1. The Only Way Out Is In

For some reason, each time that I see You, I am shocked by Your beauty. I think that You are the most beautiful being that has ever happened!

In what way do You experience Your own beauty?

Actually, there is no way to experience your own beauty. If the beauty is physical, then there are ways to know it. You could look in the mirror and see your own reflection.

If the beauty is coming out of your silence; if it is being reflected from within, then it does not belong to your physical body. Then it is not physical at all; you cannot know it yourself because this beauty cannot be reflected in a mirror. You cannot see the beauty of silence through a mirror.

It can only be experienced.

There is one thing that you must be made very clear on:

The beauty that you see in me is not my own. It is not mine at all. It is everyone's. It is part of Existence. There are so many different bodies, but within, we are the same. The inner fire is one and the same. When you start radiating this flame, a certain grace starts happening. It is a beauty that cannot be described because it is from a different dimension altogether.

So, if you are able to see my beauty, it is simply a reflection of your own self. The master is nothing but a mirror of yourself. He is a reflection of yourself.

But it so happens that when you look into a mirror, you start to think that the mirror is beautiful, that the mirror is so child-like, so innocent! What you don't understand is that the mirror is actually you; it is your own reflection!

In life, whatever you see is simply a reflection of yourself. Just look into your lives. A sunset may look beautiful to one person; it may look depressing to another. And another person may not even care; he doesn't bother about it at all.

It is the same sunset that comes through in three different ways. It is not that the sunset is beautiful, or depressing, or difficult to notice.

It is just your attitude which determines what you see. In other words, if you are beautiful, the sunset appears beautiful too.

If you are yourself a beautiful person, everything will appear beautiful to you. You will project your beauty onto the sunset. If you yourself are depressed, everything will look upsetting or disappointing to you. You will project your depression onto the sunset. And the third person, who doesn't notice the sunset at all, doesn't notice the moon, doesn't see the trees around him, is simply missing it. He is always in such a rush, always trying to reach somewhere; he doesn't have the time to look at the sunset which according to him comes and goes anyway and which he can see tomorrow anyway.

But I tell you: Every sunset is new. It is fresh everyday.

So, the way in which you see the sun, or anything for that matter, depends on you. If you are seeing some beauty in me, something beautiful has arisen within you; remember that.

A small Zen story:

Any wandering monk can lodge in a Zen temple. All he has to do is win an argument about Buddhism with those already living there. But he cannot stay in the temple if he is defeated.

It so happened that a wandering monk asked for lodging in a temple where two brothers lived. The older brother was well-read and wise, but the younger, who had only one eye, was a fool. The older brother was feeling tired. He asked his brother to take on the wandering monk. But he warned him, 'Don't talk. Have the debate in silence.'

After some time, the wandering monk came to the older brother and said, 'I am very sorry; I can't stay. Your brother has defeated me.'

The older brother was surprised and asked, 'Tell me what happened.'

The monk said, 'I held up a finger representing Buddha. Your brother held up two fingers symbolizing Buddha and his teachings. Then I held up three fingers symbolizing Buddha, his teachings and his followers. He shook his head and clenched his fist near my face, signifying that all three came from one realization. So he won.'

The monk left. Immediately after, the younger brother rushed in angrily and shouted, 'Where is that fellow? I will beat him for his arrogance.'

'Why, what happened,' the older brother asked.

The younger brother said, 'He held up one finger, mocking me for having only one eye. To be polite to a stranger, I held up two fingers, congratulating him for having two eyes. Then that rude fellow held up three fingers to remind me that between us we had only three eyes. I got mad and wanted to punch him. But he ran away!'

The same set of actions interpreted in entirely two different ways! Just watch how our minds work! We are so boxed into our own psychology. It is this psychology which we project all around us.

A man who is an embodiment of silence will see the whole world as silence. Any sound that he hears will only be lost in the silence which he feels. On the other hand, a man who is full of noise will never feel even a moment's worth of silence. He will only feel noise. The whole world is nothing but the projected version of yourself.

So, it is good that you see beauty in me; it shows that you yourself are beautiful. But don't stop there. This is not an experience to get stuck in. Notice the beauty which is growing within you as well.

Notice it.

Go into it.

Only then will your whole being be filled with beauty.

If a person is able to see everything as beautiful, then what does it mean? It means that he himself is beautiful. So the way in which you see the world, the way in which you see the people around you, all depends on you. You are living in the world which you have created.

Have this understanding: there are as many worlds as there are people because everyone is living in their own world. No two people think in the same way. No two people see the same things.

It is perfectly alright to see beauty in me. But know that it is your beauty which you are seeing. I am simply the mirror, that's all!

This must become a deep understanding in you. You must know that whatever you see in the world is just a projection. Of course, there is a state where the mind is no more and projections have dropped; it is here that you see the world as it is. It is here that you see the world as nothing but beautiful. But this beauty is different; it is not a projection at all.

When you have transcended the mind, you have become a mirror. You then reflect reality. It is nice that you see something like this in me, but trust it only when you see it in everything else too.

When a poet looks around at the trees, just observe him. He looks at the trees, or anything for that matter, with such sensitivity. He sees not only one shade of green, but many shades.

If you were to look at the same tree, you would simply say that the tree is green. It takes a very sensitive person to observe beyond that.

Once you have clearly understood that you are the world because you yourself are creating it, you will automatically become centered; you will see the world as it is.

It has to be remembered continuously: whatever you see is your own projection. Once you start seeing the same everywhere - the same in a friend as you see in an enemy, you have entered into a new space.

And it is possible. Just drop your judgments.

It will happen.

It has to happen.

Beloved Master,

I often feel blessed by an overwhelming feeling that this family, this THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM family is becoming gently one body, one organism, one heartbeat. Is this a dream? Am I just being a utopian?

And please tell me that this is not a dream...

First I ask you: name one person who is not a utopian. Name a single person who does not wish that the world didn't have problems. Name one person who doesn't want peace and harmony; who wants fights and conflicts. You simply cannot! Everyone wants to live in a peaceful way.

So first be clear that you are not in a minority community. Everyone is a utopian. In a subtle way, in some small corner of everybody's mind, whether they are aware of it or not, they want peace and harmony.

Whether you believe it or not, accept it or not, everyone is a utopian, including your so-called criminals. Certain criminals may have done wrong; they may have committed some crime, but for them it is not a crime. They feel that they are perfectly right. They feel that there is nothing wrong with what they did. They feel that whatever they did made their people happy.

So first understand that everyone is a utopian.

Next, about your family feeling: of course it is not a dream. It is real. Everyone here is living with one another, helping each other grow. In fact this relationship is much more than a family feeling. It is a deep bond, a deep connection with everyone at almost the being level.

Just look at the way in which you all are living. I will recall to you an incident that happens almost everyday in our 'THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM family':

One of our devotees would have come to the ashram. You would have never seen him before; never even heard of him. But what happens when you speak to him for the first time? You feel instant bonding with him. You feel that there is something there at a deeper level. And you will be wondering, 'I don't even know this person. Why am I feeling this way?'

The reason is: you all have intense love for the Master. The moment this happens, you feel connected with anyone and everyone who also shares this love for him. Whether you know the person or not, you all share a common factor love for the Master. So naturally, you all feel like one being.

You all understand each other. In fact you all love each other with the same love as you love me. This love is unconditional, regardless of gender, culture or religion. You all may fight, argue and what not, but no grudge remains. This is because of the unconditional love that you have for me and for each other. Because of this love, you all feel as if you are one being, one heartbeat.

Allow this feeling; allow it to grow. You will become so overwhelmed with love and oneness that it will spread outside the boundaries of just my devotees. You will feel this same love, this same connection, with the whole of Existence.

Yes.

Beloved Master,

Could You please pass Your comments about the difference between the spiritual question, 'Who am I?' (which Ramana Maharishi speaks about) and the psychological trauma of 'Who am I?' (the state of confusion).

It is nothing but the difference between the ego and the self. You see: the ego is just the false idea which you have of who you are; it is the work of the mind. There is actually no relationship between it and reality.

Your ego is perfectly fine for you as long as you are dealing only with the world, because in the world you are mainly dealing with the egos of other people. The moment the mind is dropped, the ego goes with it. It is here that you discover who you really are. You understand that what you thought yourself to be and what you really are, are really at two separate poles. You understand that your reality is totally different and has nothing to do with the mind.

It is like this: you have never tasted sugar before. You come to me and ask, 'What does sugar taste like?' What will I say? I will only say that it is sweet. But will you be able to understand? Can you understand what 'sweet' is? No! You need to experience it.

So, in order to understand what 'dropping the ego' is, you must first experience it. As of now, you have not reached the ultimate reality. You are still somewhere between truth and falsity; oscillating between the two.

Yes, it is better than false, but much lower than the real. You still have the separation between you and Existence. It is this separation which prevents you from seeing reality as it is. To see it as it is, is the ultimate blessing. And it is your birthright.

To understand your problem, here is an analogy. You have a wall all around you. You yourself have built this wall; a nice steel wall. And inside this wall, you are thinking that you are seeing reality.

This is the game that ego plays on you. There is a whole other dimension waiting to be seen, waiting to be experienced, and your ego keeps you thinking that you have seen all that needs to be seen. If you break open these walls, you will see the reality of the whole of Existence.

But first, you must get rid of the ego; the ego which prevents you from knowing, from really seeing.

There are some religions like Zen or Hinduism which take you to the end of your spiritual path. It is religions like these which are not only interested in clearing you of the ego, but also go a step further: They take you until the point where there is nothing more to drop; where even the self has disappeared.

Right now, you are like a house that is full; you are having a party within you. There are so many personalities, so many thoughts, so many false ideas contradicting each other. A noisy party is going on within you. When you start moving deeper within you, trying to understand your reality, the party starts winding up; the guests start to leave. The party is no more; your house becomes empty. If you move even deeper, there is no house! Even the house has disappeared.

This is what I am talking about. Right now, you are full of thoughts and you are bound by the ego. It is like your house is full. Some day, the ego will leave you, like your guests have left and your house is empty.

But if you go still deeper, the house too disappears. Then there is nothing at all to drop. Your self has dropped. It is at this point that you are no more. It is in this emptiness that the ultimate experience can really happen.

As I said, your house is now full. There is no space to fit anything in. Only when you become empty, the experience will have the space to happen. Only when you have become no more, the experience of who you really are will blossom. Only when the false identity fades away, your identity will become visible.

It is at this point that you cannot have any connection with your past. It is like you have completely cut off from what you thought yourself to be. It is only now that you can really be yourself.

And this is what enlightenment is: it is getting rid of your ego, your mind, bit by bit. You go on losing this ego until there is nothing more to lose; until you have completely lost yourself. Only then, you find yourself.

I tell you honestly: you all really don't know how to live. We are all miserable because of this one reason. No one is in harmony with each other. Everyone is always at each other's throat. There is never a time when you are fully in peace.

Actually, if you look deeply, there is no such thing as peace. The period of preparation for the next war is what we call peace!

And this is really the way in which we live. All the misery in the world is simply because of this one reason: we all have completely forgotten how to live with each other.

Just look into your lives: when you are in an argument with someone, you naturally feel that the other person doesn't know what he is doing. You feel that he is wrong, that he should simply keep quiet and listen to you! If this is what is going on in your mind, be very clear that the other guy is thinking the same thing! That is why there is an argument!

I am not only talking about arguments, I am also talking about competition, about jealousy. Your whole life which is a struggle to earn money, to always succeed, is simply because of this competing attitude. If you really look into this, you will understand that the only reason that you continuously desire, is to show yourself as better than someone else. Only when your neighbour gets an air conditioner does the temperature in your house increase!

I am reminded of a small story:

There was once a Priest and a Rabbi. They were both next door neighbors.

These two guys would always be competing.

When the Priest got an ice box, the Rabbi had to get a new refrigerator. When the Rabbi got a new fan, the Priest had to get a new air conditioner.

One day, the Priest drove in with a new BMW. On seeing this, what did the Rabbi do?

He immediately went and bought a new Rolls Royce!

The next day, the Rabbi walked out of his house and found that the Priest was baptizing his new BMW.

The Rabbi just didn't know what to do.

That evening the Rabbi was seen cutting the exhaust pipe of his new Rolls Royce!

If you understood the joke, it is good.

If you didn't understand, don't miss the laughter! Simply laugh! What else can be done!

This is the way in which you are living! Whether you believe it or not, accept it or not, it is the truth! Your whole life simply exists on this one basis: to show yourself as better than the other guy.

Stop all this nonsense! This is not the way to enjoy your life in totality. This is not the way to extract the juice of Existence.

Life is nothing but a celebration and you are here to live it.

You are here to enjoy.

You are here to sing with the birds.

Just do it! Grasp the spirit and flow with the river of life!

Nothing more is needed.

Thank you.

Your discourse this morning was just amazing! You have such a vast context. Can You please speak about Your role in this place? Was it Your choice or did Existence plan it for You? Did Existence think that you were the only person who could save humanity?

There is a time that will come when there will be no difference between you and Existence. It is not that I planned for myself to come here or Existence did. There is no difference between Existence and I; there is only a merging, a deep merging.

It is like this: do you see this handkerchief? There are so many threads coming out of this one piece of cloth. It is not that the threads and the handkerchief are different. The threads are part of the whole handkerchief. They are both one and the same.

In the same way, so many masters have happened on planet Earth. We all think that they are different from each other. Actually, they are part of the same Whole. They are all part of the same cosmic oneness. There are so many threads, but they are from the same thing, the same source. There is no difference between Existence and I. Every master who has happened on planet Earth is pure Existence descended once more in human form.

It is not that I am the only person so far who has tried to save humanity. So many masters have come; each with a different technique for awakening. But somehow, we have simply escaped from them. We have survived them; we have survived even Buddha!

This will not happen again! Be very clear: I will not let this happen! You will not be able to escape this time. You will be awakened!

Actually, there are so many awakened ones already. We are just not able to recognize them. It is not that each one has come with a mission. Some of them live happily in society.

There are three types of enlightened people: The first type is mystics. They are ones who are realized but have not necessarily come down with a mission. They live happily with themselves. It doesn't mean that they have to live in some secluded cave in the Himalayas. They might as well be your next door neighbor. You never know!

The second type is Masters. They are the ones who have realized and have a mission as well. They go around carrying their message to awaken humanity. They are very much like scientists, except that they are of the inner world.

A scientist is one who creates a formula to recreate the same experience which happened to him in the outer world for others to experience.

A Master is one who creates a formula to recreate the same experience which happened to him in the inner world for others to experience.

The third type is avatars - incarnations*.* He is above the other two.

In fact, avatars are the first two and something more. They do live happily with themselves. They do have a mission. The only difference is that they can put you into the experience straightaway without any formula. All that you need to do is approach them with a deep receptive mood. In fact, even if you don't have this receptive mood, he will ensure that the experience happens within you. He will not allow you to escape.

Understand: once you have stepped inside, you will not be able to go out. The process has already started. Even if you leave me, the process will continue without stopping. With or without your knowledge, your transformation will go on.

You will be transformed!

You will be awakened!

Yes.

Beloved Master,

I feel a sort of love when I am in Your presence; a deep, warm love. But I find that when I am not near You, the same feeling does not persist. I am confused because I thought that time and space played no role in the relationship between the Master and disciple. Please explain.

Yes, it has always been that space and time play no role in the Master-disciple relationship. This relationship is one of great love. Space and time shouldn't matter at all. The problem is that in the beginning, the love of the disciple is not pure.

Yes, the love is there, but it is clouded by possessiveness and expectations. You expect that the master will do this and do that. You expect him to flow in a particular way. You feel upset when he talks to others and not to you. This type of love is still not desireless.

It is only because of these expectations that jealousy arises and space and time seem to matter. Otherwise, not only in the relationship with the master, in any kind of relationship, unconditional love is the only thing that should be there. Desires should not even be present. I mean any desire, including that of enlightenment. This is the main thing stopping you from realizing.

There is one thing that you have to realize in order to actually love the master. Understand that he is forever in your heart. It is not like he is in your heart when he calls your name and talks to you and leaves your heart when he is doesn't. No! He is in your heart right now and all the time. His laughter is the very blood that pumps from your heart. His dance is your very breath. If this is the case, what is there to feel upset about when you are not in his presence? You should be happy and feel him with you all the time, wherever you may be, wherever he may be.

But somehow you seem to miss this. It is only when you realize that the master is within you, will space and time not make a difference at all. This difference comes in only with desires. These desires are practically unavoidable in the beginning. I am not talking only about normal expectations. I mean the desire of enlightenment, the expectation of enlightenment also. And this desire is practically unavoidable because you do not see it as a negative desire.

Let you be clear: there is no such thing as a positive desire or a negative desire.

As I said before: the desire of enlightenment is the only thing that is stopping you.

Your wanting enlightenment is so strong that you simply miss it. Only when you relax, only when you are fully in the present moment, only when the very idea of enlightenment has left you, enlightenment will happen. Only when you have dropped the idea, will enlightenment happen.

Forgetting completely about the future will make your love pure. Only when your love has become pure, with no desires, no expectations from the master, will enlightenment happen.

Do not try to fight with your desires. Then you will only be suppressing them. Don't go behind the expectations also. Simply remain undisturbed by them, fully aware. Let you see witness all your desires.

The only way to overcome desires is to watch them, not to go behind them. The next time you feel a pang of jealousy, simply watch it. When you see me talking to someone else, do not let those feelings of possession take over your whole mind. That is not the way. Tell yourself, 'I am on my way to enlightenment, and jealousy is not a quality of enlightenment. Then what for should I be jealous?'

You will see that if you watch jealousy, if you watch your body reactions as a result of jealousy rising in you, you will automatically go beyond it instead of getting entangled in it.

Then, your love will become pure.

Beloved Master,

I have been meditating for a few years now and since I have started I am able to see tremendous changes in my life. Changes have been happening by themselves, without my trying, or doing anything. I feel as if something wants to express itself and that I should allow it. Am I waiting for something to grow strong enough, or am I just lazy?

Yes, experiences will happen with meditation. You may find a deep change within yourself since you have started your spiritual journey. But this is where you start missing as well: you go on asking for more. You are not just allowing it to flow in its own course. Life is a river: flow with it. But our problem is that we always flow against life's currents.

Part 2: The Only Way Out Is In

There was a couple travelling with a group in the wilderness. They came across a rapidly flowing river. The wife thought it was beautiful. She went close to it and fell in.

The husband immediately jumped in and tried searching for her, but was unable to find her. He then started swimming against the current hoping to find her.

One of the members called out to him, 'Why are you swimming in the wrong direction? The river's currents would have carried her away. Why are you swimming against its current?'

The man helplessly replied, 'Yes, but I know her. She would have gone upstream only!'

This is exactly what we are doing every minute of our lives. Life is nothing but a river. It is continuously trying to carry you away. But what do you do? You swim against its current instead of flowing with it. There is a popular saying, 'Go with the flow'. It means nothing but this.

Now you will ask, 'How to flow with life?' Simply allow life to happen; that's all! Do not think about the future. Do not think about the past. The present should be the only thing for you. Just be in the present moment.

Allow your experiences to happen by themselves. Do not think about not having a particular experience. Do not worry about you not doing anything to help your experience happen. All this is nonsense! How can you help Existence give you an experience? You cannot do anything better than what Existence is already doing. Just offer yourself to the river; offer yourself to Existence. Allow Existence to do what it pleases with you.

One more thing: laziness and relaxation have been misunderstood; especially for these workaholics. When you sit under an umbrella on the beach and worry, you call it a vacation!

When you are in the office, you worry about the house. When you are in the house, you worry about when the next vacation should be. And then when your so-called vacation finally comes, you sit and worry about the office again! And this is happening all the time in our lives. Whether we are aware of it or not, we are continuously worrying.

So, as I was saying, laziness and relaxation have been misunderstood by people who simply don't know how to relax. Be clear: what you are feeling is not laziness at all. Laziness is only for those workaholics who don't know how to simply sit.

There is a Zen practice where you are meant to simply sit. You are just meant to sit with yourself and move into a deep relaxation. It is called Zazen - simply sitting.

Relaxation is to be at complete ease with yourself. It is to be unaffected by whatever happens outside of you. Actually, it is to be totally centered within yourself.

You say, 'Changes have been happening by themselves, without my trying, or doing anything. I feel as if something wants to express itself and that I should allow it. Am I waiting for something to grow strong enough, or am I just lazy?'

This shows that your mind is worried about what is happening. If your experiences grow, the mind will lose control. This is why it is going on questioning what is happening to you. The mind is always afraid of losing control.

You see: meditation is a deep waiting for the unknown, for the unpredictable. The more you wait the more purity there is and the more grace comes out of it. There should be no hurry, no expectation of what is to come.

Just wait and let what has to happen, happen. Let Existence decide what has to be done. Wait and let things happen to you; don't get involved!

Just wait for tomorrow, but be sure not to lose the spirit of today. Be sure that in your waiting for tomorrow, you don't lose today. Just wait. Every day holds something new.

Existence is extremely compassionate; it wants to share its beauty with all of us, but only gives to those who don't demand. Just wait with deep trust. Then all that Existence has to offer will be given to you.

Asking always leads to frustration. Only when you ask nothing of Existence, will it give you everything that it has. Just put your asking and questioning mind aside.

That is why there is a board outside the hall. Did you see it? It says, 'Keep your mind and footwear outside'. And this is a statement that should be followed.

Simply leave your mind outside.

Do this much; your desires will automatically drop.

Yes.

I really don't know how to express my gratitude for Your immense love and compassion! How does one be aware, especially during the time of anger. I mean, the feeling of anger is just so strong that I don't know how to handle it. And honestly, I am just fed up with the emotion! Please throw some light on this.

You are making a small issue big; that's all! That is the essence of the whole thing.

I ask you: how can you not be aware during the time of anger? After all, it is not such a big emotion to make such a fuss about. Anger is just a small thing.

If you can just watch yourself, you will be able to easily handle it. If you can watch it, it will leave you. It will enter your system and leave it without any effort. Patience along with awareness, is what is needed here. If you cannot be patient, the ego will start to magnify emotions like anger and brand them as 'difficult to handle'. Just discard it as nonsense.

All emotions such as anger, jealousy and greed are all very small. It is our ego that magnifies and makes them big. The ego has to make everything big, everything great. With its great anger and great guilt and great greed, it becomes great itself. This is the game which your mind, your ego, is playing on you.

And the mind - what a cunning guy! It simply wants to rule over you. And what do you do? You simply allow it to rule over you. And through this ruling, you yourself begin to feel that you are the ego! What a fluke for the mind!

But you are not the ego; you are nothing but the witness. So if you become the witness in times like anger, what can it do to you? Nothing at all, because it is not doing it to you! You are only the witness! And it cannot do it to the witness because it is only supposed to witness!

You are just like a passerby. The whole incident is happening to someone else; you are just an on-looker watching the whole thing.

Think of your life as a movie. You are sitting in the theater and watching the whole thing. It is not happening to you at all. You are completely on a different plane. And you should have the intelligence to understand that none of this is true. It is not reality! How can a movie that has been conceived, directed and enacted be reality? But somehow, you have begun to think that it is the truth. You laugh when there is a joke; you cry when the hero is dead, even though you know that he never died and he is still alive doing his next movie!

So what I am telling you to do is to do nothing at all!

I can see many blank faces looking at me.

Let me explain a little more.

Just watch your emotions. Watch your thoughts. Don't say anything for something or against it.

A small story:

A young girl became pregnant. Her parents were extremely upset with her. They went on pestering her in hopes of finding out who the child's father was.

After a lot of questions and a lot of scolding, the girl named a Swami who lived close by. The parents went to the Swami, yelled and literally abused him for his criminal act.

The Swami listened to all their accusations and calmly asked, 'Is that so?'

After this incident, everybody started speaking ill of the Swami. He became a man whose name, when merely mentioned, would make everyone uncomfortable.

When the baby was born, the girl's parents took it to the Swami and asked him to bring up the child by himself.

The Swami took the baby without a word. He took good care of the baby, getting it milk and clothes from his neighbors. He did whatever was necessary to bring up the child.

About a year later, the girl confessed that she had lied to the parents. The actual father of the baby was a young man. The girl's parents immediately went to the Swami. They apologized endlessly for their behavior and requested him to return the baby. They told him that the actual father of the baby was another man.

The Swami said, 'Is that so?' and returned the baby.

This is a beautiful story.

Just watch how the Swami reacted to the things that happened to him? This is what I mean by 'witness'. Now, do you understand?

Just be a witness to everything that happens. That is why I say, 'Don't say anything for something or against it.'

When you become the witness, you will be simply shocked! Whatever you have always thought to be a very big thing will start looking small. It won't seem to matter at all. But what have you been doing all this time? You have thought that even small things like anger are very big!

When anger comes, it is not that it is going to kill you. It has never killed you, and you have been through it many times before. You have come out of it perfectly well. The only thing is that every time you get involved in anger, you fight with it; it leaves you with a very bitter feeling. Now I am asking you to do only one thing in a new way; just watch it! The next time anger comes, just watch it. Don't be affected. Watch it as if it doesn't belong to you. When you do this, you will see that the anger simply disappears in a matter of seconds!

It is only when the anger disappears in such a peaceful way without any struggle does it leave behind a loving feeling. An extremely beautiful, silent and peaceful love will take over your whole being. Earlier, the same energy that would have taken over your whole being as anger, has now turned into love. And it is such a beautiful love, so you won't fight with it; you will enjoy it.

Anytime that anything arises in you, it is a great chance to watch it and see it transform into this pure love, this pure energy. So just watch, that's all! That angry donkey will simply run away!

Just watch and the emotion will be transformed.

Thank you.

I know that the question that I am going to ask is foolish, but it has been lingering within me for some time now.

I am afraid of enlightenment.

What comes after enlightenment? What do we do after the goal of life is finally reached? What am I aiming for? As of now, I just feel like I am falling into an endless pit. I literally feel like I am falling with no bottom, with no goal at all.

What exactly am I aiming for? What is beyond the goal?

This is a nice question!

See: it is not just you who is scared of enlightenment; the whole of humanity is. Why else do you think that so few people have attained?

And these few people who have attained have been spreading this message to the world. They have been preaching about this bliss for thousands and thousands of years. But what do we do? We simply ignore them! We have been ignoring their messages for so long. Humanity has simply not paid any attention to their message. And your question comes from the deeper core of humanity.

It is not only that you alone are afraid, but all of humanity is; everyone is afraid of enlightenment. It is very obvious why. It is because we are all scared of losing ourselves. And this is what enlightenment is, just losing yourself.

This is the same reason why we are all scared of love. This is the reason why we are scared to trust. It is all for the same reason; we will lose ourselves. But this doesn't happen while we are in depression, while we are in anxiety. At this time, we have complete control over ourselves. At this time, we will not be lost. Do you understand? The more difficult your life is, the more you feel yourself. The more comfortable you are.

Just look at the kids, how beautiful they are! Why do you think they are like this? It is for the simple reason that they lose themselves. They are just lost in their joy.

Have you seen children whirling? They practically lose themselves in their own bliss. They offer themselves to Existence. It is such a small activity, whirling, but they do it totally. That is the beautiful thing.

But you fellows - what do you do when you see them whirl? You get uncomfortable and shout to them to keep quiet, to simply sit. 'You will fall. Sit down!' you say.

Actually, you want to make them buffalos just like you! And when they finally do become buffalos, you feel that you have done your job! You feel that they have become mature! Nonsense!

You have become so fully suppressed that you feel uncomfortable when someone else is expressing themselves. That is the truth.

It is your very nature to lose your self. It is your birthright. The only way to find your 'Self' is to lose your 'self'.

But you are afraid of what might happen next. On one hand, you want whatever is being offered to you. On the other hand, you are afraid. It is like this: you are stuck in a prison. You are trying all possible ways to get out, but the bars are too strong; the prison simply does not want you to leave. And understand: you are the bars; you do not want yourself to leave. You are the prison. This is why you are afraid to get out of it. You yourself have created this prison and at the same time, you want to escape.

Just imagine: you are afraid of the same thing for which you have a deep longing! And not only this; you start consoling yourself by saying, 'This is where I belong.' Just see the game that your mind is playing on you!

So it is like you have simply become accustomed to suffering. Although it may be painful, it is familiar to you; it is nice and cozy. Actually, the only reason why you are not able to live in a peaceful way is that you are afraid to come out of your cozy environment. The idea of coming out creates a sort of insecurity within you because you are not familiar with the free feeling at all. Just imagine: you are not familiar with being peaceful!

But there is one thing that you are very clear about: you know that there is something beyond your personality. Then why are you watching on the sidelines? All that is needed is to take the plunge into the mainstream, that's all! Don't think before you jump because if you think first, you will never jump! Your thinking takes the very juice out of what has to be done. The moment you think, the juice in it is lost.

Again and again I am telling you that before you do anything, you must lose your self. Again I am telling you: you must lose yourself to find yourself.

A small story:

A disciple asked his master, 'What is enlightenment?'

'It is right before your eyes,' the master replied.

'Then why can't I see it?' the disciple asked.

'Because of your 'I,' the master said.

'If I don't have this idea of 'I', will I reach It?' asked the disciple.

'If there is no 'I', who wants to reach enlightenment?' the master asked.

Do you understand? First lose yourself before worrying about enlightenment. Only when you have lost yourself will enlightenment dawn on you. Enlightenment is all about losing yourself. It is all about becoming Nothing. How can you become nothing when you are still something?

I am reminded of something that happened while I was speaking in a college.

During the questions and answers session, one girl raised her hand and asked, 'What is the difference between you and me? Why should you sit on the throne and all of us here on the floor?'

I just smiled at her and said, 'You are right. There is no difference between you and me. It is just that you are something, and I am Nothing.'

This is what I mean when I say 'lose yourself'.

Don't bother about what will happen next. Only when you worry about the next step, the step will never be taken.

Just jump!

Nothing more is needed!

Yes.

This whole enlightenment business is confusing me. You said that our search for it must be total. But on the other hand, my desire for enlightenment is so strong that I am getting impatient. What should I do to solve my problem?

You see: if you go on thinking about enlightenment, it will never happen. Enlightenment is right in front of you; just take it! But you will not! It is so easy that it is hard; this is the problem! Anything very easy becomes too hard for us because we are used to doing only hard things, never easy things. We are taught to struggle all the time, not just take things. Stop worrying and confusing yourself.

For example, can you make any effort to sleep? There have been so many tricks for sleeping, but do they work? You are told to drink a hot glass of milk, but what does the milk do? It makes you even more awake and alert! They tell you to take a bath, but that makes you even more fresh!

In order to sleep, you must lie down and sleep should come by itself. You should make no effort at all. But why should you go to sleep? There has to be a need, a desire for sleep; only then can sleep come. Because without the desire, you may feel, 'What is the point?' And for desire for sleep to come, you should get to a point where sleep is absolutely needed. Long hours of sleep is wasteful. If you work until a point when sleep comes naturally to you, then you just need to put your head on the pillow and you are gone! That is real sleep. The quality of your sleep will be profound.

So in the beginning, a desire is needed. But the problem is that in the final stage, the desire itself becomes the hindrance. So first, you must desire and then forget all about the desire! This is the only way that enlightenment will ever come.

And your search must be total. Otherwise, the longing will not be created. A deep longing must be there. You see: enlightenment is a desire which not many people have. People desire all kinds of things, but only very few desire enlightenment.

So first I emphasise: be total in your search for enlightenment. Create the longing for it first. But be clear: do not stick to the desire. This is what will stop you moving towards it. In the beginning, this longing is absolutely necessary. But as you move deeper, it will stop you. As you move deeper, it will become the stumbling block.

So, searching is only half of your search. If you go on searching, you will become frustrated because it is not like it is something that you can find outside yourself. It is within you. It is nowhere else. It must be discovered. But for this to happen, you have to have been a thorough seeker. You have to become frustrated completely. The search should be such that you feel you have practically given yourself to it. Your frustration should be such that you give up everything for this search. You should feel as if you have nothing else in this world except this one search which has now let you down.

This is what I mean by thoroughly searching.

So just go on searching till you become frustrated. It is only when this frustration comes that you will drop the search. It is here that you will automatically fall into a deep relaxation. This relaxation will be so deep that you will simply fall to your center. Rather I should say that you will rise to your center!

Now that I have said this, what will you immediately do? You will try to fall into frustration! This will not be of any use; it will only put you into further depression!

Let it happen at its own pace. There is no need to think about it. It will happen by itself.

Thank you.

When I sit in Your presence during Your discourses, when I hear You talking about silence and attaining, I feel blessed. Sometimes, silence even happens.

But here is my problem: the moment You leave, my inner chattering starts again. When I meditate in Your presence, my mind is silenced so easily, but when I meditate on my own, I don't feel the same silence at all.

Is this what usually happens in a Master/disciple relationship?

Understand: it is completely natural to fall into silence in the presence of the master. It is because the master is silence himself. He is the ultimate silence. He radiates it.

Being with the master will bring immense silence. It is bound to happen. What exactly does being in the presence of the master mean? It is being with someone that you trust. There is a deep love; a love from a completely different plane. It means being with someone who will take you into the unknown. You will simply forget yourself in his presence.

So naturally, you will fall into silence. There is nothing that can be done about it! Whether you want it or not, the master's silence will continue to embrace you! His silence is contagious; nothing can be done!

All of this is beautiful. But because it is disappearing without the master, be clear, it is not your own. Silence has to happen to you in your aloneness; only then can you call it your own. Otherwise it is just the master's reflection projected onto you. It is like you are overwhelmed and in this overwhelmed state, the master's silence is coming into you. Yes, when in the master's presence you are having a glimpse of silence; that is okay. But you must experience your own silence to really call it silence.

One thing must be clearly understood: the silence that you are experiencing near the master is just a reminder that you too can experience the same type of silence. You see: this is not just a glimpse for you to enjoy and move on. It is not there for you to just enjoy and say, 'How beautiful!' No! It is there for you to gain the understanding that the same thing can happen in you all the time.

As of now, you are existing in your body; you are existing in your mind. But your center is completely different from the two. Your center has a completely different quality. It is its very nature to be silent. It is its very nature to be immersed in stillness.

The problem is that now we have become confused. Because of being caught up with the mind, we are not able to tell the difference between 'me' and 'I'. This 'me' is the real you. It is your birthright. But it is this 'I' that causes all the problems!

How to come out of this?

Meditation is all that is needed. Awareness is the only key. Again and again, I give you the same technique: just watch yourself. Don't drag behind a thought; don't try to stop a thought from coming. Let everything happen as it is supposed to; you just watch. Whether a thought is negative or positive shouldn't be your business at all. Just remain cool and untouched. You will be surprised about what will come.

When you become just a witness, the number of thoughts slowly begin to decrease. The gap between thoughts becomes greater and greater. These gaps hold so much silence within them. But when your thoughts slowly begin to decrease, what will you do? You will think, 'Good job!' Don't do this, because it is just one more thought.

The longer you go on witnessing, the bigger these gaps become. And finally, the thoughts will cease. You will be in silence all the time. Now, it has become your silence. Now your silence and the master's silence have become one. Now you don't depend on the master to give you silence. The silence will be with you always.

Next!

When I sit with You, I feel as if I am drinking from a mountain stream. Whenever I try meditating by myself, the most I get is city water!

How can I receive Your clarity and silence within myself?

We will talk later about this clarity and silence.

First, understand that there is actually not much difference between water from the city tap and water from the mountain stream. If you yourself taste, you will understand. If you have tasted, you will know. The stream water will be fresh and alive. It will be rich. The water itself is fresh and is coming directly from the melted snow. It is completely pure. The city water will not be as fresh.

There is one thing that you should know: even if

you have started to taste the city water, you are all! You will reach; you have to reach.

Be alert and aware when you climb. Be filled with devotion; be receptive to what is happening to you; you will surely reach the top.

A small story:

After 9 years in China, Bodhidharma, the father of Zen, was going back to Bharat. Before leaving, he asked his disciples what they had learned from his teachings.

Dofuku said, 'Truth is beyond all. It is beyond yes and no. It is beyond life and death.'

Bodhidharma offered him his skin.

Soji said, 'It is like how Ananda saw the Buddhaland - once and forever.'

'I give you my flesh,' Bodhidharma said.

Doiku said, 'No-thing is reality.'

Bodhidharma said, 'You have my bones.'

Eka the last disciple came before the Master, bowed and stood in silence.

'You have my soul', said Bodhidharma.

Thank you.

How are centeredness, concentration and meditation related to one another?

Centeredness is just another word for concentration. But meditation is the complete opposite of concentration. Concentration means nothing but centeredness. It means focusing on one point without thinking of anything else. It is completely an act of the mind. Only when you have the mind, you can concentrate. But meditation is different. Meditation is no-mind. Concentration is mind, meditation is no-mind.

Meditation is going beyond concentration. Concentration is in no way related to meditation; they are complete opposites. One is with the mind and the other is without.

Concentration will reveal secrets of the outer world. Meditation will reveal secrets of the inner world - of yourself. You may be wondering, 'What is he talking about? Of course I know myself!'

And this is what everyone is thinking. But you would be surprised; you know nothing of your self. What you think you are is different; what you are is totally different. As of now, you only feel yourself in this body. But you are much more than that!

Let me give you an example. Every time I leave the Bangalore ashram to go on a world tour, all the ashramites will be sitting and weeping. And when I leave the Los Angeles ashram, all those fellows will be sitting and doing the same thing!

I tell them, 'I am with you.' When I say this, they think, 'Oh, he is just trying to console me.' No! It is the truth.

Do not tag me to this six-foot body which you think I am. I am much more. That is why I am able to say, I am with you.

Forget me; you yourself are much more!

Simply stop associating yourself with this fivefoot something body of yours! Feel your self as the whole world, as the whole universe. You are the whole world. You are the divine and the divine is there everywhere. But why do you go on associating yourself with this body? The divine energy is present everywhere.

There is a beautiful story:

A young girl became enlightened after studying with a master for some time.

One day, she was sitting on a box, meditating, when her father came and shouted, 'What are you doing? There is a Krishna statue in that box!'

The girl replied, 'Father, take me to a place where there is no Krishna.'

This is a beautiful story. This is what I am talking about. The divine is everywhere. The divine is in you right now. It is you!

The problem is that there is something stopping you from realizing this. And this problem is the mind. The mind thrives on division. It is forever dividing, making things two when they are one!

And what do you do? You play along. You say, 'This is my body; this is my mind; this is the Earth; this is me; this is you.' What nonsense! Just see the game that your mind is playing!

Go beyond the mind. What are you waiting for?

When you look at something, just be aware of the segregating thought. Be aware of the emotion that says, 'This is different; I am different.' Do not listen to these nonsensical thoughts.

When you look, actually look; don't think!

Yes, next.

I have noticed that when I am not around You, I have so many questions which I feel the need to ask You. Then, when I finally come near enough to ask You, either the questions seem to be of no use or I forget them altogether. Why is this? Why do questions simply vanish in Your presence?

Nice question…!

There are many answers to this question; there are many reasons. But the main reason is this: when you are near someone whose mind is no more, you too enter into the mindless state. Just being in his presence can put you in this state.

This is the case with almost everyone. For example, when you are near someone who is always angry, who is in constant depression, what happens? You also fall into a low mood. But when you are with someone who is cheerful and charismatic, what happens? You also begin to feel happy and energetic.

It is the same way with this no-mind state. When you are with someone who doesn't have any inner chatter, you also begin to have fewer thoughts. And what are questions? They are nothing but thoughts.

So, what you are feeling is perfectly natural. You may have all possible questions when you are not in my presence. But the moment you come close to me, your questions disappear. Your questions vanish. In fact, your thoughts reduce by themselves. You simply fall into the silence which is radiated through the Master's presence.

And this is good; allow it to happen.

Do not start thinking about what is happening to you. This will just create one more thought within you.

Just allow things to happen on their own. Do not bring yourself into the situation.

This is living in silence.

This is living in the moment.

Yes.

Can You please speak to me about fear? What exactly is it? Will meditation help me to get over my fear of death? And also, why am I afraid of letting go and falling into something more powerful than me?

You are asking me about fear. Actually, there are many fears, different types. But even though there are many fears, all of them have the same root cause: fear of death. Every fear that you can imagine has death as its center, as its core, nicely disguised though.

Let us look into it. You may have the fear of losing all your money and going bankrupt. But fear is just the outer covering of what you are really feeling. Actually, if you lose your money, you are becoming more vulnerable to death. We all keep holding only money as our protection. We all know that there is no protection against death. When it has to come, it will come. But still we want something to hold us back; something to keep us busy.

This is the problem with these workaholics. These guys must always be involved in some kind of work. They cannot sit quietly with themselves. And to tell you honestly, they are scared of vacations!

From the moment they get up in the morning and start reading the newspaper, they need something to do. And they will go on reading the same newspaper over and over, just to keep themselves occupied sometimes! I feel really amused looking at these guys!

They want to remain engaged in something continuously because it creates a boundary against death. When they continuously have something to do, it creates a curtain between themselves and death. Whatever it may be, the sole reason behind the whole thing is the fear of death.

Once you have realized that all your fears are only to do with death, you can see how to transcend them altogether. If death is the basic fear behind all fears, then only one thing can be done: an experience within you of deathless consciousness. This may not be practical for most people. But repeated intellectual understanding combined with awareness can make you a mere watcher of fear instead of becoming fearful of it.

Understand, nothing is important; not money, not prestige, not power, nothing; only your true nature is. This is because it is the only thing that is real. The mind may die; the body may die; but you will not. Understand this. You are beyond both the body and mind. So what is this talk about death? What is left to die? You will never end because you have never even begun!

Existence is beginningless; it is endless.

It has just always been. It has never started and it will never end. You started the same way and you are still the same way. You have never started and you will never end. The forms may come and go, but you will live on.

Your infancy was once there and now it has passed. Childhood has left you and now you are in adulthood. The death of childhood is the beginning of adulthood. Soon you will enter old age; death will come and then you will start all over again. Do you see what I am talking about?

So many things will go on happening to the form, but not to the essence; not to you.

Your form is changing every moment. The changes are so quick and so fast that you don't know what is happening to you when it is happening. Just see, your childhood left you and you entered into your teenage years. And then from your teenage years, you entered into adulthood and then into old age. And then finally, what happens? Death comes. It all happens in just a fraction of a second. It is all change - nothing more than that.

Death is just a jump from one body to another body. But be clear, it is not the end for you. You were never born and you never died. You were always here.

Meditation brings you face to face with your own reality. Once you understand what your own reality is, you simply won't bother about death.

So, come face to face with your own reality. Do not be afraid. After all, why should you be afraid of what you are?

Be clear: you are only afraid because you have fear of death.

But you will never die.

You will only be here.

Do you understand?

Can You please explain to me about how a meditator is meant to pass through death? Will he see death more like a joke or as a serious affair?

Actually, it is only a meditator who is capable of passing through death as a joke. In fact, only he can pass through it smiling and laughing because he knows that death is just part of the process. He knows that death cannot hurt him in any way. He knows that life will just come and go but his life is eternal.

To tell you honestly: death is nothing but change of houses. It is just changing your location.

Here is the difference: to the non-meditator, death is the end; to the meditator, it is the beginning. Every death, every new life is like a fresh start; a fresh beginning. But the problem is that if you don't understand this, you will pass through death unconsciously without opening your eyes to the beauty of the whole thing.

If you can die consciously, death will seem like a new door found for the same room. It will just be a fresh beginning. But in order to die consciously, you must live consciously. A conscious death is a gift for living a conscious life.

Another thing: whether you run from death or face it, it doesn't matter; it will come. There is nothing that you can do about it. Death has been approaching you every moment, every second from the day you were born.

A meditative person will be able to see the secret behind death. It will appear like someone is dying from the outside. But it will be very clear that in the inside, nobody has ever died.

Yes.

What is the mystery behind the silence in Your words?

All that I want to convey to you is in the gaps between my words. I create the words only for these gaps.

Have you noticed that I speak very slowly? People usually think, 'Oh, he must be scrambling for words. That is why he is pausing so much!'

No! It is not like that! I am creating as many gaps as possible. I am trying to make these gaps as long as possible in order for you to receive the message which cannot be transferred through words. And this message will take you beyond words.

But what do you fellows sit and do when these gaps come? You think and do all possible things. You never remain calm and receptive.

Silence can only be transferred from one silent being to another. The possibility to share, to merge into the unknown happens in complete silence.

The same goes when I crack jokes as well. The purpose for me cracking jokes is not for the sake of the joke; it is for the laughter that follows. This is because in laughter, your thinking stops. In the peak of laughter, your mind is no more. This is why I always tell people: even if you miss the joke don't miss the laughter.

In the peak of laughter, your mind just stops; there will be no thoughts. And then after the laughter, there is a very small gap where you become totally receptive and totally open. At this time, the silence will go to the core of your being and do wonders to you.

While sitting before me, all that you must do is to let your mind remain still. Do not allow your mind to wander here and there.

It is as simple as that!

Thank you.

Part 3: The Only Way Out Is In

I can't begin to thank You enough for showering so much of love on me. But I often feel that I am not worthy enough. Am I worthy of so much?

Be very clear: there is nothing called worthy or unworthy. These thoughts are simply an expression of passive ego – the inferior ego. Just understand that the master is a river; he flows and offers himself choicelessly to the people he encounters in his flow. How much you want to receive is up to you. The master's energy is limitless. It is your decision as to how much you want to take from him.

The master is like an endless ocean. It is completely your choice to decide how deep you want to go. The master's waves are always trying to pull you in deeper, but it is up to you whether you want to resist it or go along with it. The choice is yours. But whatever you do, the Master will not say a word. He will only allow you to do what you decide.

One more thing: to love the Master is an opportunity which not everyone gets. You see, love arises out of a deep feeling of oneness and gratitude. Love has nothing to do with beauty or outward appearance. It is an emotion that happens unconditionally.

So what you must understand is that you are worthy and everyone is. In fact you are worthy of much, much more than you are already receiving.

But how much love you get is up to you. It all depends on how receptive you are.

All this time that I have been with You in the ashram, I always did as I was told. But now, it feels like it is all up to me. But who am I to know what to do?

Actually, everyone wants to be relieved of all responsibilities. It is very natural. But the moment the responsibility is gone, we tend to feel uncomfortable.

On the other hand, there are people who are more than willing to take responsibility. This is because they are at the same time taking away your freedom. And this is what everyone is mad about: power. When you take responsibility upon yourself, you are at the same time taking freedom away from others.

But here in the ashram, things are different. No one will dictate you. Initially, when you come, you are bound to do as you are told. This is bound to happen because you are still new to the whole atmosphere. You don't know the ropes yet. But over time, when you become accustomed to the way things work, it is completely natural to start listening to yourself and abiding by your own rules.

This can work either for you or against you. It is perfectly alright to have enough freedom for yourself; in fact it is necessary. But this is all to a limit. There should be certain guidelines to follow. I don't even want to say rules, because they are not rules. Rules are only for people who don't know how to choose wisely. But here you have a choice. That is why I say guidelines and not rules. There are just enough guidelines to live in a blissful way. And all these guidelines are simply made with the same motive - to live happily. There is no other reason for the instructions that are given to you.

And I tell you honestly: the easiest way to live in freedom is to follow these few guidelines.

Just look into your lives. When you have many rules, you feel bound, you simply want to escape. But when you finally do escape, you feel even more bound. The problem here is that you have so much freedom that you don't know how to handle it.

This is why in the ashram, if I want to teach any of them a lesson, I simply give them freedom! There is nothing more that I need to do. It is the best punishment! When I relieve them of all of their guidelines, initially, they will be so thankful to me. Only after a couple of days, the fellow will understand what he has gotten himself into! If freedom is given to a person who is not ready, it will be just a torture.

But let you be clear: freedom is not a bad thing; in fact it is a beautiful thing. If freedom is happening on its own, it is beautiful. This is the way it should happen. But if you are forcing freedom upon yourself, it is just suppressing your responsibilities. This is not the way it should happen.

Allow freedom to happen on its own accord; only then will it be an amazing experience. And when I say amazing, I mean amazing! It will throw you out of your mind…into no-mind!

Yes.

I have a small doubt. You said that we are reborn every moment. But then another time You said that we die every moment. So now, I am wondering: am I dying or being reborn?

You are both dying and being reborn, at the same time, all the time. Both are happening simultaneously. Each new moment comes, and then in less than a second, it becomes the past. And what is the past? It is nothing more than death. Each moment goes on bringing the future. And what is the future? It is nothing more than life. In between the past and future, there is a small gap called the present. This is the transition point where both life and death meet.

You may have asked this question thinking that I will give you a very simple reply. No, it is a question that deals with your very existence. It has to do with what is happening to you every moment of your life.

We are both dying and being reborn every moment. But we are unaware of what is happening within us. It happens all the time. We are unaware of the life force entering our body, as well as the life force leaving our body. Just see how unaware we are! It is a major transition; it only looks small. This is why we fail to notice it.

We are never actually in our bodies. We are always outside of ourselves. We pay attention to everything in the external world, but never take the time to look within ourselves. If you are at your center for even a single moment, you will notice this rebirth. To notice this will change your whole perspective of life. You will no longer see death as something far away from you. You will see death as right here; happening right now. And the very fear will disappear for you because it is happening all the time. And you can't call it death as you know it anymore!

Death is not death as you know it; it is just the life force which leaves your body. You start looking for a different body to express yourself. And this is what your so-called death is. Death has actually always been coming, but just because the life force did not leave you, you continued to live. To tell you honestly, you are reborn with every breath; you exhale death and inhale life.

Actually, if you see, your inhalation is very full, very alive. You do it fully, without holding back. But just see your exhalation. It is very shallow too shallow. It is not done as a total exhalation. When you inhale, you become fresh and alive; ready to move around. When you exhale, you become completely relaxed. You become quiet and still. It is death - nothing more.

Just try this. Inhale once, fully. Now, exhale totally.

You will notice that there is no holding back for you when it comes to inhalation. But you held back when you exhaled. This is because of the fear of death. Exhaling means death; it is death. It is relaxing into Existence.

It is like this: when you inhale, you are active; it is like you are preparing your bed. But when you exhale, you finally sleep in your bed.

The problem is that your mind cannot handle relaxation. It begins to feel uncomfortable. It will not allow you to sleep on this bed of yours! It always wants to be engaged in some activity or the other. But you go on making all possible excuses like, 'I'm so fed up! I need a vacation!'

Nonsense! And what vacation will you have? You don't even know how to relax, and you want a vacation? In your so-called vacation, what will you do? You will sit and worry there also! So what is the use of going to some beach and worrying? You might as well sit in the house and enjoy your worrying!

And this is always happening. You don't know how to relax. This is why there is such a huge suppression of death, of exhalation. The only reason is that we don't know how to relax.

Now you will ask, 'How to relax?'

Simply become aware. That's all! Become aware of every breath. Watch every exhalation and every inhalation. Don't miss even a single part of your breath.

Awareness brings in clarity. And worrying comes only when there is no clarity.

So with awareness, clarity comes; and with clarity, relaxation happens. Only when you have fully relaxed, complete exhalation will happen to you. I am not saying that the life force will stop. No! You will be completely balanced, that's all.

When this balance is there, you will be energetic and healthy, as well as relaxed and passive. You will be lively about things and at the same time be untouched by whatever happens. This is the way to be.

Yes.

I always think that I know. But I have come to find out that I don't know. I don't know anything. And even though I understand this, I still feel as if I know. Can You please give me an explanation for this?

There is actually no need to fall into a state such as I don't know. There are two things: either you know or you don't know. If you know, it is perfectly alright; if you don't know, then it is even better! But why are you sitting and unnecessarily worrying and simply creating problems for yourself thinking that you know or you don't know?

If you do know, be happy with that. Live happily. And if you don't know, then be happy with that also.

Even if you are not clear about whether you know or not, it does not matter. After all, whether you know or not is not the problem. When you don't know, you have the desire to know; when you know, you have the desire to feel as if you don't know! Either way, the desire will be there. So what can be done?

You must drop the very urge, the very craving to reach the state of knowing or not knowing. How to drop it? Be in between both of these states, that's all. Find a balance. You should know and the same time, not know. Now you will be wondering how to do this!

Do not think, 'I know a lot, but I think I know too much. I wish that I didn't know.' And at the same time, you should not think, 'I don't know anything, I wish that I knew. But in a way it is good that I don't know…'

These types of thoughts will be running through your head, is it not? So what I am telling you to do is to be in-between the two. Then automatically both will drop and it won't matter anymore. You will simply be spontaneous, that's all.

Simply be. Be in the moment. You should know, but don't know at the same time. And if the effort is made, the balance has to come.

It will come.

Yes.

I have been Your disciple for some time and You have given me so much. You have brought joy into my life. I have not been directly associated with You though; I have not gotten the chance to speak with You personally too often. But in the past week that I have been in the ashram continuously, I have been feeling the strong need to get personal guidance from You. And this strong need was reinforced during the sitting that I had with You this morning. Can You please comment on this?

You see: with the way you are growing, with the way gratitude is flowing from you, there is no need for personal guidance. In fact, you need to be more and more open to the impersonal Existence.

And I am with you, so why do you bother? For you, I am not needed, only you are needed. You are a service oriented person. Service is your path. Do not feel bad when you do not have some sort of special attention from me.

I always tell people: if you are continuously around me, if you receive attention from me, you will be with me. But if you are in some corner of the ashram, cleaning some bathroom, I will be with you.

So now I tell you, 'I am with you'. What more do you want?

Yes, to be with the master is beautiful. In fact, many people crave to be with Him. So much of confusion and politics happens amongst the devotees just to be with the master; so much of possessiveness and comparison takes place.

And after all, poor guy, how many people can he give attention to at one time?! And you fellows will be sitting and thinking, 'He is giving so much of space to him, and not to me. He must love him more.' Nonsense!

You see, as I said before, some people are service oriented. To these people, the master's attention will not be important, but spreading his mission will be. The mission will be their greatest love. Yes, these people love the master as well. Otherwise, how could they love his mission. But these people do not bother if the master gives space or not. And I tell you: your path is service. And you will see in your service that I will be with you. You may not be with me, but I will be with you. You will be able to feel my presence very clearly in each and everything that you do, every moment. In fact, you will be able to feel my presence in my absence and my absence in my presence. And this is what the master is. He is neither present nor absent; he just is.

So, never think that he is giving space to others and not to you. Never think this way. Understand, the master knows the energy of each and every person. If you need to be with the master in order to grow, it will happen. But if your growth will happen in the master's absence, he will see to it that it happens. So the master will behave accordingly with you. And it is not that he likes someone better than the other. Be very clear: it is only because he loves you that he is taking the time to work on you. Otherwise, why should he bother? He is working on you only because he wants to see you transformed.

And the master/disciple relationship is the deepest relationship that can ever happen on the planet Earth. You see: the master is neither mother, nor father; he is neither a beloved, nor a child; he is not a friend and he is not even the Guru. He is all of these and something more. All of these many dimensions will be felt at some point in time. And sometimes, you will feel all of them at the same time.

It is a relationship like no other. So do not miss me just because of an attention-need. You must be very clear: I am with you. Lose yourself in service to the mission and you will see me there with you.

Yes.

Is there a relationship between silence and bliss? Can You speak about this?

Does silence come first and everything else follows? Is silence the only thing that is important?

Actually, there is no difference between silence and bliss. They are just two names for the same thing. To be silent is to be blissful. It may give a different explanation in the dictionary, but in reality, at the experiential level, they are one and the same.

When you become silent, you will have no worries, no inner chatter. There will be no tension whatsoever. If all of these emotions are there, how can you be silent? So, when all of these emotions and problems are gone and silence enters, then naturally bliss will follow! They are almost the same thing because they happen at the same time.

One thing: the silence which happens to you should not be forced. It should simply arise without effort. If you force the mind to be silent, there will only be emptiness; there will be no bliss. It will be like the silence of a well kept and dead garden.

The meditative silence is different. This is the silence which I am talking about. This is the silence where bliss simply oozes out of every cell of your body. It is the silence wherein your very blood boils with bliss.

So, if your silence is not bringing bliss, be very clear that your silence is not what I am talking about. It is just forced; it is not spontaneous. In meditation, silence comes completely by itself. There is no need for you to force it onto yourself.

I will tell you how to do this: Just go on watching the mind. Watch every thought, every impulse. Do not go behind a thought and do not stop the thought flow. You just remain a witness to whatever the mind wants to do. Do this without even the least bit of expectation that silence will come. Only when you do this will silence come, like a breeze from the sky.

It will come and never leave you.

Yes.

I have been noticing that the longing within me to go beyond the mind and experience something a bit more from what I already know has been growing and growing every day. But it is beginning to seem like such a long process; does it have to be this way?

It is only when you succeed does everything feel meaningless. In failure, there is still hope that everything will work out. But in success there is no hope. When you have already attained everything in the external world that needs to be attained, you feel as if you have come to a dead end; that there is nothing more to achieve, and you begin to wonder where else to go. This is what I call 'depression of success'.

In this depression, you simply feel hopeless. You feel as if there is nowhere else to go. And this feeling rises to such a peak, that it all of a sudden becomes clear to you: the thing that was missing in you was yourself. You begin to realize the meaninglessness of the whole outer world quest. And I tell you honestly, to be in such a state is the greatest blessing. Depression of success is the greatest blessing. Now you may be wondering, 'how can depression be a blessing?' While in this depression, you understand the meaninglessness of your whole life. You understand that what you have been running for all the time was of no use. You run and run until you have nowhere else to go. You have come to a dead end. Then what happens? You turn inwards.

You just stop the whole rat race. It becomes clear to you all of a sudden. You understand what the mind has done to you. You understand the nonsensical emotions that it goes on creating in you. You understand the unnecessary suffering that it creates. And this one understanding is enough to take you beyond the mind. At this point there will be no question of how to go beyond the mind; you simply cannot remain in the mind any longer.

See as of now, you are only within the boundaries of the mind because you are not clear. You do not understand that all of your sufferings are caused by it. Because you don't understand, you go on throwing the responsibility of your sufferings onto someone else. You say, 'It is all because of her; it is all because of him.' This is nonsense! You are not seeing that the cause of your suffering is the one thing that you trust most – your mind.

Once you understand that it is the mind's work that has created all these negative emotions in you, the mind will simply disappear; it has to disappear. Then there will be no need for this longing to go beyond the mind; there will be no desire for it. You don't have to do anything else just this one understanding is enough. Understand the cause for your suffering; nothing more is needed; you will simply drop the mind. There will be no second thought about it. You will drop the mind and the mind will drop you.

First of all, be very clear: your desire to go beyond the mind is from the mind. Your longing to go beyond the mind is from the mind. Your urge to have some deep spiritual experience is from the mind. When you realize this, where does your so-called longing stand? Nowhere at all! Your mind wants to drop itself, yet it is your mind that is fighting back. Do you understand how the mind is tricking you?

It is the nature of the mind to ask for all possible forms of nonsensical things. The mind will always ask for more; that is its very nature. The mind is the only thing that will never be fulfilled. There is no such thing as fulfilling the mind, yet the mind is always looking to be fulfilled.

So, try to understand what the mind is. Look at the way in which it works. Look into every corner of your mind and try to see exactly where all of these passions, all of these desires actually come from. Only when you understand where they come from will you actually understand that they are from the mind. Otherwise you will just sit here and look at me and nod your head. And then after the talk is over, what will you do? You will go back home and when I ask you tomorrow what I spoke about today, you will simply look at me! So I want you to first understand these truths for yourself. When a desire comes up, when anger arises, see exactly where it is coming from. Only when you become clear about this, will you be able to drop the mind.

It is like this: when you see that your house is on fire, what do you do? You do not sit and contemplate; you do not consult any ancient scripture for guidance. No! You simply jump out of the house. Whether you jump out of a door or window doesn't matter for you. Your house is on fire, so you get out! There is nothing more to it.

In the same way, understand that your mind is the culprit. It is the reason for all of your suffering, yet you still tag along with it. Understand this. Then you will automatically drop it.

So, understand what the mind is; understand what it is doing to you. This one understanding is enough; the mind will be dropped with no effort whatsoever.

Yes.

When I first started meditating, I had many beautiful experiences. They were very intense. But time has passed and I am no longer having these experiences. And yes, I can feel the expectation within me. And I also realize that in the beginning, when I was having experiences, I had no expectations at all. Now, I am wondering where these experiences have gone. Also, how can I become innocent again with no expectations?

See, your question itself has the answer inside. You said that when you did have experiences you had no expectations. So, don't you see? It is these expectations that are stopping you from experiencing anything more.

And you are looking for a method, aren't you? You have asked, 'How can I become innocent again with no expectations?'

To tell you honestly, if I give you a method, it will only make things more complicated. And this is only because you will be doing the technique with the expectation to experience something which cannot be expected!

This is the problem, with not only you but with almost everyone who meditates. You have an experience and then you go on wanting more. Enjoy the experience and simply move on. Don't try to cling to it. One more thing: are you happy or not when you meditate even without experiences? Obviously you are, otherwise you would have dropped meditation long back! So if you are enjoying, just enjoy the fact that you are enjoying! Do not bother about where these experiences have gone. What is the use of bothering about it? What are you getting out of holding on to it?

Life itself is like a river. It is like this: when you keep your hands in a river and try to grab the water, try to posses it, what happens? The water will not stay with you. It will vanish right before your eyes. But if put your hands in the river and allow the water to flow over them, what happens? If you keep you palms open, what happens? The water will simply flow through you. And only when you allow it to do this, will you have all of the water.

Your experiences happen in the same way. If you allow your experiences to come and go whenever needed, they will do so freely. But if you go on wondering about how to make them come back to you, they will only move away from you; they will never come towards you. Do you understand?

You like meditating, don't you? You love the silence. Then, what more do you need? Feel good that you have this silence. Feel refreshed with this silence.

Initially, it will be there; the desire for more experiences than you already have will be there. But when you go deeper, when your meditation takes you deeper, you will forget these experiences. The silence will be so alive, so fresh, that experiences won't seem to matter.

Yes, if experiences do come, you should enjoy them but then move on. You should not cling to them. But even if you crave for silence, be sure that it will not happen. You will only be preventing it from happening.

So, enjoy what is happening to you right now. Do not cling on to something which has already happened. What is happening to you is by itself beautiful; so enjoy it!

Just move deeper into it.

You cannot expect the unexpected. It has to simply happen. The whole of Existence is waiting for you to experience it. Just move into it with no expectations whatsoever.

Yes.

I have found that when I sit in Your presence listening to You, I feel much more silence than I do when I meditate. And then when You stop talking, everything just stops and I get a glimpse of the true meditative state. So, my question is, why do I become silent in Your presence more easily than I do when I meditate?

Actually, this is something that happens not only to you, but to many people. Even people who are not in my presence but simply listen to a recording of my discourses; even they feel the same way.

Almost everyone who has sat with me and listened to me even once has felt this. And I am not like any other speaker. Have you heard even a single speaker speak the way I do? Even if we talk about exactly the same thing, will it feel the same? No! The whole mood is different. This is because other speakers have a different purpose altogether. They have rehearsed what they are going to say. They are just repeating the same thing that they have already rehearsed. There is no spontaneity in what they say.

But with me, it is totally different. Talk with some of the people who are continuously around me; they will tell you. When I am sitting in the car getting ready to go for the talk, I ask them what the topic for the discourse I am going to deliver is. So there is no question of preparing at all.

And this is why my talks are so different. It creates a different mood altogether. I myself don't know the next word that I am going to speak. I just watch myself and the words flow from somewhere. This is the reason why there are no mistakes; no mistakes because there is no preparation. A mistake will only happen if the person has prepared. And I don't forget anything either. A person forgets only when he has tried to remember something. And to speak with no preparation is such a big freedom. You don't know what words will come next. You, the speaker are also like the audience waiting and listening to what is going to be said next!

I am not at all concerned about whether the flow is there or not. Normal speakers will bother about their consistency, about being logical. But it is not like that for me. I am not bothered about the flow because the flow will flow by itself. If trust is there, a deep trust about the flow, about the words, they will come. Nothing has to be done; the words will come automatically. You must just have the receptivity and the trust that the flow will happen on its own.

You see: the purpose for my words is itself different. The only reason why normal speakers create words is to influence or convert you into their ideology. But my purpose is different. I only create words for the gaps that come in between each word. This is the only reason why I am able to talk continuously. The words which I speak are not important, only the gaps are. I am not bothered about what I speak. This is why I often sound totally illogical. I am not at all concerned with the words; only the gaps. The words are only to convince you. They are only there to make you stay on and listen. I do not mean, 'stay on and listen to the words'. No! Stay on and listen to the gaps.

If you can become aware of these gaps, you can simply be put into the gap. These gaps are only silence, nothing more. But you only cling onto the words; you are not aware of the gaps which hold the silence. And then you will ask, 'How to become silent?' I have been sitting there in front of you for hours together giving you so many opportunities to grab the silence, and you ask me how to become silent!

What can be done? You must become aware of the silence; this is the only way to receive it.

I am not telling you to ignore my words either. You should listen to that as well; it will do you some good. But be fully aware of the gaps that come. Do not miss even a single one. This is the way for the mind to really become silent.

But somehow, we always think that it is not possible for the mind to remain silent. But how can you not think that it is possible without even trying? You must give it a try. Actually, it is not that we do not know how to remain silent. I am giving you the methods all the time, so there is no question of not knowing. It is just laziness. You want to remain nice and secure; you do not want to move. You don't want to take the initial step further. You expect the step to come to you! You must go, you must try, only then is anything possible.

I have had people come to me and ask, 'Please put me into a meditative state; please silence my mind.'

Understand: I cannot force you to become silent; that is your job. I can only give you a device to become silent. I can only give you the key. You must open the door. I have played with the keys and I had a bundle of about 1000 keys with only one door. I had to play with each key; I had to try each key until I came to the right one. And only then did the door open. But for you it is different. I am here to give you the key. I am giving you the key right now. All you need to do is open the door.

So understand: my presence is not the only thing that is required to put you into silence. The gaps are enough. The gaps in between the words are enough. The gaps are there only for you to grasp, to become aware of. Because you miss the gaps in between the words, the long gaps in between the sentences will be added. But you miss that too! What can be done?

So at least now, don't miss. Don't miss the gaps. Become aware of the gaps.

(a long pause) Were you aware? (He laughs)

Alright, thank you.

When I experience awareness, I feel intoxicated. It is almost as if I am drunk with bliss, with the divine. But it is not drunkenness at all; it is not at all unconsciousness. It is total awareness. Is this just an illusion, or is it really the divine?

First, you must understand one thing: in your English dictionary, intoxication and divinity are two completely different things, but at the experiential level, they are the same. You are right; it is not at all unawareness. It is an overflowing of awareness.

Initially, you will feel as if you are drunk in bliss, but you will be able to see the difference very clearly. Normally, in drunkenness, you will not have enough awareness to understand that you are drunk. But on the level which you are experiencing, even during the experience, you will be able to feel the drunkenness. This is the difference.

You begin to feel intoxicated with consciousness. It is so much that your body cannot withstand it. It is bigger than you. And you then feel as if it is simply overflowing from every pore of your being. In the beginning, it comes as such a sudden rush that you feel as if you will lose control. This is why you say that you feel drunk.

This is because when you are experiencing intense awareness, you simply forget the mind. The whole world seems dream-like and beautiful. You lose your ego, you lose your mind and you lose your worries. This is why it feels as if you are intoxicated. The same sort of experience happens to you during intoxication, but there is a difference. It will not be blissful. And even if it is, it will wear off in a few hours and you become depressed. But this is not the case with awareness; it is not the case with consciousness. Once you become truly aware, it will not leave you; there will be growth in your consciousness. Even when the experience passes, clarity will still remain; you will not fall into depression.

You see: any normal drug will just make you unconscious and that is why it feels as if you are walking on the clouds. But meditation brings awareness; it brings consciousness. But understand: the reason for you feeling as if you are overflowing with something is because consciousness is so intense that you are bound to feel as if it doesn't fit inside you. You begin to feel as if consciousness is simply flowing from you. And in the beginning it may feel overwhelming. Yes, and this is why you are using the word 'intoxicating'.

Drugs only make you unconscious; they only give you a few hours of forgetfulness. And then once you come out of it, you become even more depressed than you were when you started. And you begin to crave what was once upon a time there.

What you are experiencing is the Divine. It is awareness, pure awareness. Awareness cuts the very root of misery. It cuts the very thread from which misery starts.

It is a beautiful experience. There is no illusion in it. What you are experiencing is not an illusion. It is completely experiential. Actually, it has nothing to do with intoxicants. It is only in the beginning that you will feel like this. And the truth is that this is the real illusion. Feeling intoxicated is the real illusion. It is just like the cover of a brand new car. It may look different from what it is on the inside. But only when you take off the cover and drive it around you will understand what a beautiful thing it is.

So take this experience and drive it for some time. Give it time and you will understand its reality; rather, its reality will be revealed to you.

Yes.

Every time You speak on our unique individuality, I am touched. But I think I am sometimes getting confused between individuality and personality. Is individuality something to do with genetics or is it something to do with our very essence? And is there any technique that You can teach us to come to know about our individuality?

Actually, this is a common misunderstanding. Every-one misunderstands individuality and personality.

Personality is that which is given to you by society. It is all the culture and civilization which society has given you. Basically it is the input which you have received from other people. It is this input that creates your personality.

If you have observed small children, you will understand. Their personalities are not yet developed. This is why they are so full, so sincere in everything that they do. They are authentic.

Try one thing: think back to your earliest memory. It would probably be when you were three or four; at the most three. Before three there is just a thick blank. You don't remember anything at all. It is not that you weren't there during those three years. You were there, so why is there no memory? It is because you had no personality. During those three years, society had not yet put its marks on you. You were completely pure and total. Everything that you did, you finished then and there. You were fully in the present. There was no past or future for you then; there was only now.

You don't know who you are; you don't know your individuality. For you to actually know yourself, you must dig deep through all of the dirt, all of the conditioning which you have accumulated. You have to become a child again. Unless this happens, unless you put your whole personality aside, individuality will not happen. Individuality happens only when personality vanishes. When you go on holding on to your personality, you will completely misunderstand me.

You see: with your personality, you are seeing through your logic. All your books will come inside your head. Then the situation at hand will simply be like reading a book. If this is the case, sit and happily read your books; what is the use of coming and uselessly sitting in front of me? Drop all your nonsensical personality! Only when you do this, will there even be a chance of your individuality being revealed to you.

You will only misunderstand me if you look through the eyes of your personality. Your mind will make its own interpretations of whatever I say.

And you don't know anything of yourself except for your personality. What do you know of yourself? If I ask you who you are, what is the first thing that comes into your mind? First thing, you will think of your name or age or your gender. Just see how much you identify yourself with your personality! But this is not what you are. First of all, you came into this world without a name, so how can you only be a small five letter word?

So as of now, all that you know about yourself is your personality. But it is your individuality that you are, but have yet to realize. Meditation is the route to understanding who you are. It is an effort to get rid of the personality and reach your individuality. And this is the real you. It is what you have been since eternity. You have had your individuality since you were born and even before you were born. It is your essential consciousness that has been covered with so much of dirt and now you have to dig it up. And this is what meditation is about: digging through your social conditionings until you finally reach what has to be reached. It is a process of going on digging until you reach your individuality. You see: every life adds more and more dirt; the pile becomes deeper and deeper.

So understand: your individuality is immortal. It is your personality that is mortal. Your personality depends on other people. And this is the reason that you are afraid of other people and why you always bother about what the other person thinks. You are only bothered about opinions and appreciation from others. You never simply relax and allow people to think as they want. That is the problem.

So, your personality is the culprit for creating all these false ideas. It is the reason for all the nonsense which you call reality. So remember one thing: whatever you have learned, whatever society has taught you is simply false. It is not reality; it is not you. It is only what you think you are. It is your personality. So now, you must find your individuality; you must find your innocence.

You said, But I think I am sometimes getting confused between the two: individuality and personality… No ma, you are always confused about the two, not sometimes! I say this because if you knew your individuality even for a second, there would never be this confusion. Once you have experienced the real, how can you go back to thinking that the false is real? Once you have known the real, the false would have disappeared from you altogether. So be clear: if you are caught in this 'sometimes', what you have thought about as 'individuality' was simply your personality projected in a different way.

If you have known your individuality even for a moment, it is enough. Even a single second is enough to finish off your personality. Once your individuality is revealed to you, your personality simply cannot come back again.

Individuality is real; it is uniqueness; it is freedom; it liberates you. But personality is societal; it is pseudo; it is binding. Express your individuality; become a unique experience that you truly are.

Thank you.

Part 4: The Only Way Out Is In

Beloved Master,

There is so much of magnificence in my ocean of experiences. And really, it is like an ocean. Waves keep coming. But although they keep coming, I still run for dry land. Is there a technique that You can tell me about to just let the ocean take me away and drown me?

Why are you running? When the ocean is descending upon you, why are you running away from it? And then when nothing happens, when there is no experience, you say, 'Nothing is coming. Give me some experience.' Do not run from what is coming to you.

And to tell you honestly, our very root is from the ocean. It is the very source of our life; not only from the physical ocean but from the spiritual ocean as well. So when you are running from the ocean, be clear that you are simply running away from your self; your essence.

It is not like this ocean has just now come. It is not like these waves have just started coming. They have just now been discovered by you. The waves have always been there; they have always been coming. And this ocean, this spiritual ocean of consciousness, is very much like the physical ocean: waves upon waves. It is unending joy, unending bliss; bliss upon bliss.

So what is the need for you to run? Actually, it is not only you, but everyone. Everyone is afraid of something bigger than themselves. This is because the bliss will simply drown you; the 'you' will just disappear. That is why there is fear.

There is no technique that I can give you; there is no technique for drowning. The ocean will do the job. But you must allow the ocean to take over you. You shouldn't run; you should allow it to happen. Just remain silent and allow the ocean to do its work on you. Do not become afraid of what is going to happen next. This is the whole problem; you become afraid.

Your mind always wants everything to be familiar, nice and cozy. It does not want anything to come and disturb its nice coziness. And this is another reason for your fear. Obviously, if the ocean takes over you, everything will change. Nothing will remain familiar to you; everything will be indefinite. Your ego will be threatened. Now, in a way, your ego feels safe that nothing bigger than you is taking over.

Remember one thing: unless you people come out of this running attitude, you will simply miss everything that is of any value. You will miss the essence of love; you will only find yourself running away from it. Love is bigger than you; it is overwhelming. You will simply run away from the truth. But you will stick with your falsity, with your cozy lies. You see: lies are smaller than you, so you are very comfortable with them. You yourself have created them, so how can they be bigger than you? But truth has not been created by you; instead it has created you. It is bigger than you. This is why you feel uncomfortable any time you cross it.

You can really know yourself only if you allow the ocean to drown you. You should simply drown in love, in silence, in ecstasy. There is no other way of knowing yourself unless you are taken over by the very source of life.

The whole of life is oceanic. To be in the water, to be in the ocean, is like being back at your source. It gives you freshness and rejuvenation. So, there is no way that I can teach you to learn how to drown. First of all, there is no need for all of that. All that you must learn is how to sit silently and watch yourself drown into Existence. Do not run away from it. It is like this: when there is a flood, do you see houses coming and asking, 'Teach me how to drown?' No! They simply drown, that's all. Now the ocean has come to you, the waves have come to you; simply allow them to drown you. That is all that is needed. There is no need for anyone to teach you. Simply accept the call of something bigger than you.

One more thing: even if you try to escape, you will not get far. You have been around me for so long that you will not even be able to escape. Even if you run for dry land, remember, I will be there. Even if I am not physically there, you will feel some force there, pulling you back. The ashram gates are always open, but once you come in, you are in; that's all. Even if you go out for some time, you somehow manage to come back in. Why? Because Existence is calling you back. The waves are pushing you back. They do not want you to miss. So, there is no need to run away; you are simply wasting time!

For so many lives you have been running away from the ocean. You have been running for dry land. Now run towards the ocean. It is waiting for you. It is waiting for you to jump in. The waves are pushing you.

Jump in. The waves will carry you away.

I read somewhere that there were two types of memory; a factual memory and a spiritual memory. Are there really two types? And if so, is there a connection between the two?

Yes, there are two types of memory. But they are not the two types which you are thinking. There is something like factual memory and then there are psychological memories.

How could there be any such thing as spiritual memory? Spirituality is your spirit, your being; it has no past and no future. It is always in the present. There are no dreams and no imagination; so how could there be memories?

Your spirituality is Existence, nothing more. The past is dead and dull and doesn't even exist any more. It was once there, yes, but it is not anymore. So just imagine: we are continuously holding on to something that is not even there!

So be clear: there can never be a spiritual memory. But yes, there are two types of memories. You must understand the difference between the two very clearly. If it is a factual memory, you will remain only a watcher. If someone shouted at you yesterday, if someone insulted you and if you simply remember it as someone just shouting at you, it is a factual memory. But if you are still upset, if you still want revenge on the person, then it is a psychological memory.

A person can have factual memories only if he remains a witness throughout the whole incident. He can drop his emotional attachment only if he was aware at that time. This is because when a person is aware, he experiences whatever is happening totally. Then when it is over, the bondage to that memory has left him. He carries no emotional hangovers. And this is such a freedom. That is why I am again and again telling you to remain aware and witness the whole thing. But you people will think, 'He is simply saying these things! He can do all of this, but not us.' What nonsense! You are capable of doing it; that is why I am telling you. I am not simply talking to you continuously and wasting time for no reason. There is a meaning for me to tell you to be aware.

So be clear on the difference between the two types of memories. Factual memories come only with awareness. And the more and more aware you become, the more detached you become. All of your memories will become factual. Every memory will become clear because your emotions will no longer cloud what is already there. The same person who insulted you yesterday will not bother you. You will speak to him as if nothing has happened. As a fact, you know that he has insulted you, but you will not feel as if he has done anything to harm you or hurt you.

Once your memories become factual, you will not feel as if the situation is happening to you. The whole memory will appear to be happening to someone else, but it will be vivid. If the memory was psychological, it would feel like it was happening to you. You would feel identified with it.

So, a factual memory is like the memory of a computer. It does not mean anything to you, but it will still be clear. But a psychological memory is what you identify yourself with.

Your head, your logical head, is what carries all of these psychological memories. As you go on meditating, these memories will be erased. Then, you will be left only with factual memories. And this is what we mean by being enlightened. A man with no psychological memories is enlightened.

As per my understanding, there are many ways to go beyond the mind. Is psychological therapy one of these ways?

There is only one thing that can lead you beyond the mind: meditation. Psychological therapy can help you understand the mind, but it cannot lead you beyond the mind. So, it cannot lead you directly into the experience but it can help to give you the understanding.

It is like a garden. Psychotherapy is like laying out the soil, but it is not the garden itself. You have to remove the weeds and all the unnecessary dirt. Psychotherapy can do this. But it is meditation that plants the seeds. If you take care of these seeds, they will blossom into beautiful flowers.

Psychotherapy is a good cleaning method, but nothing more than that. In order to go beyond the mind, mediation is necessary. Once you have gone beyond the mind, you have realized your being; you have understood yourself. Meditation is the only possibility for creating the space for going beyond the mind.

You see: there is nothing wrong with psychotherapy. In fact it is good, but only at the initial level. It is good to start with, but it is not an ending. It is a good start for understanding the mind. But in the West, it has been thought of as an end. It has been used as an end. This is why psychotherapy, especially in the West, never feels complete. In the beginning, it brings much clarity; it is a good stepping stone. But when you continue, you are doing nothing useful. It will feel like moving in a circle. The whole point is to get to the end, but where is the question of an end in a circle? Understand? There is no end in a circle. This is why psychotherapy should only be used as a stepping stone and not the final step.

Psychotherapy can be helpful, but it can also be dangerous. It can create a wall between you and the divine. It will help you realize that there is something beyond the mind, but it will not lead you out of the mind. You must be aware of this.

Yes.

Of late, I am able to relax and go deeper within myself. But for some reason, there seems to be a fear, a trembling that I feel could cloud the bliss of life. Does my ego need nourishment?

I have been telling you again and again to drop the ego. Have you even been listening to me, I wonder! I am telling you to drop the ego and here you are asking me if your ego needs nourishment! What are you talking?

You are saying that you are feeling relaxed more within yourself and then you are asking whether your ego needs nourishment. That will only destroy whatever relaxation you have. Not only that, it will stop this feeling of going inwards also. In fact, it will make this trembling that you are feeling stronger. If you are nourishing the ego, then you are only making it stronger. You are giving it more space. And if you do this, how will it ever leave you? If you are nourishing the ego, you are doing something against what you have been working for; to go beyond.

Ego is your falsity; it is not the truth. And if you have experienced silence, then you will understand. You should simply cut off this complete nourishing process. Just let it die. The death of your ego marks the beginning of your reality. But if you sit and nourish your ego, it becomes stronger. Then you are moving farther and farther away from reality.

This question that you are asking really makes me wonder about how much you have been listening. People only listen to what they want to hear, not to what is actually being said. Your mind interferes and doesn't let my words penetrate. My words should strike you; they should go straight to your being. But your mind comes in and does not allow what is being said to go past your head. And whatever actually sticks to your mind is the edited version. It has already been scanned by your mind; it is the distorted version. And it sometimes happens that what goes in is the complete opposite of what I am saying.

You must learn how to listen; not only you but everyone. And it is an art, a difficult one. This is because everyone thinks that they know it. They think that just because they can hear, they can listen. Be clear: they are two different things. Just because your dictionaries say they have the same meanings, does not mean that they are the same thing. You see: the capacity to hear only has to do with your ears. But the capacity to listen has to do with something beyond your ears. It involves a quiet mind, with no chatter. If there is a noisy mind, you are bound to have misunderstanding.

And one more thing: listening does not mean that you have to agree or disagree with what I am saying. This is what you are doing. You only hear what you want to hear. Listening means to simply sit, with no chatter, and to just absorb whatever is being said. So, the two are very different - listening and hearing. Listening is from the being with no judgments; hearing is from the mind with all possible judgments!

There is one thing that you must understand: the being is much deeper than the mind. Whatever has to reach the being goes through your idiotic mind first. And by the time it reaches, many things have already happened to it. It has already become distorted.

So in order to totally listen or be, in order to imbibe everything that I want to say, you must drop your mind. It is the only way.

A small story:

A Master and his disciple were sitting together and talking. The Master pointed to a big stone and asked his disciple to tell him whether it was inside or outside of his mind. The disciple replied, 'Our Vedic teachings tell us that everything is a projection of the mind. So the stone must be inside my mind.'

The Master then remarked, 'Don't you get tired of carrying such a heavy weight?'

And this is really the way in which you are living. You are always carrying such a heavy load in that head of yours that you don't see what is really there. You miss the reality of the whole thing; you miss the truth.

So, you must drop the mind to realize the reality. You will be able to truly listen without missing anything only if the mind is not there. And once you begin to listen, you will simply be transformed.

Beloved Master,

I have heard You speak to us a lot about grace. It seems to be such a beautiful word with a beautiful meaning although I find that I know very little about it. Can You please speak a little about it?

One of the greatest mysteries of life is grace. It can never be created. Be clear; if it is created grace, it is false, not real. Grace must come by itself. It will come as a flowering of your being.

You see: when your meditation rises to its peak, many things come with it: silence, compassion, bliss. The effect of silence, compassion and bliss is grace. So when these things happen in you, their effect on your physical body is grace which will radiate from every cell of your being.

Even if the person is not physically beautiful, a different kind of beauty will be radiated from within. This beauty is what we call grace.

It is like a lamp. The flame is inside. Until the flame is lit, you will only be bothered about the glass. You pass comments on people, 'She is beautiful and he is ugly.' What nonsense! This is only the glass which you are seeing. Only when the inner flame is lit will the beauty actually be seen. This is what I mean by grace: your inner beauty, your inner flame. This inner flame is much greater than the body. This light will radiate throughout the body and then the body will not matter anymore. There will be a different light, a beautiful aura, surrounding you.

And grace is such a beautiful thing which has been misunderstood. Grace is not outward beauty as you think; it is from within. Every cell of your body radiates this beauty. Your eyes will simply radiate this new silence, this new ecstasy. When you speak, it will not sound like any spoken language, but like music; a tremendous and vibrant silence will radiate from your words. In fact, even when you shout with anger, it will sound like poetry! Actually, in the ashram, there are some three or four ashramites continuously doing only this. When I shout at someone, they will sit and laugh. When I laugh, then they will simply stare at me. What am I to do?

Anyhow, ordinary words will start sounding like great scriptures because your inner experience is what gives the authority.

It is like a container filled with chocolates. With the chocolates or without the chocolates, the container is the same. When the chocolates are inside, the container seems very interesting and juicy. Without the chocolates, the container seems like nothing.

You are like this. Physically, you may be the same, but before and after grace has happened in you, there will be a big difference. Once you attain bliss, the same words that you utter will have a new meaning altogether. The container is the same, but the content has changed. The new content will not be in the words, but in the body language. Everything that you do will have a certain beauty to it, which is what is called grace. And this grace will not be external; it will be internal.

What is inside will radiate outside. Just see: if a person is restless and talkative internally, what will they radiate? Their whole body language will always look as if they are in a hurry. They will never be able to relax. But if a person is blissful and silent within, they will radiate grace. They will always look calm no matter what.

If a man has a graceful aura, it will be so radiant and filled with what he is experiencing, that you will forget about his physical beauty. He will look beautiful from a completely different plane.

Actually, the only reason that you are not radiating this grace is because of your restlessness, your impatience. Impatience is the only thing that makes you ugly. You must learn to wait. You must learn to trust Existence. Existence will take care, so why do you worry? Worrying is just one more dimension of impatience.

Simply trust Existence. There should be no thoughts, no moods, only a deep awareness. Grace is bound to come. But do not expect grace to come and announce to you that it has come! It will come like a whisper. You will suddenly begin to feel it within. You will feel it in your movements. You will feel it in your speech. It will simply surround you; it will be with you everywhere you go.

Simply wait. It will come.

Beloved Master,

I don't know why, but all of a sudden, I am starting to doubt my reality. How can I trust what I know about myself, because what I know about myself doesn't feel like me. Please tell me: what am I?

You are just beginning to understand! You are right: what you know about yourself is false. In fact, it is completely the opposite of what you are. And you are asking me to tell you what you are. You see: I have been trying to show you, to give you the experience. It is only you who is holding back!

A small story:

There was once a lioness. She was pregnant and was about to give birth. One day she was hunting for food, when she saw a flock of sheep. She jumped to attack. At the very moment of jumping, she delivered. But the effort was just too much for her and because of this, she died. The flock of sheep felt bad for the new born cub because now he had no mother. They decided to bring up the cub. The cub grew up eating grass, bleating like a sheep, and even acquired a fear of lions! He didn't even realize that he himself was a lion!

One day, a lion spotted the flock of sheep while they were grazing and decided to attack. In amongst the sheep, he saw the cub. He was surprised. He caught hold of the cub and took him into the forest. The whole time, the cub was crying, 'Put me down. Don't eat me. Please take me back!'

Then finally the lion became disgusted and said, 'Fool! I will not eat you. You yourself are a lion.'

The cub was not able to believe what he heard. So the lion, having no choice took the cub back to the flock of sheep.

Everyday, the same scene would happen. Each time, the cub trusted the lion a little more. He slowly began to enjoy the lion's company.

One day, the cub was waiting for the lion with a hand full of the best grass which he had collected as a gift to the lion. As usual the lion

came, but when the cub offered the grass, the lion said, 'Come with me.'

He took the cub to a pond and told him to look at both of their reflections. 'What do you see? Look, here is me and here is you.'

The cub still denied what he saw. 'No, no they are both you. I am a sheep!'

At that moment the lion stuffed a piece of meat into the cub's mouth. Slowly, the cub started tasting the blood, and started enjoying it. Suddenly, it realized that it was a lion and let out a roar.

The lion said, 'So now you realize what you are! You see: you and I are one and the same.'

Now do you understand?

I am again and again telling you to look at who you are. But consciously or unconsciously, you run away from the truth. Whether you know it or not, accept it or not, you and I are one and the same.

Now I am telling you: look at your reflection. It is what you are. It is your reality. Now you will ask, 'How do I look at myself?'

Meditation creates the inner mirror. It gives you the capacity to look at yourself. I am not talking about the self which you think you are. I am talking about your inner self; the real you.

So, look within - at yourself. Understand what you are. Experience what you are. Only when you experience what you are, will you understand that it has been with you all the time. It has only been covered by your falsity.

Now uncover it.

Now look.

You will understand.

Thank you.

About THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM

It was under the glow of the spiritual magnet Arunachala in the energy center of Tiruvannamalai in South Bharat, that THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM was born - as Rajasekharan, to Arunachalam and Lokanayaki on 1 January, 1978. The family astrologer predicted that he would be a king amongst holy men.

At the age of 3, THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM was associated with Yogiraj Raghupati Maharaj, a yoga guru who took him through rigorous training and prepared his body, with apparent foresight into the energy explosion that was going to happen in the young body. From the age of 5,

THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM took to deity worship with great passion. He showed profound commitment to the rituals he practiced with the deities. Just a few years later, he came in touch with Mataji Kuppammal, a deeply pious lady who initiated him into Vedanta and Tantra and started his scriptural learning at that young age. Encountering many mystics from the town of Tiruvannamalai, he received esoteric teachings from them.

At the age of 12, he had his first deep spiritual experience: while sitting on a rock on the Arunachala hillock, he suddenly had a 360 degree panoramic vision, and experienced becoming one with everything around him. This experience further inspired him to forge ahead in his journey inwards.

Academics at school and polytechnic came naturally for THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM. With only the attention he gave in classes, he passed all his grades with distinction. He obtained a diploma degree in Mechanical Engineering from a leading private Polytechnic in Tamilnadu.

At the age of 17, he left home driven by the irresistible urge to jump into the real life that he was seeking. He wandered through the length and breadth of Bharat and Nepal, studying Eastern metaphysical sciences and meeting many masters and mystics. He visited many great shrines, ranging from the Himalayas in the North, to

Kanyakumari in the South, from Dwaraka in the West to Ganga Sagar in the East. After enduring intense meditation and other austerities, he attained eternal inner bliss…the state of nithyananda. At the age of 22, Rajasekharan became THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM.

Today, THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM is an inspiring personality for millions of people worldwide. From his experience of the Truth he has formulated and makes available the Technology of Bliss to every individual. His methods empower us to be physically and mentally fit, with sound spiritual strength in both the inner and outer worlds. Millions of people around the world have experienced radical transformation through his techniques in short periods of time.

THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM gives the tools to live a creative and productive life, guided by intuition and intelligence, rather than by intellect or instinct. He shows the way to excellence in the outer world and radiance in the inner world at the same time. His programs guide one to fall into the natural space known as meditation.

He says, 'Meditation is the master key that can bring

success in the material world, and deep fulfillment in your space within.' His powerful techniques and processes that comprise the meditative programs help the flowering and expansive explosion of the individual consciousness.

THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM cooperates with scientists and researchers the world over, to record mystic phenomena through scientific data. He intrigues the world of medical science with results from his own neurological system. From the astounding observations, scientists feel that the potential for altering the rates and progression of diseases like heart ailments, cancer, arthritis, alcoholism, etc. are beginning to look achievable.

THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM Mission is THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM's worldwide movement for meditation and transformation. Established in the year 2003, the Mission continues to transform humanity through transformation of the individual.

THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM Mission ashrams and THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM Mission ashrams and centers worldwide serve as spiritual laboratories where inner growth is profound and outer growth is a natural consequence. These academies are envisioned to be a place and space to explore and explode, through a host of activities, from meditation to science. They offer Quantum Spirituality, where material and spiritual worlds merge and create blissful living; where creative intelligence stems from deep consciousness. THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM Dhyanapeetam is the THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM Dhyanapeetam spiritual wing that takes care of the spiritual activities of the mission.

Many projects are in development at the various academies worldwide; and new academies are being established to provide services in varied fields to humanity at large.

A diverse range of

meditation programs and social services are offered worldwide through the Foundation. Free energy healing through the Nithya Spiritual Healing system, free education to youth, encouragement to art and culture, satsangs (spiritual circles), personality development programs, corporate programs, free medical camps and eye surgeries, free meals at all ashrams worldwide, a one-year free residential spiritual training program in Bharat called the Life Bliss Technology, an in-house Gurukul system of learning for children, and many more services are offered around the world.

Ananda Sevaks of the Nithya Dheera Seva Sena (NDSS) volunteer force comprising growing numbers of dedicated volunteers around the world, support the mission with great enthusiasm.

Life Bliss Foundation is the teachings wing of THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM Mission that offers specialized meditation programs worldwide, to benefit millions of people at the levels of body, mind and spirit. A few of them are listed below:

A chakra workout program that relaxes and energizes the seven major chakras in your system. It gives clear intellectual and experiential understanding of your various emotions - greed, fear, worry, attention need, stress, jealousy, ego, discontentment etc. It is designed to create a spiritual effect at the physical level. It is a guaranteed life solution to experience the reality of your own bliss. It is a highly effective workshop, testified by millions of people around the globe.

A program that unleashes the art of living by demystifying the concept of death. If you know the process and purpose of death, you will live your life in an entirely different way! It creates the space to detach from ingrained and unconscious emotions like guilt, pleasure and pain, all of which stem from the ultimate fear of death. It is a gateway to a new life driven by natural intelligence and spontaneous enthusiasm.

This is a breakthrough program that analyzes clearly the workings of the mind and shows you experientially how to be the master of the mind rather than let it rule over you. It involves the whole tremendous intellectual understanding coupled with novel meditations to produce instant experiential understanding.

Life Bliss Technology (LBT) is a one-year residential program for youth aged between 18 and 30 years of age, on practical life skills. With its roots in the Eastern system of Vedic education, this program is designed to empower modern youth with good physical, mental and emotional health. By nurturing creative intelligence and spontaneity, and imparting vocational skills, it creates economically and spiritually self-sufficient youth.

Above all, it offers a lifetime opportunity to live and learn under the tutelage of an enlightened Master!

A unique and powerful means of healing through the Cosmic energy, this is a meditation for the healer and a means to get healed for the recipient of the healing. THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM continues to initiate thousands of Nithya Spiritual Healers worldwide into this scientific and time-tested healing technique which has healed millions of people of ailments ranging from migraine to cancer.

Become one among the millions who walk on planet Earth – Un-clutched! Register online and get initiated.

Nithya Dhyaan is a powerful everyday meditation prescribed by THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM to humanity at large. It is a formula or a technique, which is holistic and complete. It works on the entire being to transform it and make it ready for the ultimate experience of enlightenment to dawn. Each segment of this technique complements the remaining segments to help raise the individual consciousness. It trains you to un-clutch from your mind and live a blissful life. It is the meditation for Eternal Bliss.

THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM says, 'My advent on planet Earth is to create a new cycle of individual consciousness causing Collective Consciousness to enter the Superconscious zone.'

To achieve this,

Hundred thousand people will be initiated to live as Jeevan Muktas – liberated beings experiencing 'living enlightenment', and 1 billion people will be initiated into Nithya Dhyaan – Life Bliss Meditation – designed to cause a shift in the individual consciousness on planet Earth.

Part 5: The Only Way Out Is In_English_part_5.md

THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM answers questions from seekers. He gives instant clarity and restfulness to the questioning mind.

"Existence is extremely compassionate. It shares its beauty with all those who are ready for it. Let go and merge with Existence. That is the only way."

THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM