Overcoming Attention Need

IF YOU HAVE SEEN CHILDREN AT PLAY, YOU MIGHT HAVE SEEN THEM BUILDING CASTLES WITH CARDS. THEY WILL PLACE THE CARDS AT A CERTAIN ANGLE TO EACH OTHER AND BUILD SEVERAL LAYERS OF SUCH PATTERNS IN A PYRAMID SHAPE. IT WILL BE BEAUTIFUL TO LOOK AT. BUT IF YOU REMOVE EVEN ONE CARD FROM THE CASTLE, FROM ANYWHERE, THE WHOLE CASTLE WILL COLLAPSE! THE HIGHER THE CASTLE, THE MORE THE CHANCES OF COLLAPSING. IN A SIMILAR WAY, WE BUILD OUR OWN SELF-IMAGE LIKE A CASTLE, OUT OF PEOPLE'S OPINIONS OF US. WE COLLECT CERTIFICATES OR SIGNATURES FROM OUR FATHER, MOTHER, BOYFRIEND OR GIRLFRIEND, TEACHER, FRIENDS AND ANYBODY WE MEET. WE ARRANGE ALL THESE CERTIFICATES AND SIGNATURES AND BUILD A CASTLE TO FORM OUR SELF-IMAGE. BASICALLY, ALL THESE CERTIFICATES ARE NOTHING BUT ATTENTION GIVEN TO US IN SOME FORM OR THE OTHER. BASED ON THESE CERTIFICATES, THE IMAGEWILL LOOK BEAUTIFUL ANDWEWILL FEEL HAPPY. BUT WHAT HAPPENS IF ANY ONE PERSON MODIFIES HIS/HER OPINION? WHAT HAPPENS IF ONE PERSON DOESN'T GIVE THE ATTENTION WE EXPECT AT A PARTICULAR MOMENT? THE WHOLE CASTLE COMES CRASHING DOWN. OUR SELF-IMAGE LIES ON GROUND ZERO ALL OF A SUDDEN!

Y We are so dependent on others for our wellbeing and happiness, that there is every possibility we will fall into depression if they don't play their part well. People who suffer from depression are actually suffering from attention-need. Over

time, something happens; they don't get enough attention from the people they expect to get it from and they are not capable of handling it. Just one word is enough from any person to put them into depression. What do they do? They start taking medicine to cure it.

You see, these people with depression need to be shown that their energy source lies within them. And meditation can show them that. Depending on the sincerity with which they do the meditation (recommended meditation is Mahamantra meditation explained later in the chapter), they can simply harness the energy inside them and come out of depression. Medicines will dull them even more. This needs to be understood.

Y Be aware of your motivation when you do things for others. When you do something for others, it is good to give attention, give respect but it should be out of a deep energizing love, not out of fear; not because we are afraid that they will take

away their certificates of approval.

Never invest so much in others' opinions that they become the center of your life. Don't make others the source of your energy. Don't depend on others for your psychological survival.

Every time you do something for someone, ask yourself, 'What is my motivation here? How will I feel if the person receiving this does not respond in the way I expect him to respond? Do I have expectations? Is my motivation pure love?' Be very clear what your motive is.

When you are dependent on others for your happiness, you are giving them control of your life. Be your own source of energy and inspiration! Come to a clear understanding that real joy is not possible when you place your center on someone else. If you understand this, half the problem is solved.

It is not possible to make another totally happy, so stop trying. Even if you do succeed in making someone feel happy, you are allowing them to depend on you for their happiness, to prop themselves up with it. This will only satisfy your ego and foster dependence. It is not a foundation for a lasting relationship. First of all, satisfy yourself and find fulfillment in yourself, that is enough. And let this fulfillment have nothing to do with the people around you. Let it be just a bubbling energy inside you, irrespective of the conditions and people outside.

Doing Things Intensely

Daily Awareness Practice

You might have experienced, when you do anything intensely, you will forget yourself. You might have experienced this many times in your lives. It can be anything that you do. It can be as simple as coloring or painting or reading. When you go deep into it, you forget yourself.

When you have an intense headache, just try doing something interesting very deeply; your headache will go away. It is because you are continuously aware of your head that your headache continues to bother you. The moment you go deep into something else and lose awareness of your head, your headache will simply disappear. Only when you remember your head, you will have a headache.

When you go deeply into any emotion, only that emotion remains and you cease to exist. This is what we mean by 'totality'. Be total and intense in everything you do. Then 'you' will disappear. This moment of 'you' disappearing, you may experience for just a few seconds. But if you work on being intense and total in everything, this experience of 'you' disappearing will happen more often to you and for longer periods also. Soon, you will master the art of doing work intensely, and being absent yourself! You can then turn off and on at your will. You become independent of the work that goes on outside.

Responsibility

Daily Awareness Practice

The more responsibility you take up, the more you expand. Responsibility is something that can be easily shrugged off. But if you don't shrug it and keep on shouldering it, you will expand and the divine energy will automatically flow in you. And you can take up more and more responsibility only when you feel overflowing energy in you.

For example, Nithya spiritual healers need to take up as much responsibility as possible for the suffering and pain around them and heal people. When you feel that you are responsible for healing the pain around you, you will automatically stand up to help reduce it in some way or the other. People often think that it is enough if they do things for their own family. This is a way of contraction, not a way of expansion. You need to expand for growth to happen. You will radiate energy when you stand up with responsibility. Existence will automatically flow through you when you take up responsibility. So just take on responsibility with joy!

When you are confronted with seemingly high responsibilities, simply nod your head to it. The mere nodding without resistance is enough. The rest will be taken care of by Existence.

If you can just love without a reason, it is pure love; that's all. Pure love is not dependent on anything outside; it is dependent only on yourself.

If you just decide to let go at least once, you will feel such a tremendous freedom, such liberation inside yourself. You need courage to let go and become loving. As a first step, at least become aware of this deep inside; it will then automatically happen. Awareness is the key to open any lock.

Love as much as you can, without asking for anything in return. Loving for a reason is not love; it is just a business deal. When you can love without a reason, when you can love anything and anyone that comes your way, you will experience tremendous inner energy and beauty. You will appear simply beautiful, irrespective of whether you are physically beautiful or not.

Also, when you are brimming with love, you don't feel yourself, you feel only love, you become love. When you become love, you automatically exude compassion towards everyone and everything around you. You take up a lot more responsibility around you. This responsibility is not out of the egoistic need to serve people, but out of the overflowing energy in you.

And one more thing, don't think that unconditional love will not get you back anything, it will get you back things in more than one way. But you should evolve to an extent where you see these things coming to you and you remain unaffected by them and continue loving for the sake of loving. Your intelligence will make you see the things that you get in return and the same intelligence will keep you blissfully untouched by them.

There will be a revolutionary change in your heart and you will be a new person. You will find the change in you and so also will others. People will develop a new kind of respect for you. They will see that you are flowering in a way incomprehensible to them. They will be able to feel the energy that you radiate.

We are all capable of sympathy. When someone tells you about their suffering, you just confirm their suffering for them; this is sympathy! They in turn tell us that we are so caring and they love us for it. Actually they love us because they feel good when we tell them that they are suffering a lot, it is a subtle ego boost to them.

Empathy is when you feel another's suffering in your own being. It is when a person does not have to tell you his suffering, but you simply know because the Existential energy in you feels it. Masters are one with you, because they are one with Existence, and you are a part of Existence, only you see them as separate. And because they are one with you, they feel your pain in their heart. They don't know any other way. And they have the capacity to accept the suffering that comes with it also.

Don't worry about trying to love God or any Master. You don't even know God, then how can you love Him? It is very difficult for you to love something you

haven't seen. But you can love all that you can see, can you not? You can love the animals, the plants, people and what not. Simply love them for no reason except the joy of loving, the plant on your window sill, the neighbour's cat, anything that comes into your view.

If you love without a reason, you will expand like anything. Your world will suddenly seem larger than life and so ecstatic. You will feel the source of your own energy within you, not outside. You will become an energy source to yourself first and then to others. The energy in you has to touch others. There is no other way because you will be overflowing with it. Others will be naturally drawn to you. You will become total and loving! Simply feel a deep connection with people and nature and love them. Once you start doing this, you will develop a certain faith in Existence because Existence is the common thread that runs through all these things.

Develop your faith through allowing your energy to move out in this way. When faith happens, slowly, your love will become love towards Existence, towards God or the life force, which is the common thread in all these things. Then you will start exuding love towards Existence, and the ultimate religion will take root in you - the religion of gratitude and love.

Stop asking and start giving! We need to radiate energy instead of asking for energy. But we don't even know how to shift the focus from us to the other. We are so used to seeing ourselves as the center of attention. We need to start seeing the world outside as the center of attention.

See yourself as in the center of a small circle. Imagine all the people in your world as being in concentric circles moving out from the center. The closest people to you are in the first circle your husband or wife, parents, children, etc. Then, the next circle would contain close friends and relatives and so on. Finally, the last circle would include acquaintances. Outside the last circle would be everyone else on the planet. Now see your energy as moving out from you, through each circle. This is your world and you are responsible for it. You need to keep your world energized and full of love. If you do this, soon the different concentric circles will disappear and everyone will become the same to you as far as showering love is concerned. There will not be any difference between family, relatives, friends or strangers. The whole world will become one to you. If you see your world in this way, you will radiate energy causelessly and you will be fulfilled.

Try this small exercise: choose a partner from amongst your acquaintances or workrelated colleagues, of the same gender. Look after that partner completely without letting them know you are doing this as an exercise.

In order to discover the quality of your being that is love, two things can be done. First, repeatedly listen to words like these so that they create a conviction in you about what is being said, so that they create a space in you to start the process of transformation.

Secondly, meditate so that the transformation can actually happen. Meditation will take you to depths inside yourself that will help you rise above these misunderstandings of love. Meditation will work at the being level. That is why it is a short cut! When you have to go through life and know by yourself, it will take you a lifetime. But with meditation, a space opens inside you to experience these things clearly for yourself, whatever your age may be. So make space in your life to hear the truth and to meditate.

(Total duration: 30 minutes)

The Mahamantra meditation is an ancient Tibetan Buddhist technique to awaken the anahata chakra, located at the heart center. This meditation makes your mind firm and stable. Your mind is always oscillating with thoughts. This meditation makes your mind still by making it enter into the zone of no-mind. It is like a jumping board to enter into infinity.

This meditation will create a good energy flow in you. It is a technique that fills you to the brim with energy so that you may stop seeking attention from others and start giving energy and love to others as a result of overflowing energy in you. While doing this meditation, wear your mala around your neck. It will serve to store the energy that you create during the meditation.

Do this meditation on an empty stomach, either early morning or two hours after any meal. It can be done either alone or as a group. When done as a group, it effectively energizes the place where it is done.

Step 1 - Intense Humming (Duration: 20 minutes)

Sit cross-legged in a comfortable position on the floor. Your head, neck and spine should be in a straight line. Those of you who are not able to sit on the floor may sit on a chair. Feel relaxed and close your eyes. Even after we close our eyes, we see forms and images from behind the eyelids. To handle this, imagine that your eyeballs have become stone-like. Just harden them with mental pressure; then the images will die. The movement of our eyes is very closely related to the movement of thoughts in our mind. That is why you are asked to arrest the movement of your eyeballs. Don't be too worried about keeping them arrested. Just proceed with the meditation.

Now, produce a humming sound as intensely as possible, as loudly as possible and as lengthily as possible. Keep your lips together and produce the sound 'Mmmm…' from inside, from the navel center. If you were to put your face inside an empty aluminum vessel and make a

The anahata chakra is located at the heart center. It is blocked by seeking attention (attention need) and is made to flower by expressing self-less love.

In the diagram overleaf, we see a woman facing the left side of the page, and a mirror image of the same woman, facing the right. The experience of the woman on the left is the 'normal' experience of people trying to fulfill their lives through their relationships, feeling depressed and lacking energy. The woman on the right has taken the steps necessary to become aware of how she creates her own unfulfilling experience through trying to extract energy from her environment. Her anahata chakra is now an outpouring of selfless love and she feels fulfilled and blissful.

Like the woman on the left of the picture, when our anahata chakra is not open, we feel lacking in love and look to find it in our interactions with other people. Their attention feeds us the energy we need and the feelings that we lack. When the anahata is open, on the other hand, we feel that we are flowing with boundless love which spills over and fills everything we come in contact with.