Should I Change Or Should I Accept?🔗

People ask me, 'What should I do, Swamiji? Should I start changing things or should I start accepting things?'

Understand, I have an important secret clue. It is a very beautiful technique to find out whether you need to change more things in your life or you need to start accepting more things in your life. There is an important clue; this is from Tantra.

In Tantra, they have dived deep so deep into the mind and consciousness. They have developed so many wonderful techniques. I can say, in Tantra they dived deep into the consciousness and did research and development for 10000 years. A big lineage of enlightened scientists, I can say 'saint-ists', did research and development and created techniques.

Understand this technique. Early morning, when you are out of your sleep, suppose you feel fresh, alive, and the waking state is so beautiful, but you felt your sleep was suffocating. Suppose you get up and feel, 'O God, I woke up! The sleep and dream was nightmarish! It was suffocating! I am so happy I am awake.' In this case, you need to express more shakti. It means so much of potential is there inside you which you have not expressed. Please understand, you are living a lazy life.

If you feel the other way, the moment you wake up, say the blood pressure goes up. You say, 'One more day! O God, I don't know why I wake up! Sleeping was such a wonderful space.' The Monday morning blues! I read that in USA, 33% of heart attacks happen on Monday mornings. The very pressure they have to go to their job blows them up!

If your pressure goes up the moment you wake up, and you feel the sleep was peaceful and wonderful, and in the waking state you feel pressured, disturbed, suffocated, suffering, then you need to practice acceptance. Understand, you are changing too many things in your life.

Please understand, if your waking state is more alive and fresh, if the dream state was suffocating, tensed, nightmarish, you need to change things. Your potential energy is not expressed; you are too lazy.

If your waking state is pressured, tensed; and the sleeping state was more peaceful, calm, relaxed, you need to practice acceptance. You are changing too many things. Now you need to relax, rest a bit. You need to accept.

The deep understanding of acceptance can happen when you realize that whatever you see and experience is because of your thought patterns. Whatever you see in the outer world, whether it is your health, body, mind, world, relationships, everything is because of your thought patterns.

A small story to show how experiences are changed through thought patterns:

Once an old man went to a neighboring village for some work. When he came back, from a distance he saw his house on fire. He started shouting and crying. He had three sons. One son rushed to him and said, 'Father, don't worry. Don't you remember yesterday you sold that house?' The old man suddenly stood up, wiped his tears saying, 'Oh yes, yes, yes! I remember'. And he was completely relaxed.

In a few minutes, his second son ran towards him and said, ‘Father it is true we sold yesterday, but still we have not got the money’. Then again the old man fell and started crying, ‘Oh my house is on fire, please help! There is nobody to save me, is there anybody to help?’

After few minutes, the third son came, ‘No, no, don’t worry father, just today morning I took the money and deposited in the bank, the other brothers don’t know. It is not our house’. Then immediately the old man sat up again, wiped his tears, ‘Thank God, everything is okay’.

See, the same situation, same person, one moment he is feeling the deep suffering and agony. The other moment, he is completely relaxed, settled. Thought patterns play a major role in how we experience life.

People ask me ‘Swamiji, do you mean to say we should not cry in situations like this? Somebody’s house is on fire, how can we be without crying? I can’t be that insensitive, especially when it comes to the death of near and dear ones or losing the love of a near and dear one. In these kind of situations I can’t be so insensitive’.

Understand, it is a very subtle truth you need to understand. One is accepting the situation. Another one is accepting the response happening in your inner space. There is a beautiful Zen story:

There was a great master. His disciple was also an enlightened master, Suzuki. When Suzuki’s master passed away, Suzuki started crying.

All the other disciples came and asked, ‘Master, what is this? You are an enlightened being, how can you cry like this? How can you weep? ‘

Then Suzuki said, ‘If an enlightened person should not cry, get lost! I am not interested in your enlightenment. I can’t be so insensitive to this situation. I am crying because I miss his physical presence. He can never leave me and I can never leave him because he became me and I became him. That is different. But, physically I miss him. I miss his graceful actions and his beautiful leela, conscious play; that is why I am crying’.

Then another one disciple asked, ‘Then what about the teaching which you were giving all these years: accept what is happening, tathaata? What has happened to the teaching? Have you taught us without you experiencing?’

Please understand, it is a very beautiful truth. Just understanding this can give you a very strong click. Suzuki beautifully explains that there are two levels of acceptance. One is accepting whatever is outside, the situation. Accepting the situation, surrendering to what is this moment, surrendering to the now. When surrendering to the now happens, that does not mean you will be insensitive.

For example, this moment, when the master is dead, he is no more in the body, it is not that he will be insensitive. It can create strong emotions in you. Accepting that also, acceptance in the inner level, is the second level.

See, usually what do we do? We try to accept the situation in the outer world. Then immediately we have a scale, ‘If I accept, I should be behaving like this in the inner world.’ We don’t have acceptance in the inner world. We have a scale about the inner world, ‘If I accept this situation, I should be peaceful, collective, calm, restful.’

When we accept just the outer world, it means we are very moral. We are conscience-based but not consciousness-based. There is a big difference between just accepting the outer world happening and accepting the outer and inner world happenings.

Acceptance does not mean just accepting the outer world. Usually we have this idea, ‘If I accept the situation in the outer world, immediately I should become calm, quiet, relaxed, restful. I should not have any agitation. I should not have any irritation. I should not have any reaction.’ That means that we are not accepting the inner world.

Surrendering to the now means accepting the outer world and the response which is happening in the inner world.

Suzuki throws an important light on acceptance, ‘So I have accepted the master has left the body. In the same way I have accepted the response that is happening in me - the pain, the suffering, the separation. I have accepted that also’. This is the complete acceptance.

Just external acceptance is very easy because you anyways have to accept. And external acceptance is taught as a moral value from the beginning to all of us. But internal acceptance is not needed. Not only that, you can hide it. Externally if you don’t accept, everybody will know. But internally if you don’t accept nobody will know! Just accepting externally and playing the game is a beautiful ego game. You can pose to everybody ‘See how cool I am, how calm I am, how integrated I am!’

You should accept in both levels, ‘I accept the outer world situations and I accept the response of the outer world situation in my inner situation, in my inner space. I accept externally and internally.’ Then suddenly you will see you will be unclutched.