How to Seek?🔗

Intensity is the deep yearning, the seeking for the Ultimate, enlightenment. The next question comes, 'How to start seeking?' You don't need any technique. Please understand, you don't need any technique. Just the intense feeling, 'I should be awakened,' 'I should be fulfilled,' 'I should achieve that fourth state,' that intense feeling is more than enough.

With that intense feeling, whatever you do, even your walking, talking, sitting, eating, everything will become a meditation technique. Without that intensity, whatever you do, even if you do meditation, it will be a ritual.

See, without that intensity, seeking, even if you do meditation, it will be a ritual. With intensity, even your walking, talking, sitting, eating, everything will become a technique. Really feeling that it is your life, without it you cannot live, is seeking.

The intensity of seeking is what is most important in realizing the Ultimate. To realize enlightenment, it needs to be your first priority. It cannot be another nice-to-have thing that you can showcase!

Ramakrishna says very beautifully, 'If your head is on fire, will you think, "O this TV serial I never missed. Let me see this serial and then I will go and put off the fire"?'

Just as putting out the fire will be your topmost priority, so also to be a true and sincere seeker, enlightenment needs to be your topmost priority. The curious questions need to transform into a burning quest. Only then all your energies, all your faculties, all your energies will integrate to single-pointedly focus on the single aim of realizing the Ultimate.

Be very clear, there cannot be a 'balance' between desire and seeking. Both desire and seeking cannot coexist. Living with desire is working to satisfy the senses, enjoying the sense pleasures, which can never lead to fulfillment. Living with seeking is working to go beyond desire to realize the ultimate eternal bliss, which is beyond the temporary happiness provided by desire and the senses.

With intensity, the whole body gets tuned to a different energy. You will then be able to use the senses and body in a much better way. You can do more things than what you were previously doing through your body.

Whatever you do will become meditation. Whatever you do will become fulfillment. Whatever you do will lead you to that intense awareness or the ultimate enlightenment.

The urge should become urgent. The question should become quest.

All you need is intense seeking. Understand, I can say the essence of human life is enlightenment. Till you achieve it, you need intense seeking, that's all. Feeling strongly suffocated with what you are and feeling strongly to be awakened, is seeking.

The only gap between you and enlightenment is not seeking, that's all. If seeking happens, this moment fulfillment will happen. See, the moment you feel the suffocation in your dream and want to wake up, the next moment you wake up. In the same way, the moment you start feeling the intense seeking, and look inside, you will wake up, that's all. Nothing else is needed.

Somebody goes to Buddha and asks, 'Master, you know fulfillment is the ultimate gift. And you can give it to anybody. Why don't you give it to everybody, to the whole world?'

Buddha says, 'I can't give it to everybody. Whoever wants, bring them; I will give.'

The person goes all around the village, asking people who wants enlightenment. He comes back in the evening. Buddha asks, 'How many people wanted enlightenment? Please bring them. I will give.'

The person says, 'Only two people wanted.' Buddha asks, 'At least bring those two people. Where are they?'

He says, 'No, no. They are not interested to come all the way from there to here. If you send it to their home, they can have it.'

The intensity of seeking is what is most important in realizing the Ultimate. To realize enlightenment, it needs to be your first priority. It cannot be another nice-to-have thing that you can showcase!

If you create that intensity, easily you can get enlightened in this moment. All you need is intensity. There is no technique needed.

Please understand, I am completely opening up the truth and telling you. Technique is for the people who don't have intensity. You may say, 'Today morning only you gave us a technique.' I gave you the technique, that is true. It is the first level. If you don't have intensity, at least do the technique.

But I am saying the ultimate truth to you now. If you have the seeking, seeking itself is the technique. It completely reorganizes your whole energy.

The very seeking is independently intelligent to lead you to enlightenment. You don't need anything else, just intense seeking, the intense feeling for the fulfillment. Intense prayer for fulfillment is enough to awaken you this moment.

Ramakrishna Paramahamsa very beautifully describes, 'How much a miser yearns for money, how a beloved feels for the other when strongly in love, and how a child feels for the mother - you don't even have to have the same strong feeling connection to seeking; even if you have 1/10 of it towards seeking, you will be awakened.'

You can see these misers how they keep their money under the pillow, under the cot! Everyday they will take it out and count again and again. They know nobody came inside the room. But still they will be counting.

One of my devotees is a bank manager; he told me, 'Swamiji, I don't know the secret: even though I know the money is not mine and it is the bank's, but I never feel tired by counting the cash.' It is like an addiction.

How a miser feels connected to money and how you feel connected to your beloved when you are in love, and how a child feels connected to the mother, in these three, if you can direct 10% of the strong feeling connection of any one towards seeking, towards fulfillment, you will be awakened.

It is just feeling suffocated being inside this body and the five senses.

We have the next question: Beloved is tangible, money is tangible, mother is tangible. We can start feeling connected. But enlightenment is not tangible. The feeling of fulfillment is not tangible. How can I feel connected for it?

Understand, but unfulfillment is tangible; is it not? So just feel you have to come out of it. You don't have to visualize positive fulfillment. But you can always visualize coming out of what is. That strong seeking can be there. That strong feeling can be there. That is enough.

You may not be able to visualize how things will be after enlightenment. But you can visualize how things are before enlightenment. You can strongly feel that you should come out of this. That seeking, that yearning is more than enough.

See, all of you are aware of the present. So you may not be able to say ‘iti, iti’ – this is enlightenment. But you can say, ‘This is not, this is not’. You know which is not. So you can always say, ‘Let me go beyond this.’ That strong feeling, that strong intensity, that strong seeking can be there. Not only that, once in a while, rarely, when you are in the Master’s presence or when you go through Energy Darshan, or sometimes rarely with nature like when you are sitting and seeing the sunset, you too experience the glimpse of fulfillment.

You too feel, ‘God! This is the moment of life. My life is worthy just for this moment.’ Without that feeling happening once in a while, you won’t continue to live. Otherwise, what for should you live?

Why do we always remember the painful incidents in life? Do you remember joyful incidents with the same intensity as you remember the painful ones? You too experience moments of bliss. The big problem is you forget.

See, when man walks on the sand, he leaves footprints. But when the bird flies over the earth, it doesn't leave footprints. All your sufferings leave their footprints in your mind; you can remember and recall.

The mind thrives on pain, dilemma and suffering. So the mind will always store in stronger intensity and depth, the painful incidents of life.

When you give strength to the painful incidents, you actually get a subtle ego boost at handling so many troubles and suffering in life.

Fulfillment on the other hand doesn’t leave behind its memory. Fulfillment doesn’t leave any imprint or engram in us. Fulfillment is the gap between suffering. The mind can’t remember and cherish the gaps. That is why you think there was no fulfillment. No! There was fulfillment; sometimes you too have a glimpse. Only then you continue to live. Otherwise why to live?

The mind does not store in depth the happy situation and emotions. So we don’t even remember the situations where we experienced fulfillment. It is just a vague memory because the mind does not get strengthened with fulfillment.

When you are happy and fulfilled, you don't have a solid identity. You are in tune with, one with Existence. So your identity dissolves in Existence. But that means the mind is not in control of you as it is now. So constantly it drives you towards ego and suffering.

Have you seen how children are so total and fulfilled in themselves? Whatever they do, be it playing, just moving their hands and legs or seeing any object like a flower, they are complete within themselves. We also were like them when we were children. Then as we grow up, why do we lose that fulfillment? Because as the child grows up, around the age of ten or eleven, slowly the feeling of his or her individual identity starts setting in. When the separation from Existence starts happening and the false illusion of an independent existence starts happening, the awareness and experience of innate fulfillment starts fading.

Please be very clear, if there were no fulfilled moments in your life, by now you would have committed suicide! There would have been no reason for you to be alive if you had not experienced moments of fulfillment. The only thing is the mind doesn’t allow you to remember and recall those experiences of fulfillment.

The other problem is, in most of our lives, fulfillment happens by accident. So we don’t know the science, the chemistry of fulfillment. Bringing the fulfilled feeling to your consciousness, cherishing it and relaxing into it is what is the ultimate spiritual truth or science.

Kalpataru is all about sharing this chemistry of fulfillment.

So understand, decide that intensely you will awaken the yearning, seeking. Nothing else needs to be done. All you need to do is just feel, ‘I should become enlightened. I should have that fulfillment. I should go beyond this state. I should go to the ultimate state. I should achieve my peak. I should see the fulfillment in me.’

And once upon a time, you had. That is why you even think of fulfillment. If you never had, why will you think about it? Like in the case of health, because you had health, if you have a headache you want to come out of it. In the same way, the moment you want to come out of this situation, it means at some time you experienced fulfillment.

So be very clear, you can’t say, ‘I never had fulfillment.’ The very knowing about unfulfillment proves that there is fulfillment. Sometimes, you do see the glimpse. So the strong feeling connection to achieve fulfillment, to experience fulfillment is what I call the ultimate technique.

People again and again ask, ‘How to create that seeking?’ Nothing, just create a strong will, ‘I should become fulfilled.’ Actually if you don’t believe any higher force like guru or God, create a strong will. If you believe a higher force, create a strong prayer.

Strong will always becomes a strong prayer. Strong prayer always creates a strong will. ‘Let me become fulfilled’ if it is towards your being, it is a will. If it is towards a higher being, it is a prayer. Understand, ‘Let me become fulfilled’, if you are telling to yourself, it is a will. Sometimes you feel telling to yourself is not working. Then you tell higher beings like guru or God. That is called prayer.

You can see in the life of enlightened master Buddha as to how he became enlightened. Buddha had been trying various kinds of spiritual practices for over twelve years but he had not been able to realize the Ultimate. One day, he decided, even if the body dries up here, I will not move out of this place unless I become enlightened. The moment he made this strong sankalpa or vow to wait eternally for enlightenment, within three seconds, he became enlightened!

By nature, whenever you take up anything, whenever you try to exert your will or strong decision, the mind will tease you saying, ‘Eh! How are you going to be successful in this? How many times you have tried…! Do you think you will succeed this time? Do you think you are capable…?’ The mind is like a dog talking at an elephant walking!

It starts as a will, ‘Let me achieve fulfillment.’ At this time, you have to hold on to the will because your own mind doesn’t believe in your sankalpa or will. As the will grows stronger, slowly you realize that there is a life force much bigger than you that is running you as well as the whole universe. The deep feeling of connection or bhakti starts happening towards this powerful and compassionate Existence. And slowly the will becomes prayer.

If the will is between you and you, it is called sankalpa. If the will is between you and the divine, it is called prayer. It should start as sankalpa and end as prayer. If the end is not as prayer, it means the fulfillment has not happened. If it does not start as sankalpa, it means you have no confidence that you can achieve. So decide this moment, that the fulfillment has to happen in you.

A real incident from my life:

I was at Manikarnika Ghat during my wandering days. Manikarnika Ghat is a cremation place in Varanasi where continuously the funeral pyre has been lit for hundreds of years. Day and night, dead bodies are burnt there.

I was watching the cremation of so many bodies when I felt, everyday I am seeing death, then why am I not able to experience the internal psychological death? Understand, I am not talking about the physical death; I am talking about the psychological death. If you experience psychological death, suddenly you will see you are enlightened.

Then I decided, either this body should die and I should experience death or I should have the death experience by meditation. I decided I will sit and meditate on death till I have the death experience.

Be very clear, your mind knows all your games. It knows how many times you cheated by breaking your own will. It knows how many times you changed, altered, found the fine print! For your own will, you have a fine print below! After two to three hours, when you are tired, you read the fine print and say, ‘It is ok. I can relax.’

I did not believe myself. But somehow the will was very strong. One day was over. Second day also was gone. I had no food, no sleep. I did not get up at all. On the third day, the whole body was practically frozen because of pain. The body wanted to move but I said, no, there is no question of moving. If you sit continuously without moving, the whole body will be frozen with pain.

Suddenly my whole being realized I am really serious about my will. Suddenly my whole being realized I am going to do it. I myself got convinced about my will power. I myself realized I am going to sit. First time when I sat, my mind did not agree, ‘Alright! Let’s see. Struggle how much you can. After all you are a good person struggling for the last ten years. Try once more, nothing wrong in trying!’ Next day morning, it felt little sympathetic, ‘He is really trying, struggling.’ Third day noon, it got completely convinced that I am going to do it.

The power which was resisting lost its hold on the consciousness. The constant doubt which was saying, ‘No, no, no, once he is tired he will get up. Once he is hungry he will get up and go for food; relax,’ that part died. Suddenly my own being got so strongly convinced that I am going to sit.

Still I remember very clearly, one thought came, ‘I am going to sit eternally, forever.’ The moment I decided forever, the mind stopped moving in a linear way. See, if you say you will do something ‘for a long time’, your mind will say, ‘What do you mean by long time? How many years, come on tell me.’ The moment I say, ‘Alright, let me sit for ten years,’ then it will be waiting, ‘Ok, ten years let us sit.’ After ten years it can come out. Just because that hope is there, it will not fall into unconsciousness.

It will continue to retain its identity because it knows after ten years, it can come back and play its game. The hope is there because the idea of time is created by the mind. It is like you create a track of steel and a train of steel. The steel train moves on the steel track. So, since the mind created time, the mind can be alive for however long time. It knows, ‘It is my own track. Let me travel. Let me move.’

But the moment I decided to sit eternally, the mind lost its grip over time. And it knew, ‘I think he really means what he is thinking.’ The moment you give that confidence to the mind that you are going to do it eternally, suddenly it gets shaken, it gets frightened and it comes back to the present moment. Because it knows you are going to do this forever.

See, your mind exists only with this one idea, it tolerates anything if it knows that is going to end. It has the ability to tolerate anything and survive anything if it knows that action is going to end. It can be any action, any idea. Any meditation, any technique, if it knows it is going to end, it will survive, it will live through.

Only when you give the clarity it is going to be forever, it can end. That is why in the Indian tradition, whether it is marriage or sannyas, it is eternal, forever. Once you marry, it is forever. Once you take sannyas, it is forever. Then the mind will stop playing its games.

See, the moment you have the freedom, ‘Anyhow, I am going to divorce. Why tomorrow? Why not today?’ Always you will think why postpone. But if you know this is going to be your life forever, then you know anyhow you have to live. You will see how you can work it out.

So your idea about the future plays a major role on your life in the present, on your action in the present. If you know that this is your life, your mind starts getting settled and adjusted with this mental setup. Even if there is something wrong, you feel, you have to start healing and respecting.

The idea you carry about yourself in your mind is very important. That is going to decide about your action. The idea which you have about your body and mind is the best friend or worst enemy for you. If you have the right idea about your body and mind, that is the best friend for you. If you have the wrong idea about your body and mind, that is the worst enemy for you. I have seen various types of cultures and civilizations. The kids who are given the right understanding about the body and mind, not only live long, but they also live happily.

Your idea about the future creates miracles inside the physical body. The yogi from whom I learnt yoga, I have seen him display all kinds of miraculous powers. Because he was very clear, till he achieved those powers, he would practice.

So what does the mind do? Your mind is intelligent, it can express all powers. It immediately decides, ‘O, this person is going to torture me with the practice till I reveal the powers to him. Better let me give now itself!’ It tries to play with you without giving the power and tries to break the practice. If you give the strong idea to your mind, you are going to practice till it gives you the power, suddenly it gives in.

The moment I was able to convince myself I am going to sit, my whole being was completely convinced. I could see very clearly, from the root of the spine, the pain spreading all over the body. Excruciating pain, requesting me, ‘Please move the body little bit and adjust.’ I was sitting for two and half days. And I did not even know that two and half days had passed. Only later on I calculated. I just decided, who cares about time? I am going to sit, that’s all. My backbone was requesting, ‘Please adjust the legs a bit, please move the hands a bit so the blood flow can happen. At least let me see if I am alive or not!’ But I could see my will, ‘I am going to sit.’

The moment that strong will said I am going to sit, internally when the conviction landed on my being, I could see very clearly that pain which was there all over the body in every joint and in every nerve and in the whole body slowly started disappearing. The moment it learnt the practice is going to be eternal, the mind started withdrawing. It decided, ‘Now I cannot survive, now I cannot stand.’ It came to the present moment, ‘Alright, I will cooperate with you’ and it dissolved.

See, the mind thrives on change or hope for change. So any technique, any practice you want to do, decide you are going to do forever. For example, take the technique of unclutching. Decide, whatever may happen, I am going to unclutch forever. You will unclutch now. That moment is what I call enlightenment.

Somebody once asked me, ‘How do I get enlightenment? I want to…real bad and urgently.’

I tell you, just this very feeling is enough to make you get enlightened. Don’t bother about anything else. Only thing needed is that it is true and not just a word. Just look into yourself: the way you feel, it should not be just a question. It should be a quest.

Understand question is word. Quest is a feeling. These lines, ‘How do I get enlightenment? I want to: real bad and urgently,’ If they are a quest in you, if this question has come out as a deep quest, then you don’t need anything. Just boil. Let the whole being burn with this quest. That’s enough. Nothing else needs to be done. Let this boiling be intense. Allow this boiling. Allow this burning. Allow this intensity. Allow this urgency. Let the urge become urgent. Let the question become a quest. Let it just eat your ego. So the quest happens to you by divine grace.

People ask me, ‘Swamiji, have you been enlightened by the divine grace or by your effort or by your quest?’ I tell them, you having the quest is the first sign that you are having the divine grace. Unless you have the divine grace, you will not have the quest.

Understand, this quest or seeking is like a seed. It is like a seed feeling suffocated inside the shell. See, the life which is inside the seed, unless it feels suffocated inside the shell, won’t open up and become a tree. The moment the seed starts feeling that it should open up, the seeking, feeling the urgency and quest to open up to become a tree, it means already the tree inside the seed has started expressing itself.

If you are feeling that you should get enlightened, the Buddha in you has opened his eyes. The Buddha in you has started waking up. All you need to do is open your eyes. Allow this seeking. From morning till night let it boil, let it create a deep dissatisfaction in you, let it swallow all your depressions. In life you may have so many other depressions and sufferings; all those sufferings will be swallowed by this one suffering.

The great master Ramana Maharishi, who lived in South India, used to say that the first seeking is like the stick used to burn the dead bodies. In India, dead bodies are burnt with a stick. They use only stick to burn the dead bodies properly. So after burning, they throw this stick also in the same fire. In the same way, your seeking should be like this stick. It should burn all the other desires of you in this world and along with this, the seeking desire also will be put in the same fire and it will be burnt. A beautiful Zen story:

A Zen student was intensely studying under her master but she was not able to experience true meditation for a very long time.

One full moon night, she was carrying a bucket of water suspended on a bamboo stick. She saw the reflection of the moon in the bucket. Suddenly, the bamboo broke.

The water fell out of the bucket. The reflection of the moon disappeared and so did her ego.

When the seeking is intense, it will remove the juice from your ego. The green grass becomes like a haystack. Just a match is enough to burn the whole haystack down. The Ultimate can happen in a split second through a simple happening.

So understand, let this seeking, let this quest, let this seeking burn all your other sufferings, all your other depressions, all your other desires, all your other concerns about life. Let it happen and suddenly you will see that this seeking disappears. When the seeking disappears, you are enlightened. You have achieved what you are seeking.

The physical body is that which you are carrying now, you can feel now, which is made out of flesh and bone. Mental body or the dream body is the body made of all your imaginations put together. The boundary of the physical body ends at your skin. But the boundary of the mental body ends at the limit where you can imagine. Please understand, where the mental body ends you don’t even know because there is no end to the imagination.

Bring awareness to the extent you can imagine. It is a very subtle technical truth. When you bring awareness to the physical body, it gets healed. When you bring awareness to the mental body, it gets healed.

How will we bring our awareness to the mental boundary? Slowly, slowly, slowly, expand your visualization. For example, first visualize you inside your body. Then visualize this whole area is inside your body. It means your imagination is expanding. Then slowly expand and feel this whole city is inside your body. Expand your imagination to the next level; feel this whole country is inside you. Expand the imagination; feel this whole earth is inside you. Expand the imagination, bringing more and more awareness to your imagination part, bringing more and more awareness to your dreaming part.

See, inside you there are different parts. One is this physical body. The other one is the dream body which you experience in the dream state. The third is the deep sleep. I am trying to expand you step by step. Bring more awareness to your dream body, to your mental body.

Mental body is the one which you experience during the dream state. Try to make the mental body sharper, clearer, more aware, more expanded. Awakening the ability to imagine, bringing more awareness to your imagination, that is what we are trying to achieve through this technique or process.

In the last process, we tried to bring more awareness to the waking state, more energy to the waking state, by awakening the kundalini shakti which is in the physical body. Now we are trying to bring more awareness to the dream body. To bring more awareness to the deep sleep body, you need initiation. Only Master can initiate or the Energy Darshan can work on the deep sleep body.

Now we will work on the dream body by expanding our imagination beyond our imagination.

It is a wonderful process. First it will be easy for you to imagine this whole room in your inner space. Then visualize this whole street is inside your inner space. Then visualize the city; whatever you know about the city is part of you. Then expand, visualize whatever you know as this country, as part of you. Then expand; whatever you know as this planet is part of you. Then expand; whatever you know as the solar system is part of you. Then expand; whatever you know as the universe is part of you. Literally I am asking you to experience ‘Aham Brahmasmi – I am the Whole.’

See, in between, your imagination may just drop and you will be there in the deep silence, it is ok. As long as the imagination goes, expand, expand and expand. So your whole dream state is flooded with awareness. Your whole dream state is filled with your restful awareness. It is a very powerful technique. Even though you may not be able to logically connect with this technique, go through this. You will not have nightmares; your dreams will become dreams with awareness. Even though you are dreaming, you will be very clear you are dreaming. You will not have nightmares; you will not be disturbed; you will not be overpowered by your dreams.

Your mental body will become very powerful; your visualizations will become very powerful. It will sharpen your visualization. That is the result we will try to achieve through this.

This is a very powerful technique from the Shiva Sutras.

The aphorism or sutra says,

Die into the infinite void where you are no more

Moving beyond the senses into Shiva Consciousness.

This technique is called the Shanmukhi Mudra. As it will be difficult to maintain this posture for a long time, you may sit on the ground and support your hands on a chair to maintain comfort. You can put a chair in front of you and turn it facing towards your side to support your hand. Alternatively, you may sit in a chair and support your hands using the chair in front of you. By supporting your hands on a chair, you will avoid shoulder ache.

This technique closes the doorways to your senses. This should only be practised by people who have some experience in meditation. As in all meditations sit comfortably cross legged or in a chair with back, neck and head in one vertical line.

When you are in Shanmukhi Mudra, described below, the energy flow to the outside world through the seven openings of the face (two ears, two eyes, two nostrils and one mouth) is blocked and turned inwards. Your hands are very powerful. The energy centers in the hands are so powerful that it can stop the energy flow, turn it into a concentrated beam of energy and direct it towards the ajna chakra or third eye.

Normally our breath goes in and out chaotically. By closing the nostrils partially with your fingers, you can reduce the air flow and balance it.

The Shanmukhi Mudra firstly stops the energy flow towards outside.

Secondly, we are turning the senses inwards.

Thirdly, we concentrate them towards the third eye.

If you wear spectacles, remove them. Place your fingers as follows:

Thumbs pressing down on the short ear lobes till you hear a humming sound.

Index fingers lightly on both the eyes.

Middle fingers on the bridge of the nose.

Ring fingers lightly under nostrils.

Little fingers on lips.

For the next 21 minutes, follow the steps given below.

Close the nose partially. Just reduce the prana flow. When your mind settles down by itself, the prana flow will reduce. Be in the Shanmukhi Mudra and inhale and exhale as slowly as possible and as deeply as possible. Keep your mouth shut tightly. Visualize that both your eyeballs have become stones and let them not move.

Intensify your awareness. Do not create stress. Try to penetrate with deep awareness. Don’t create pressure, create only awareness. Visualize intensely as if you are penetrating your third eye. Visualize deeply as if you are penetrating your third eye with a drill bit.

Relax. Open your eyes slowly.

It is important to make yourself comfortable by supporting yourself properly to be in Shanmukhi Mudra. You will see tremendous energy created in your third eye, to awaken your intuition. When you are comfortable, you will see that you are entering into deeper energies or higher consciousness.