43. *Add friendliness to relationships*

Once you drop your imagination about your own body and the other's body, you will be able to start showing compassion and friendliness towards the other's body. Friendliness is the component you need to add in the alchemy process to transform lust to love.

Violence is not the way. We talk of violence in the society, state and country. What about in our own homes and inside our own bodies and minds? I tell you: violence starts at home.

You may say, 'Swamiji, but we are not violent in our day-to-day lives.' You only think you are not violent. Observe yourself closely. When you walk on the street or in your own garden, what do you do? You unconsciously pluck at trees, leaves, flowers; you kick stones around and pull at creepers and what not. These are all acts of violence!

Just for once, walk into your garden and look closely at a flower or a leaf with utmost awe and love in you. Feel the beauty of it in your heart and look at it lovingly. Feel that it is a living being. Connect to the wonders of Existence through it. Handle it like it was a new-born child. Feel the emotion swelling from deep inside you.

Now think of the number of times you have unconsciously plucked at the same flower or leaf while you were walking near it. Do you understand the difference between the two emotions, the two attitudes? Now tell me, are you really being friendly towards everything and everyone around you?

Look at everything with awareness. Now, you are functioning from your unconscious and so you are behaving in a violent fashion towards these things. If you look at them with awareness, you will see the immense beauty in them and treat them with love.

How much do you abuse your own body? You overeat and cause disturbance to the beautiful digestive system functioning inside you. You stay up late in the night and torture your body when it is crying for rest. You smoke and drink despite knowing that is it not good for your body. Are all these acts those of friendliness to your body? Some of you hate your body and therefore neglect it.

So it is time to start addressing the violence within you. Automatically the violence outside will stop. We are always ready to point outside of us. What about our own imperfections?

A man once visited me and told me about his family. He said that his wife was a lawyer. I asked, 'Oh, does she go to argue in the court?' He said, 'No Swamiji, she argues at home!'

We are all ready to point fingers at others and argue. Instead, let us start removing the impurities in us and then automatically, there will be no need to argue outside.

Carry with you words that heal yourself and others. Show friendliness towards the other's body, mind and being. This is what is 'applied spirituality'. Spirituality is not ringing the bell regularly in the pooja room and praying to the Goddess Lakshmi, for wealth. It is imbibing Goddess Lakshmi's qualities of grace and goodwill. Wealth will automatically happen.

We all think that we only need to do rituals and we will get the results. No. When you chant 'Ram Ram' a thousand times a day with no intention or inclination to transform yourself, it is as good as chanting 'coca-cola' a thousand times a day! The basic idea behind rituals is to understand and imbibe the spirit behind them so that you transform yourself and then the material results will happen seamlessly.

Once you are able to show friendliness to the other, have the patience and perseverance to process your transformed emotion. At the end, you will experience the supreme and mutual emotion that is love. The other will also reciprocate your transformed emotion and then you have arrived! Your being becomes bliss! Then, you have done your meditation properly!