Freedom From Jealousy

A MAN RETURNED TO HIS NEIGHBORHOOD AFTER ALMOST 10 YEARS. HE WENT AROUND THE NEIGHBORHOOD WITH HIS FRIEND AND WAS SURPRISED TO SEE THE MANY C H A N G E S I N T H E P L A C E . H E C O M M E N T E D T O H I S F R I E N D , 'PROSPERITY HAS CHANGED THE FACE OF THISWHOLE NEIGHBORHOOD!'

THE FRIEND REPLIED, 'NO, NOT PROSPERITY, JUST PLAIN JEALOUSY.'

We always compare ourselves with others and more often than not we feel what others have or what they have achieved is more than what we have and we start feeling jealous. When we are not able to bear others' excellence, we get jealous. Comparison is the seed and jealousy is the fruit!

Can you compare a lion and a horse? Do you compare yourself with flowers or birds? No! You enjoy their unique beauty, don't you? Each of us also is a unique being. When we realize this, we can enjoy the existence of each of us.

If you concentrate on your own track, you will be continuously progressing and expanding your own capacity. You need to compare yourself with only yourself, never with others. You need to win yourself only by yourself, not by others. Every minute of comparison with others is a waste of time in your own progress.

Note that you always measure yourself with the weakest link in yourself or your performance. This is the trouble. Why do you want to do that? Never measure yourself with the weakest link. You don't have to be egoistic and claim yourself to be something great. But you can have some selfrespect and see that you are unique unto yourself.

Please be very clear, any self-esteem that you have that indicates to you that you are less than God is low self-esteem, because you ARE God. That is why I say there is no scope to compare yourself with anyone else.

The process of discovering your infinite intelligence is what life is all about. That is why I always say, 'Life is the path and not any goal.' As your intelligence grows, you will become more joyful and you will be able to play the game of life more effectively. So stop comparing and start discovering the source of your real growth.

When you learn to tap your own intelligence, you will see how irrelevant it becomes to be looking at another's progress or activities. You will see the absurdity of the whole thing. As your intelligence grows, you will understand that each one has to run his own race and not against each other! The real race is towards discovering your infinite intelligence. Where is the scope for comparison to come in?

Just lock yourself in a room and analyze how much time and energy you waste in comparison with others; more than 60% I am sure. Especially comparison and jealousy can sap your energy like nothing else can. Your mind can get so busy,

working out and calculating how the other person has managed whatever he possesses. Your mind can get so heated up. Your whole system can get sapped because of these unwanted calculations. You can simply drain your energy in no time because of comparison and jealousy.

We are all the time talking about conserving petrol, water and electricity. What about conserving our own energy? What about using our own energy in a proper way? Why are we not conscious of our own energy? We don't see ourselves as blessed with energy, that is the reason.

We are able to see outside sources of energy being wasted because we see the energy in tangible form. Whereas our own energy, we simply dissipate in deep unconscious ways and then complain that we have not been given enough. If you used all your energy for your own expansion, just

imagine how much you could achieve. You could simply expand and enjoy with a feeling of liberation. Once you bring awareness to this unconscious drain of energy, you will automatically not invest energy in moments of comparison and jealousy. Then, you will feel a surge of energy in you which you can use for your own growth.

If you just look into comparison and jealousy deeply and consciously, you will be able to see that it is a mere play of your mind, nothing more than that.

By telling yourself not to feel jealous, you can never come out of it. Only if you bring awareness into the whole thing and understand deeply, it will help.

To overcome jealousy, visualise how jealousy came into your system. Just analyze the sequence of thoughts and emotions in your system and then undo it by reasoning out the whole process with your intelligence.

Darkness does not have a positive existence. You cannot shovel out the darkness. But if light is brought into this room, the darkness will disappear on its own. This is because darkness does not have a positive existence; it has a negative existence. Because it has a negative existence, we cannot simply remove it.

In the same way, comparison does not have a positive existence. It exists only in your mind; it happens only when you exercise a certain thought in your mind. Because comparison does not exist in reality, you cannot overcome it by simply asking it to go away. You can overcome it by bringing in an understanding about it in your mind, just as when you bring in light, the darkness disappears.

Once you understand that jealousy is like a shadow without an object, you will realize how absurd it is and how much it has tormented you. Getting liberation from jealousy is a great liberation in one's life.

Don't condemn the object of your jealousy. Just by condemning the object of jealousy, you will not be liberated from jealousy itself, because the moment you start condemning, it means that there is a wound inside, which you are trying to cover up.

By condemning the object of jealousy, you might be liberated from that particular object of jealousy, but you will simply get fixed onto another object of jealousy, that's all! It is like saying 'sour grapes' and moving on to another vineyard! So, trying to overcome the object of jealousy is not the solution. You need to work on the subject that is you.

If you feel that you are holding an emotion that you wish to get rid of, something that you feel is not conducive to your growth, don't resist that emotion. When you resist it, you will only be empowering it more. When you say, 'I should not get jealous', you will be giving the same power to the word 'jealous' as you give to the words 'I should not'. Therefore don't say things like this. Instead, say to yourself, 'Let me be always compassionate towards everyone.' Don't use the word 'jealous' at all. By negating the emotion, you will not achieve what you want. Say something totally positive in the same context, that's all.

Also, instead of avoiding or running away from jealousy, live it through with total awareness. When you try to avoid it, it will confront you at some other time with more intensity than before. Remember one thing with deep awareness, that is enough: jealousy is not your true nature. Society taught you to be jealous.

Just believe that jealousy is not you. That is enough. Then automatically, you will laugh at it instead of being involved in it. When you are able to laugh at it, it means you have started witnessing it instead of being a part of it. The moment you become a witness, it becomes easy to go beyond anything.

If you see that the whole of Existence is nothing but a divine play, you will be able to see that this so-called jealous feeling is also a divine play and has no reality in itself. Just see jealousy objectively instead of being caught in it. It will automatically lose its power over you.

When you are on your own at home, you will think that it is enough if you have a home and car for yourself. You will feel relaxed with this thought. You will feel moments of gratitude and fulfillment. After some time, when you step out of your house in your car, and stop at a traffic light, what happens? A Mercedes Benz pulls up beside your car and your mind simply switches its thinking. You start thinking that your car is just no good. You start thinking that it is high time you bought a new car - if not a Mercedes Benz.

Just a few minutes earlier you were happy with your own things, but now what has happened? You are starting to work out a new desire, a borrowed desire. Be very clear that this is not your own desire. It is a borrowed desire belonging to someone else. It is the desire of the owner of the Benz car. This is how you start working out others' desires in your mind as a result of comparison and jealousy.

Of course, you will never own up to borrowed desires. It happens so subtly in your mind, that the exact source of the borrowed desire goes unsaid. It is a cunning and subtle game of the mind. And we will always say that we are not bothered about others.

We are all the time trying to beat the other. When you are after borrowed desires, you will never stop, because when you are on the verge of realizing any one of them, another borrowed desire will come up from somewhere and you will be on the running track once more!

You will keep running because you are not centered within yourself. Your center keeps changing. Your center is on other people, not inside yourself! And their center is elsewhere, not inside themselves! Imagine how much you have to run, how much you have to pull and push according to the mass sway of off-centric thoughts and emotions! You become a puppet.

Every time you want something, sit by yourself and think if you really want it or you want it because someone else has it. Do an honest analysis of each of your desires when they surface. Drop all your prestige problems and do a selfanalysis. If you can't drop your prestige when you are alone, how will you drop it when you are with people?

If you are able to live out only your desires, you will die a peaceful death, full of satisfaction even if it is on the platform. If you live your whole life with borrowed desires, you will never see real fulfillment and even if you are living in a marble house, you will have a prolonged death, pulling and pushing, unable to get liberated from your unfulfilled borrowed desires.

If you start comparing and living out others' desires, you will land yourself in deep trouble because you will not know where you stand. It is the most foolish and dangerous thing to do. Always measure yourself with your own meter, never with others' meters. What do you actually need/want/value? Start seeing your own meter from now on.

To turn your steps from outwards to inwards is the first step in your spiritual journey. That moment of taking the U-turn is the most significant moment. And mind you, your awareness will tell you that you have taken the U-turn. Until then,

your mind will have been giving excuses and more excuses, citing people and situations and outer world circumstances as reasons for not being able to integrate yourself.

Once you take the U-turn, all these thoughts will fade into insignificance. They will slowly lose their prominence. They will be there no doubt, but you will be steadily progressing, taking them in your stride. They will help you become a more effective watcher as they play their parts meticulously. Taking the first step or the U-turn is what is the most difficult thing. When you take the U-turn, half the job is done.

When you take the first step, you are ready to win over yourself. To win over others is very easy. Just take a few weapons or use your tongue, that's all. But to win yourself takes real courage. This vishuddhi chakra is all about winning over yourself.

When you look inwards, you are ready to win over yourself. Of course, when you are on the path inwards, there might not be anything visible to the people around you in what you are doing. Only you will know that everything is happening inside and not outside. Only you will be aware of the revolution that is happening inside you. Only you will be able to tell the growing intelligence inside you.

When you take the U-turn, everything becomes meditation. Whether it is walking or talking or singing or dancing or simply putting your clothes on or taking them off, do everything with increasing awareness.

Slowly, instead of your thoughts going outwards, instead of you moving in the outward direction all the time, there will be a U-turn and you will move inwards. It doesn't mean that you will not do the outer world activities. There will be a central chord running in you that keeps you well-centered and you will carry on with your outer world activities. When this happens, you will live a liberating life. You will simply watch yourself doing these things and slowly understand that the whole world is an illusion.

When you take your first step inwards, you have in effect taken a leap because the first step is the real leap. Until then, you only philosophize, convince yourself and others that you are seeking and get more confused with less determination day by day. So do everything with deep

Human beings can never be possessed. When you try to possess a person, you actually reduce him or her to an object. You make the person a dead thing. Only

dead things can be possessed. Understand this very clearly, then you will be free from possessiveness and the jealousy that arises out of it.

Just see every human being as a river that is flowing, and simply enjoy what he or she brings along. Can you try to possess a river? If you try to grasp the water in your hand, you will be doing a foolish thing, will you not? In the same way, don't try to possess people; just enjoy them for what they are and you will be free from the grips of jealousy. You will then understand that possessiveness is something that is created out of your own deep, complicated mind to which you have given so much power.

When you try to possess a person, it becomes difficult for that person also. You will start projecting all your ideas on him. He will have to act so as to gel with your projected ideas. He will feel caged. He becomes divided in his personality. He cannot be his natural self with you. And this cannot be called a relationship!

We are so busy comparing all the time that we never see things as they are! Our mind is so caught up in comparison that it misses the actual quality of what it sees. We need to drop the comparing attitude to be able to see things as they are. When you look into possessiveness and jealousy with awareness, you will not be gripped by undue imagination or emotions. You will be able to see things in the right perspective and behave appropriately and make the right decisions.

If you really love a person, liberate him! Don't try to possess him, only then a real relationship can blossom. Only then, a relationship not dependent on anything except deep love and trust can bloom. The moment you try to hang on to someone, you have missed it. Just love him with no strings attached. Catch yourself any time you have an expectation or desire that they behave in a particular way. Then, both of you can live a liberating life.

You are beautiful enough unto yourself. Every being is beautiful. With what scale are you measuring beauty? There is no scale. It is all your own ideas and concepts. Even if your so-called cinema idol is beautiful, can you enjoy a single cup of tea through his or her form?

Please understand that you are beautiful enough. When you start longing for other people's bodies, you create a wedge inside yourself. You create a split personality inside yourself. When you think that another's body is more beautiful, you create a distance between you and you. You start hating yourself.

When you accept yourself completely, a certain grace comes to you. This grace is far superior to your so-called beauty. When you enjoy yourself totally, a certain grace happens in you and you will appear more beautiful than some of the most so-called beautiful people around you. You will then become a trendsetter.

A leader is one who has totally accepted himself. When you accept yourself, you become a unique flower, and tremendous freedom and confidence will happen in you. All your guilt and hatred about your body will be replaced by pure confidence and grace.

It is very important that you learn to live with your own body. The moment you think that another's body or another's dimensions are more attractive, you create a gap between yourself and your body. When you have self-respect, you appreciate that each one is unique and understand that there is no scope for comparison. This is also the first step towards feeling grateful for just being!

Center yourself well with acute awareness and simply take part in the outer world activities like a lotus untouched in a pond. Let the work in the periphery go on undisturbed, but center yourself in your being. You will then be able to perform much better in the outer world, because your inner intelligence will be growing and guiding you in performing and watching the results as a mere observer.

Then automatically, you will stop swaying in accordance with the outer world achievements and feel stability and joy in the center of your own being. Finding your center is the only way out of this whole cycle of comparison and jealousy.

You continuously want to change your measurement or your dimensions. Understand that your body is a gift from God. Thinking that you are not enough unto yourself is the first damage you do to yourself. If you understand that you are unique and there is no one in this world like you, the comparing nature in you will become meaningless and you will automatically stop feeling jealous. Just try to understand that Existence loves everyone and everything equally. You are loved and you are unique.

Do you ever compare yourself with people who don't have eyesight and thank God that you have been given eyesight? Have you ever spontaneously felt thankful for your eyesight? No! Why not? Because whatever has been given to you is always taken for granted. That is the reason.

You think, 'It is there anyway; let us go to the next. Try going about your work keeping your eyes closed. In just a few minutes, you will realize that your seamless routine has become unimaginable. Why 24 hours? In just a few minutes, you will understand the difficulty. It will be such a relief to open your eyes and see the world again. You will probably then thank God for your eyesight!

world but after you get it, somehow it is not important any longer! If you become aware of yourself and understand what exactly you want, and try to do that alone, you will never find yourself in this kind of a self-contradictory and fragmented situation.

Every breath of yours should be towards increasing your awareness and consciousness. Only then have you really made a conscious decision to experience Existence or God. If this firm resolve is not happening in you, then you are still pretending to seek, that's all. You are simply cheating yourself. Don't for a moment think that you are cheating others. You are cheating yourself.

Just function with awareness, and infinity will simply open out. When it does, you will feel afraid because you are not used to seeing such open space. You are used to seeing boundaries all the time. Now you are not able to see the fence anywhere. You will start getting apprehensive. You see, until you have reached the state of eternal bliss, you can hit rock bottom at any time. So remember that and nurture your awareness continuously to take you to realms of deeper and deeper understanding.

Actually, we have three layers of energy. The first layer energy is from the mind. This is what we use for our day-to-day activities. Once we use this energy, we feel tired and irritated if we have to do more work.

The second layer energy is the emergency layer. It opens up when we are faced with an emergency situation. For example, if you are walking back home after a hard day's work and suddenly a dog starts chasing you, you suddenly get extra energy and simply start running away from it. You run even faster than you would have during normal conditions. This is the emergency layer energy.

The third layer energy is the Being level energy. There is an infinite energy source within you. This is the energy of Existence to which we are all directly connected. But, we can't normally feel it. This layer of energy can be directly experienced through meditation.

(Total duration: 30 minutes)

The Shakti Sagar meditation, taken from Zen Buddhism, helps you to tap into the cosmic energy. The key to this meditation is to keep the mind fixed on the vishuddhi while the body moves. When you do this meditation, you can directly tap into the cosmic energy.

The vishuddhi chakra is the gateway to this infinite cosmic energy and the purpose of the vishuddhi chakra meditation is to tap into this being-layer energy.

Stand in a relaxed position, preferably behind a chair or some support. Close your eyes. Focus on the vishuddhi chakra.

Hold the chair in front of you and start walking very slowly on the spot.

Increase the pace gradually. Keep walking faster and faster on the same spot. Push your limits only to the extent you can, with no discomfort. Do not over-exert yourself. Do not slow down. At all times, focus on the vishuddhi chakra. Feel the energy coming out of it.

Stop. Sit quietly wherever you are. Keep your eyes closed. Focus on the vishuddhi chakra. You will absorb the energy generated during the movement.

While doing this meditation, you may wear your mala around your neck. It will serve to store the Energy that you create during the meditation.

The key to this meditation is to keep the mind fixed on the vishuddhi while the body moves. When you do this, the Cosmic Energy enters through the vishuddhi chakra and becomes a tremendous source of energy to you.

The Vishuddhi chakra is located in the throat region. It is locked by comparison and jealousy and can be made to flower by expressing our individuality, uniqueness and creativity.

We always compare ourselves with others and feel jealous if we think they have more than we do in terms of more attention, more money, more intelligence or good looks, etc. Comparison is the seed and jealousy is the fruit.

The diagram alongside shows comparison as the seeds of an apple and jealousy as the apple (or fruit) itself. The diagram shows a line of people circling the globe (the apple as the world), arranged in order of their accumulation of wealth. The man in the picture would probably place himself somewhere in the middle of this line. He has two choices: he can look ahead at all the people who have more money than him and feel jealous, or he can look at the line of people behind with less money, and feel grateful. It is up to each one to choose how he will respond to the situation. One side of his face shows happiness and the other sadness, depending on which part of the line he is observing.

Jealousy is often created by 'borrowing desires'. For example, we might be perfectly content with the car we drive until we see our neighbor pull up in a new, flashier car. What seemed alright a moment ago, is now seen as inferior. Suddenly we feel we cannot be content unless we also acquire a new and expensive vehicle. We have the means to fulfill our own desires, but not to fulfill desires borrowed from others. We cannot fulfill our greed.

The reason we are always chasing desires is because we are not centered in ourselves. We do not feel complete in ourselves and think that acquiring more and better material possessions, or better looks or intelligence is going to make us feel happy. The nature of man is to run after bliss without realizing that bliss is his very nature. Eventually, we need to discover that we have everything we need and stop chasing and comparing. As soon as we think someone has more than we do, we are thrown off-center and start to feel jealous.

Start accepting yourself as you are and appreciate your own unique and individual characteristics. Analyzing your desires to see which are true for you is a good start. Awareness is the key. Meditation will develop awareness and stillness so you can experience your own center. Then all of the energy locked up in comparison and jealousy will be available for your own growth.You will then have the experience of Cosmic Energy and the confidence and fulfillment which comes from knowing that your own unique contribution is more than enough.