93. The Death-Experience🔗

Let me come back to my experience.

The moment I was able to convince myself that I am going to sit, I could see very clearly, from the root of the spine, a powerful pain started spreading all over the body. This excruciating pain was requesting me, 'Please move the body a little bit and adjust your position!'

My body was begging me, 'Just move your legs a little bit, so that the blood flow will become a little easy. At least adjust your hand. Let me check whether I am alive or not.' It was literally begging me, but I could see very clearly my sankalpa, my will, saying, 'I am going to sit. There is no question of moving.'

The yogi from whom I first studied yoga, Yogi Yogananda Puri, used to display all kinds of extraordinary powers. He achieved these powers because he used to be very clear that till he achieves them, he is going to be practicing forever!

Listen: your mind is intelligent, it can express any power. But it tries to play with you, trying to break your practice without giving you the powers. But if you give a strong message to your mind that you are going to practice until it gives you the power, suddenly it gets frightened!

When you decide to practice till you achieve, your mind immediately decides, 'Oh God, this fellow is going to torture me with his spiritual practices till I reveal those powers to him. I had better give them to him now itself!'

I had been sitting for two-and-a-half days with no food or water, and I did not even know that two-and-a-half days had passed. I had just decided, 'Who cares about time! I am going to sit, that's all.' I was able to feel every joint, very nerve.

Then slowly, the whole body just started disappearing. The moment it learned that the practice is going to be eternal, deergha kalaha, the mind started withdrawing. It decided, 'Now I cannot survive. Now I cannot stand.' Suddenly it came back to the present moment and said, 'Alright, I cooperate with you.' And it simply dissolved. The mind simply dissolved. I no longer experienced either body or mind. I had both, but I was neither. The strong internal death experience happened in me.

The moment it learns that the practice is going to be eternal, the mind starts withdrawing.