18. Do You Know What You Want?

We cringe when questions come our way. We are unable to handle them. This is because all our questions are unwanted. There will be only questions for each person that will lead him or her towards the experience of bliss. Because we are unable to ask that question, because we don't know that question, we ask all other questions and suffer.

Bliss or joy is grossly misunderstood. We equate it with the excitement of a new acquisition. Think of the excitement we have when we acquire something new - like a car or house. How long does it last? Not very long. Once we achieve the goal, the thrill and happiness disappear. This is not the joy or bliss that spiritual masters refer to.

Ramana Maharishi, a realized master who lived in the 20th century, defines this situation beautifully. He says, 'before we get it, even a mustard seed looks like a mountain; after we acquire it, even a mountain looks like a mustard seed.'

Do we know what we really want? Unfortunately, none of us do. We think we know. Are we happy with our success? No! We cannot be. We will never be. Till we know what we want, we will never be satisfied with whatever we achieve and acquire. Infact, at the end we will find that whatever we have acquired is of no value to us.

We are chasing desires all the time. This leads us into an endless cycle of desire and want. Most of these desires are not our own. They are borrowed from others. We see someone having or doing something and we want to do or have it. That is how things start. The possessive feeling, labeling things or relationships as 'mine' is the most dangerous trap that the mind can set for us. It is never ending, never fulfilling, always leading to suffering.

How can we end this confusion or suffering? We will continue to suffer and be disillusioned until we know who we are. Until we know who we are, the question of what we want cannot be answered! Understand that!

The smallest but greatest book ever is a book of sayings by Ramana Maharishi titled, 'Who Am I'. Let us dare to ask this question. This question will lead us into a long journey. Our question will transform into a quest. Our urge will become urgent.

We often think answers will end our questions or problems. I tell you, any question that is directional and leads to an answer will only add to your confusion. Only when the question leads us towards a solid experience will we really grow.

Awaken this intelligence, this bliss, this joy that is undiminished. Vivekananda says, 'Till inner intelligence is awakened, no book will help you; once it is awakened you do not need any books!'

Address the question that arises from your being alone. That alone will take you in the path that is right for you. That alone will make you understand what you really want.