29. An arranged marriage
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Recently, a guy came to me and asked, 'Swamiji, I am going to get married, please bless me.'
I knew that person was in love with somebody. I said, 'Oh, so the decision is made and you guys have decided to get married!' He said suddenly, 'No Swamiji, I am not getting married to that person. It is another person.'
I asked, 'Why? I know you guys are in love. Then why are you getting married to another person?' He said, 'I decided to marry the girl chosen by my parents.' I asked, 'Why? When you are in love with somebody, why do you want to go for an arranged marriage?' He said, 'If I go for an arranged marriage, if something goes wrong, at least I will have somebody to blame! If I myself choose the person, then I will not have anybody to blame.'
I asked, 'What do you mean?' He said, 'Anyway marriage is a failure, Swamiji. Anyway it is going to be a failure in one way or the other. But with an arranged marriage, at least I will have somebody to blame if something goes wrong! If I choose the girl and marry her, they will be blaming me if something goes wrong!'
Understand, many a time you surrender so that you will have somebody to blame if something goes wrong later! No! Real surrender is active surrender, where your surrender is responsible, intelligent, useful surrender.