other country.

First of all, we can’t say that medicines are not available. In this modern day, there are numerous social and non-profit organizations that work to provide medicine and education in every village. Don’t believe everything the media has to say. Don’t believe by reading one press report that these villages have no means of education and medication to support depression.

I work with at least 8000 villages and our organization has direct representatives from these villages. I can assure you that every village has some non-profit organization or institution, at least, providing basic things.

Secondly, 50 percent of parents in the United States are single parents. Surely this is not the case in India. In the idea of Saptapadi (the Indian marriage system), once you take the Saptapadi vows, the only way you can escape the marriage is if one of you dies or takes Sannyas (renounces the material world). There is no other way of escaping the marriage. This is the way of life and it is possible because there is less fantasy. Too many fantasies will naturally disturb you and you will end up in depression.

Question: When we are raised and bought up in this country (USA), we teach our children what we think is right. How can we be sure that they will listen and understand?

Answer: We should take extra time to sit and talk with them. We should have a little patience and also intelligence to work with them. We should let go of that expectation that by simply telling them, they will obey our command.

Children are intelligent and these days there are more options, more possibilities and they will of course question. The best thing we can do is give them our ideas; however, the ideas should be given logically through our own experience and with a complete understanding on our part. Do not force any moralities on them and avoid giving them anything as a rule. If you do this, naturally you are simply giving them a rule, for them to break.

Question: Master, you are talking about seeking in a later stage of life. However, it is clear that children can also benefit from meditation.

Answer: Usually, people begin seeking at a later stage in life. I am not saying that you should start seeking later on. In fact, the earlier you start seeking, the better.

We should definitely give meditation to our children. We should give our wisdom and teach meditation to our kids, because it is their birthright. If we are Indian, it is mandatory to teach our children meditation. They have chosen us as parents expecting that we will give our great ancient wisdom to them. To teach children meditation we, of course, need patience and a little intelligence. First, we, ourselves, need to understand and internalize concepts clearly. Only then will we be able to share with and inspire our kids.

When people consider meditation, they usually associate it with sitting cross-legged in a corner with back pain and knee pain and eyes closed with the aim and associated frustration of trying to keep the mind quite. No. This is not meditation.

Meditation is a shift in our consciousness. It is being aware and present in every moment. Anything in our life can be a meditation but it just depends on how present and aware we are.

Meditation is our ability to be in the moment without any worry of the past of the future. Have you ever seen a small child looking guilty and worried about things that have happened in the past? Or do we ever see small children fantasizing or worrying about the future? No. This is proof of their state of meditation. Children are in the present. They are aware, they are uninhibited and they radiate bliss.

Children, as they grow up, will constantly be expressing this natural state of bliss. They are more or less in ecstasy. We can observe them spinning around, we can see them dancing and jumping around all over the place. They can laugh and giggle for no obvious reason at all. As adults, we suppress their joy. They get told 'don't spin you might hurt yourself, stop jumping around the house, what are you laughing at? Stop laughing!' We somehow have forgotten about this natural energy, this naturally uninhibited blissful state which we all expressed as a child and still have. It has however, been forgotten about due to all the suppression and conditioning we also received as a child. We suppress their joy constantly.

Children are already in meditation at every moment. They live each moment, in the moment and they enjoy. As a parent, our only responsibility is to allow them and encourage them to remain in this state. Just don't suppress them. We should never impose our seriousness on them. We

always want to make our children like us. If they are constantly giggling for no reason, it leaves us feeling uncomfortable. We tell them they have had enough laughter.

Children are so innocent and so pure. Every child is born innocent. And all that the child needs from their parents and the society is not knowledge, but a deepening of innocence.

Most of the meditations I prescribe for children relate to how they already express themselves at a young age. They twirl and whirl, they laugh, they express love and gratitude towards their bodies and they also are known to go around making nonsensical noises and sounds. It is not like we have to go out of our way to ensure they participate in these kinds of meditations. A lot of the time, they are expressing these meditations because meditation is our inherent nature and as a parent, it is our responsibility to become aware of their expression and simply encourage them.

‘Children are in the present. They are aware, they are uninhibited and they radiate bliss.’

Nithyananda

When we see kids spinning and spinning, whirling, more than often we tell them, ‘Stop being silly! You will get too dizzy, please stop, you might hurt yourself.’ All these things we say.

Never stop them. Allow them to express. Whirling is actually a centering meditation technique taken from Sufism. But if you’re worried about the children falling, just put a mattress down to break their fall or simply supervise them. Just allow them to enjoy what they are doing.

1) Ensure that you have an open space. The child must have enough space to move around.

2) Let the child whirl for as long as he can, even a half-hour to an hour. He can start out slowly and then build up speed over time. He will notice movement in his periphery but will feel a stillness within as if witnessing his action. Whirling should be anti clockwise.

3) When the whirling becomes so fast that he can’t stand upright his body will fall by itself. Young, pliable bodies should not get hurt, but to ensure his safety there can be bedding on the sides of the area so the child can break his fall on something soft. When the child stops whirling, he should keep his eyes closed and lie with the belly touching the ground and feel as if he has become one with the earth.

1) Do not interfere while children are whirling or try to stop them.

2) Whirling meditation should be avoided directly after a meal.

Laughter is a meditation. When you are in no–mind, you are in the present. Therefore, when you laugh, you are in the present because when you laugh, there can be no thoughts. At the same time we are completely unaware that we are performing a great spiritual practice!

Laughing is a healing meditation. It has the power to heal any person at the physical, mental, emotional or psychological levels. Science has actually caught on to the healing effects of laughter. In the west, there are a growing abundance of ‘laughter groups.’ The purpose of these groups is to allow people to heal their bodies and their minds through laughter. These groups meet in parks and uproariously laugh together as a group for 40 minutes. Little do they know, they are actually in meditation for these 40 minutes. They don’t realize they are expressing the highest spiritual quality, laughter.

We always think we need a reason to laugh. We don’t. Children can laugh for no reason. It is our inherent nature to express laughter and joy without a reason. However, we carry something that they don’t: our ego, our seriousness. We also want to make our children like us, serious. We suppress their happiness, their true nature.

The duration of a laughing meditation can be 21 minutes to 40 minutes.

The child should sit with his eyes closed and begin to laugh. At first if will be a bit of an effort. But soon real laughter will begin to bubble up inside. If nothing else, just the comic attempts at laughter will be enough to make the child really laugh! Once the laughter takes over, they should just let go. With practice they will find that they are able to sustain the laughter for longer and longer periods of time. The child should laugh as long as he can. The energy to keep laughing will surge up from inside. And, long after the child finishes laughing, the waves of laughter will still be there inside, just beneath the surface.

There are no other instructions. How can laughter come with more instructions? Laughter is an expression from your child's Being. Just allow them to express their nature. There are no rules. If they want to keep going after 21 or 40 minutes, allow them. There is really no time limit.

Manipuraka Shuddhi Kriya is a cathartic technique taken from Sufism and Christianity. This technique bypasses mental processes and roots out worries in their most basic form by using gibberish. This technique specifically targets the Manipuraka Chakra (navel center), the area where a lot of worry and heaviness is stored.

It is not uncommon to observe children practicing gibberish in everyday life. Children at times go around making nonsensical sounds. When the child shouts absolute gibberish during this meditation, it opens out the unconscious so they can be relieved of deep emotions such as depression and anger from negative thought patterns. When they speak in gibberish, they are more or less vomiting out suppressed negativity and experience a great inner peace.

Depression in young children is not common and most likely this results from their tendency to make nonsensical sounds. They are frequently eliminating any stored negativity. Without any particular intention, when children speak in gibberish, in their own little language, they are effectively maintaining the purity and quality of their inner space. They essentially empty their worries, and consequently project a worry free, care free and blissful nature. This nature needs to be encouraged as they grow older.

INSTRUCTIONS:

This technique is taken from ancient Christianity and Sufism.

1) The child should stand with his eyes closed and allow his awareness to rest on the navel region. All of his worries and negativities will start rising in his mind. Encourage the child to imagine himself in a conflict, such as when fighting with someone or when something goes wrong. He may feel a heaviness in the navel area as a result of anger or worry or general negativity.

2) For the next 21 minutes the child should talk loudly out loud in a language that he doesn't

know; just a nonsense language, gibberish, and try to convey his pain or problem to an imaginary person. Let this child throw out his anger without censor; screaming, crying, making animal sounds, throwing arms around, kicking, it's all okay. This meditation should be done totally, with all one's might.

3) At the end of 21 minutes, with the instruction 'stop', the child should immediately become quiet, and sit down in silence with the eyes closed and awareness on the navel region for the next 10 minutes. During this time, thoughts and sensations are just witnessed and not acted upon while the child sits quietly.

4) After 10 minutes of silence, the child is instructed to open his eyes very slowly.

This meditation should be done on an empty stomach.

Dancing is a powerful form of meditation! Both formal dance and free dance can be meditation techniques. Free dance, especially for children, is also a great cathartic technique. Here the idea is to loose oneself in the dance. Free dancing just means that there are no steps, no rules, nothing. Just let your body move as it pleases. Let the dance flow freely. We have all seen children move playfully and innocently with the rhythm of music. They naturally become part of the tremendous energy of dance.

1) With eyes closed, instruct the child to begin to dance. Let the child know that there are no rules or steps. Just let the body be loose. Don't let him be concerned with how he looks; no one will be watching! Encourage him to enter deeply into the dance and dance as fast and freely as possible. Let the child become the dance. Let the dance become him. Dance like this for 21 minutes.

2) At the end of 21 minutes there will be an instruction of 'stop' and wherever the child is they should immediately stop in whatever position they are in and just drop down on the floor. Just fall! Lie down. Be silent and still. In the sudden change from frantic motion to sudden stillness, the child will experience a moment of blankness, of no thoughts, just silence. After a few moments when thoughts begin to come into the mind, the child should just watch them, not fighting them, just remaining aware. This silence and peace will permeate the entire day.

‘Be aware of a lasting peace inside you, a great silence which remains with you after thoughts return and carry this peace, this silence with you throughout the day, and carry it into your sleep. Include everything in your Being. Don’t say, I am Not. Instead, say I am.’

Nithyananda