39. *undamentals of lust*

The most talked about, thought about and written about subject is sex. The most misunderstood, misinterpreted and confusing subject is also sex! We either try to avoid the subject, or we try to indulge in it. Sex is deeply buried in our unconscious minds. Right from the start, we rarely find someone who can enlighten us on the subject of sex.

Sex, more than any other subject, needs to be illumined with the light of consciousness!

Our condition right now is like that of a man walking in a forest on a pitch-dark night.

Somewhere there is a big pit that has been dug and kept.

The man who tries to avoid the subject is in total unawareness; he doesn't even know where the pit lies – then how can he avoid it?

The man who indulges in the subject is aware of the pit, but can't see any other way than to jump straight into it.

Can either of these be the solution?

One should know where the pit lies, and then take the right steps to move around it.

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The topic of sex is always swept under the carpet. It is a taboo topic. Parents do not come out and discuss it with children. First of all, the parents themselves don't know the underlying facts of the subject! On any subject, you need to ask an authority, otherwise you will miss the right understanding and when you miss the right understanding, you mis-understand.

A small story:

A lady received a letter from her son's schoolteacher. The teacher had written that the boy was unable to see the board clearly and therefore made mistakes while writing. The lady promptly took her son to the eye doctor.

The doctor examined the boy and wrote out the prescription.

It read, 'hair cut'!

We laugh at this, but I tell you, in life, if you go to the right person in the first go, you will get the right solution; or else you will go around in circles advocated by so-called authorities and you will waste your life.

Still worse, you will be advocating these patterns to future generations also. This is how convention sets in. When you allow convention to set in, it becomes a Herculean task to break free from it because convention becomes the truth over the years.

When the master appears, his first job becomes to undo all that has been done to you. Only then he can start showing you what you really are. It is a tough job for him because you have advanced so much in your own track that you wonder how you could be on the wrong track!

Guaranteed Solutions

Let us come back to the subject, 'What is sex?'

Sex is a tremendous creative energy. It is a meditative energy. The whole world has arisen out of sex energy.

Our ancient enlightened masters, the rishis, have given us great clarity on this subject. Do you know that Vatsyayana, the man who wrote the Kama Sutra, the book on the science of sex – was a sannyasi? He was a celibate!

In fact, he delivered the Kama Sutra to his own mother.

After his enlightenment, he came back to visit his mother one day.

She told him that since he was enlightened, then he should have insight into any subject on planet earth.

He agreed and asked what she might like to hear from him.

She told him, 'As your mother, I know that you have been celibate since birth. There is no chance that you would know anything from experience about the subject of sex. But, can you tell me something about it?'

Vatsyayana smiled and delivered the Kama Sutra – the science of sex!

Vatsyayana was questioned once, 'What authority do you have to speak on this subject?'

A natural question! I think many of you might be silently putting this question to me also!

The answer that Vatsyayana gave, I am translating into modern language for you, using a modern analogy.

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An electrician who visits your home knows exactly what happens when each electric switch in the house is put on or off.

He knows the entire circuitry hidden beneath the wall.

If there is a problem, he can determine the exact cause and give a solution for it.

He understands the science of electricity.

On the other hand, you, who puts these switches on and off fifty times a day, have absolutely no idea about what is actually going on behind the walls! Am I right?

Many of us know nothing more than how to put on and off the switches. That's why we sometimes get an electric shock! So, understand that although we may be fathers, mothers or grandparents – we may know nothing about sex.

We are all under continuous hormonal torture. The television and other forms of media show lust in various forms and we watch this and think we know all about sex and love.

Only an enlightened person, can give you the science of sex.

India, over the years, has been looted of vast wealth and land. None of these were great losses to India and after every invasion, India came back and the society stood up. Finally, our Gurukul system, the olden days' system of learning at the feet of the master, was destroyed by the British and Kama Sutra - the science of sex was no longer taught to children. This was the greatest blow to India. This is when people stopped understanding the meaning of sex and started getting consumed by lust or kama. Have you ever watched two people playing a game of chess? When you simply watch the game, very often, the right move will suggest itself to you – but somehow it never occurs to the two players! How many of you have observed this? What do you think could be the reason?

Because we are not involved in the game Swamiji*?*

Yes! Actually, the man who is witnessing is not under pressure to win. Pressure and stress make the mind dull. So, only the man who has come out of the game, who is a mere watcher, can give you the right idea about it. A master is one who knows the Whole. That is why he becomes the authority on any subject.

So what is sex?

Today, biology has proved that no man is 100% man, and no woman is 100% woman. A man is 51% man and 49% woman. Likewise, a woman is 51% woman, and 49% man; just a difference of 1%.

You have taken birth from the muladhara (sex energy center) of your father and the muladhara of your mother. Then, how can you be only male or only female? The qualities of both are bound to be there in you!

This is the basis behind the symbolic representation of Lord Shiva as Ardhanareeshwar, the figure that is half male and half female. Whether we accept it or not, we are an embodiment of both male and female energies. We are whole, not divided.

Tantra deals beautifully with the whole concept of sex. In the scriptures, Lord Shiva speaks to Devi Parvati on this subject. Those insights recorded several thousands of years ago are found to be relevant in biology today.

In order to be complete, to be whole, it is essential that we are able to accept and express both the masculine and feminine aspects of our nature.

But does it really happen? Are we allowed to express both aspects?

Right from the moment of birth, society labels you as either male or female. And it expects you to start behaving accordingly. Society does not allow boys to express their feminine side, nor girls to express their masculine side. Right from a very young age, one half of our being is suppressed.

Until the age of seven, before the social conditioning has taken a deep root inside, the child is not conscious of being male or female. That is why a very young child has a sense of completeness. He is centered and secure. He is so beautiful and joyful to look at! By around seven, the child comes under society's control.

A male child is not encouraged to play with dolls and kitchen sets. A female child is not encouraged to play with race cars and rockets. Even when it comes to colours of their clothes and other belongings, there is discrimination. You choose blue for boys and pink for girls, is it not?

Guaranteed Solutions

In earlier days, the parents left the child in the gurukul, a residential school headed by vedic age masters. In the gurukul, the children were taught the Gayatri Mantra – an initiation chant to kindle the intelligence at the age of 7. If by 14 they had a spiritual experience of some kind, they were taught the Brahmasutra – the greatest book on world philosophies, or else they were taught the Kama Sutra – the science of sex, so that they learned the art of family life. If before the age of 21 they were enlightened, they were initiated into sannyas. If not, they were taught the yoga sastras. This is how a child was allowed to evolve in his own way under the guidance and love of the master.

But now, such strong conditioning goes into the child, which is so damaging for him. The child begins to suppress that part of himself which is not approved by society. We don't realize it, but this period is traumatic for the child. He suddenly feels uprooted, cut off from one half of his being. He starts searching for this suppressed half outside.

Man's inherent nature is fulfillment. He came from fulfillment and looks to attain it as well. So as a child, he begins to search for the lost half, the suppressed half, unconsciously. He starts looking at the outside world for a substitute for his own lost half. The male child starts searching for a female presence and the female child for a male presence.

This is where the whole idea of sex starts. This is how the idea of sex takes root.

198 In the period from 7 to 14 years, the child is closest to his parents. From the parents, the child collects images about how the ideal woman or ideal man should be. For the male child, the suppressed half of his own personality is replaced with his mother's image and for a girl child, the suppressed half of her personality is replaced with her father's image.

That is why every boy's first heroine is his mother, and every girl's first hero is her father. This deep-rooted search is what is behind the Oedipus and Ophelia complexes of Freudian psychology. A boy expects care from his wife like the care he received from his mother and a girl expects the security and assurance from her husband that she enjoyed with her father.

In broken homes, where the child has been deprived of the mother's or father's presence due to death or divorce, the child carries a sense of incompleteness. Even long after you are an adult, no matter how many differences of opinion you have with your mother or father, you can never remove their imprint from your being. So when the proximity to parents is not there at that age, the child develops a void.

At fourteen, the child attains physical maturity. Naturally, social laws don't allow him to have the same intimacy as earlier with the parent of the opposite sex and also, their activities become diversified and they don't spend as much time with their parents.

So at 14, the search continues, but this time in the outer world. These days it is happening much earlier than 14. Children are exposed to the television and internet from a very young age. That's why they also grow up faster mentally. At about 14 years of age, the search begins in the outside world.

The child now begins to collect images from outsiders and media. The media is perfectly aware of this. That is why you will see that all advertisements always have sexual undertones.

Almost all motorbike ads show women although very few women ride motorbikes. Whatever the product may be, you will find a smiling woman recommending it. When you go to the market, you promptly pick up that product, forgetting that the woman does not come with it! That is the media's way of cashing in on your suppressed desires.