1. Glimpses of My Master Nithyananda

Would I be any better If only I knew who I am? Sun still rises in East

THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM says that meeting him is never an accident. We, his followers, know that only too well. I am clear about the purpose that was served in my life when I met him. Yet I do not know what the background to my meeting him was; what, if any, were the karmic connections that led to that meeting; not yet anyhow. So it is with many of my fellow travelers following our Master.

I guess I am in many ways no different from the vast majority of educated modern mass, whether in Bharat or the USA; the class, which THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM says suffers from the malaise o f 'depression o f success'. Many of us in professional careers achieved most of what we set out to do materially and then wondered why we wanted all that in the first place. Acquisition brought only a very momentary pleasure. As that pleasure ceased we needed to begin the next chase to keep ourselves occupied in the pursuit of what we imagined to be our next port of call of happiness. What next was almost always the question, even before one had had time to absorb and reflect upon what we had achieved and acquired.

My own quest for something deeper, than matters merely material, perhaps started earlier than for some. I was born and raised in a middle class Tamil Brahmin family that couldn't quite decide whether it wanted to be conservative or modern. My search took many decades; each step in the path was an improvement, each providing its own benefit.

People look for many things from a Guru, especially in the Hindu context. 90% of people we meet are in search of material benefits from the spiritual Guru, the same way as they are in a temple praying before the idol promising a percentage of benefits in return. The material benefits may vary from direct financial gains to improvements in health to providing a child to the childless and to working limbs to the disabled. We are all beggars one way or the other, in front of a Master and God. Only too often, we do not even realize what we are begging for. When we do get what we beg for, we realize too late that the wish contained baggage that we could have done without. The circle goes on.

Less than 10% in Bharat approach the Guru from any kind of a learning perspective, either intellectual or spiritual. This percentage is probably vastly different in the West. There the search is really a cure for the 'depression of success' borne out of a surfeit of material success that is in imbalance with one's spiritual needs. In Bharat, people come to a Guru out of 'depression of failure'; they seek mostly in material terms.

There is perhaps a need to measure people in terms of a Spiritual Quotient or SQ, the same way as one's Intelligence is sought to be measured in IQ or Intelligence Quotient terms, and one's maturity through EQ or Emotional Quotient terms. What this SQ would perhaps measure is the active dissatisfaction level with what ever one finds around oneself in terms of ethics and morality that prompts one into positive action of one kind or another. I am not referring to religious value systems of ethics and morality, which are created by society. These are as crassly commercial as the worst business practices, designed solely to benefit corrupt societal, political and religious leadership. The values I refer to are the values of one's own Consciousness that place the needs of others before our own.

Having been a corporate animal most of my waking life, I have witnessed both the best and the worst of what corporate success can offer. Usually the take away is negative, to a large extent caused by the ego of individuals fawned upon by those who seek favors of one kind or another. Like balloons pressured beyond what they can bear most such corporate leaders burst, in the process damaging others around them. Yet, there are a few who I have met who maintain their balance despite all the pressures to elevate them into unstable postures. Like the proverbial reeds in Tao that bend with the water and getting back to position once the pressure recedes.

It helps when one has a balanced perspective of one's own capabilities against what one has been able to achieve. Whatever success we manage to achieve has little to do with our own abilities. There were and are many others who are more intelligent than we are, more decisive, more caring and more dynamic, who probably did not reach the same levels of material success as we measure them to be capable of. Contrarily, we see around us intellectual, emotional and spiritual midgets who are far more successful materially and professionally. There is a factor that goes beyond one's inherited powers, education, innate capabilities, DNA and whatever else that one can measure within oneself that contributes to what one achieves in life, both materially and spiritually. Is that karma, fate, destiny or the Spiritual Quotient? Why am I what I am? Who am I? Where are we headed? What is our Purpose in Life?

This desire to move beyond and also to understand who I am still drives me, as I am sure it is with many of you. It is this creative tension that brought me to hear Paramahamsa Sri THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM. In him, I found a spiritual Guru who was truly irreverent of religious hypocrisy; one who addressed practical issues of how to live one's life day to day, hour to hour, minute to minute and second to second; one who stayed away from convincing others through scriptural or religious sanctioned lore; one who brought to bear his experiential wisdom that transcended his youthful years; far more importantly who through his sheer grace and energy brought to me a warmth and brightness I had never before experienced. He lit a lamp within that dispelled all the darkness of ignorance I had learnt through my entire life.

The presence of a living Master is the ultimate that there is. God to most of us is a concept; for some to ridicule; for many to worship. There is no common understanding of what one needs to do to approach God. Religions, rather religious leaders, who are supposed to guide us to God, are the biggest sinners in this regard. They divide and rule. They fight and destroy. To one, an idol is essential to reach God; to another, idols are blasphemous; to each his scripture and his brand of God is the only path to salvation. No conniving marketer, no deceptive advertiser can do as good a job of branding God as our religious leaders do; all for their own material benefit. No such problem arises in front of a realized Master. THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM declares that he is not a Hindu; once realized the shackles of religion drop off. THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM has no issues with how many gurus one has, or what religion one belongs to; if one's gurus are truly realized they will only work together to help our own realization, and not fight amongst themselves as to who should be our savior. THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM says often: When Jesus and Krishna meet each other, they will hug each other, as they are both enlightened Masters. However, the sheep that follow Jesus and the cows that follow Krishna will always end up fighting as to whose Master was greater!

The message of this book is inspirational and transformational. It is an account of how the Master was inspired and transformed, which in turn would help the reader to be inspired for his and her own transformation.

Some of you may have heard of Thiruvannamalai, which is a small town in the north western part of the South Hindu state of Tamilnadu. 'Thiru Anna Malai' as it should be termed in chaste Tamil, the name means 'Revered Inaccessible Mountain'; a name that was given to it in the distant past not because it was a tall and mighty mountain physically, being more a medium sized hillock, but possibly because of the spiritual connotation that the place had for the believers and spiritual seekers. The entire township has evolved around the mountain and a 'parikrama' or circumambulation of the mountain is considered to be holy and spiritually value enhancing.

In Sanskrit this mountain is termed 'Arunachala', literally the 'Unmoving Morning Star', simplified as the 'Red Mountain', possibly in reference to its reddish hue. Sages from time immemorial are reputed to have lived in the caves and slopes of this hill, sanctifying it and being sanctified by it in turn. Adi Sankara had described Arunachala as Mount Meru, the inaccessible heart center of Siva. The legend of this temple, the Sthala Purana, reads thus.

In ancient Hindu mythology there is a story of a fight between Brahma, the Creator and Vishnu the Sustainer, as to who was greater. There was no one to solve the fight except Siva, the Rejuvenator, and the third member of the Divine Trinity. Siva appeared before them in his vishwa rupa, the divine form, in such a huge size, as a shaft of light, that its ends, his head and feet could not be seen. Siva said who ever can find either of my ends is the greater of the two of you. Brahma went up towards the head in the form of a flying swan. Vishnu went as a boar digging below the ground to find Siva's feet. They searched for ages, yugas. Vishnu realized that he could not find what he sought, decided to surrender his ego, and told Siva to forgive his arrogance in trying to seek his feet. Siva blessed him for his honesty. Brahma could not accept his failure. He saw a flower falling down as he flew up and asked the flower where it was coming from; it said it had fallen from Siva's ears. Brahma asked: how long have you been traveling? Flower said: I have been falling for four ages of Brahma. Brahma was shocked and realized he had no hopes of finding Siva's head, but he did not want to accept his failure. Brahma decided that he would tell Siva a lie about finding this flower on his ear; he then asked the flower to bear witness that he had brought it down from Siva's head. The flower hesitated, but Brahma persuaded it saying in any case Siva would not know. Flower having little choice, and afraid to refuse the Creator said yes. Both went down to Siva and Brahma told Siva that he saw Siva's head and brought this flower as his witness. Siva was angry at this lie and punished him saying: You will be never be worshipped; and he punished the flower saying: no flower will ever be used in my puja. Brahma realized his error and sought forgiveness. Both Vishnu and Brahma requested Siva to keep his form of light to bless the Universe. At their request Siva in this divine light form became Arunachala, the glowing mountain and assumed the form of the 'jyotirlinga' at the temple in Thiruvannamalai.

The temple to Siva in Thiruvannamalai is perhaps the biggest temple in Bharat, certainly amongst the biggest. It is one of the five sacred lingam sites of Siva in the South where Siva is worshipped in his elemental form of fire, as one of the pancha bhutas, the five elements of nature. In Chidambaram Siva is worshipped as ether or space, in Kalahasti as air, in Kanchipuram as earth, and in Tiruvanaikkaval as water. It is also believed that Siva appeared to Parvati here in Arunachala as a column of fire on a Karthikai Purnima day (Karthikai is the Tamil month of November-December and Purnima is the full moon day), when she prayed to unite with him.

The temple of Arunachala has been sung about in Tamil in the 7th century by the Saint Sambandar, and is believed to have existed since long before. It is built in a combination of three distinct architectural styles. The inner sanctum and first courtyard are of the Chola style of 9th century. Later day Cholas of the 11th century added an additional prahara (courtyard) and gopurams (entrance towers) with grand carvings. The third prahara and the massive fourteen storey tower are from the Vijayanagaram style of 16th century, begun by Krishna Devaraya and completed by Sevappa Nayaka. The later day extensions (there are seven praharas in all) have been carried out in total harmony with the original Chola structure that makes this temple one of the finest examples of Dravidian architecture. This temple of Arunachala has nine gopurams on its four walls, the eastern and largest gopuram being 72 meters tall with thirteen storeys.

I awake with bird song Ghosts of night still dancing You explode like the rising Sun

There is no order; nor chaos. There is no respect; nor insolence. Men do not sit on one side; or women on the other. There is no chatter; but no silence either. There are no questions; mere doubts. There is no desperation; just acceptance. There are electronic gadgets on one side; Sri Chakra and Meru on the other. No greed is evident; nor guilt. No anger visible; nor helplessness. The assembly is a motley mix of genders, ages, professions and interests; all with one purpose. They have to come to hear the Master.

The Master sits with a smile, trying to be inscrutable as the Sphinx; we know it's a mask.

Who is he? Is he the Father, Mother, Son, Brother, Friend, Lover or a Fake? We know he would love to be called a Fake; that would make the confusion more complete. Is he all forms in one? He can be the terror of Shiva; he can also be the nectar of Krishna. Is he better as a bitter night mare or a sweet fantasy?

There are times when he chides, eyes aglow with anger. One learns to stay quiet. The grimace morphs into a grin; Shiva morphs into Krishna. Tears come to my eyes even as I write; and as I read what I wrote; what to speak of being in his presence.

He is all forms; and no form. He refuses to be captured in a frame, turned into a stone, worshipped as an image- a master dying at the hands of the fantasies of his devotees. He would rather be the 'simha swapna', the nightmare, awakening us into wisdom; a Zen stick that prods us into wakefulness, than be the crutch that we are comfortable with. He relates to us on multiple frames and planes, just to keep us off balance and in confusion, than allow to be frozen into one frame that kills the master and ourselves.

The Master is beyond forms; beyond dimensions. He is not uni, bi, tri or multi dimensioned. His dimensions and forms are infinity; infinite dimensional; infiniD.

Swami says:

"Frozen into one frame, Mother or Lover, I am easy for you to capture and retain. I am then easier to market. It's good business for me, not good business for you. I want you to be confused so that you become enlightened. I want you to die so that you are awake. Come to me with your ignorance; it's my duty to show you the

path. Don't hesitate to fall into my arms with love; you will soar with me into bliss."

We are so used to falling into mud that we hesitate. Soaring into is not our nature as we understand it. Our anxieties and fears work upon us creating nightmares and fantasies.

We are watching a movie all the time. It's only when the movie stops that we see the screen beyond without which the movie can't be projected. We know not it's a dream till we are awakened. Unless we experience the 'no mind', we have no idea that we have been fantasizing. A child when she plays still knows that she is playing. An adult keeps playing not knowing that all he plays with is unreal. It's the Master's job to rudely awaken us to show us a glimpse of the reality. He enhances our problems so that our small worries are drowned in much bigger ones; with his grace the troubles fade and the Sun shines into reality.

When we dream, when we fantasize, it is about us and others; the first person attaches the second and the third; I includes you and they as well. When the dream breaks, the movie stops, the circus gets over, you and they merge with the I; then the I disappears, only the Consciousness remains.

Form and forms disappear once we realize we are watching the movie; even the screen collapses. Nightmares and fantasies cease. We awake.

This is the point of Ananda Gandha, where the form merges with the formless, and Devi's doubt answers itself: What is life, beyond form pervading forms?

The master's message to us is Anandam-Dhyanam-Nityam; the goal- the path- the process; Bliss- Meditation- Cognitive shift. Swami Vivekananda said: Awake, Arise and stop not till the goal is reached.

Swami Says:

Shiva on the swing; Energy rises chakras open Dusk turns into dawn

It has been a roller coaster ride for me the past 100 days. It is difficult to comprehend that it has been just about 100 days since I first set eyes on THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM.

This has been a roller coaster ride with a difference. I didn't need to shut my eyes, scream as loud as I could and wave my hands to overcome my uncertainty, settle my heaving stomach and enjoy the ride. I needed to be just silent and be a witness. The joy followed. Again, it was a ride all the way up without a downside.

If my ASP experience was fun, the Healing initiation that followed was sheer joy and the NSP there after a deep personal search. The real personal transformation, at least in my case, started with the Acharya training.

The English Acharya group spent first two days of the training in watching Swami conduct his last English ASP over a mid February week end at the Ananda Sabha; the Tamil Acharya group spent these two days watching ASP videos. Monday the 14th started ominously for the participant Acharyas-to-be. The first question from Swami was: How many of you have read the ASP book Six Days to Transformation or heard the cassettes at least 5 times and are ready to take an ASP class from beginning to end? The short answer was none, amongst the 63 that had gathered at the Ananda Nilayam that morning.

Part 5: Glimpses of My Master THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM

The tongue lashing that followed was fluent and vivid. We were described as the laziest souls alive and compared unfavorably with the first batch of Acharya trainees in USA who had all come thoroughly prepared and all that Swami had to do was to lounge on the swing and be entertained. We were all told to stay awake the next three nights to read up on the ASP material and start presenting to Swami on the fourth and fifth days, Thursday and Friday, be fore we dispersed from session one. Ananda Amrit, my favorite Ganesa was appointed the 'mahacharya' or Master Trainer for the Tamil group, and poor I for the English group. Over time the two 'mahacharyas' started being referred to as 'makku' Acharyas or morons by Swami. That we felt the same way did not make us feel any better.

The group of 20 odd English course Acharyas-to-be that I inherited comprised 15 women, who could have all come from community schools in Harlem. I was bullied, threatened and occasionally, very occasionally cajoled into letting them do what they wanted, most of which was to go to bed at eleven. My job was to prepare summarized briefs for them from the Six Days to Transformation book and cassettes which they could memorize and regurgitate. This was my first phase transformation from a corporate machine that could without a thought make hour long power point presentations to hundreds, into a bumbling idiot who was told by his trainees to speak from his human heart instead of his corporate head.

Tuesday dawned even worse. Instead of being ready with the Introduction as well as the Anahata and Manipuraka chakras as per the schedule given by Swami, most were still struggling with the Zen Master and the overflowing cup, mixing metaphors fluently and in blissful confusion between footwear, teacups and minds. Swami would make sudden appearances, sometimes peeping through windows, always unexpectedly and silently even as we struggled gamely. He found us clearly wanting and sent us packing to start practicing in front of the walls, the cowshed and the trees! Poor Lakshmi, the ashram cow; I am sure she stopped giving milk for a few days.

Sometime during the second evening even as I was struggling to develop summarized material for all the chakras, we were all summoned to Swami's quarters. We sat there for the next three or four hours as he flew on the swing in the verandah, alternatively telling us with great relish what he thought of all of us, which wasn't much, and keeping us entertained with tit bits of philosophical inputs. The first few days he used a stick for effect; the fourth day he switched to a trident for greater emphasis. Few of us understood what was happening.

Sometime late that night as we all sat up well past midnight, Swami came around and told our group in the Laughing Temple that there was a ten footer cobra behind the Temple. After he assured us that it had started moving away and that we were in no danger, we carried on well past two in the morning struggling with the six chapters that we were scheduled to finish that night, out of the total of eight chapters. For each chapter I would first prepare the script which was then handed over to Amrit for translation into Tamil. I would then present my script to the group amidst cat calls and demands to smile and show some heart. After this the group would split into four to make individual presentations within the sub groups to the four sub group leaders who in addition to me were Maneesha, Divoja and Vishal. The process took quite long as each presentation took about an hour, and even with the division of about 5 in each group each section took over 5 hours. Everyone was struggling and tense. No one seemed to be getting anywhere.

Early on Wednesday morning it dawned on me that it was all a huge cosmic joke that was being played on all of us. When Ma Priyananda, who had almost said yes when Swami had asked the first day for those who wished to drop out, started speaking, I sat transfixed. Her voice was so soft as to be almost inaudible; but then the communion that happened was from within her far deeper than her heart and was received at a point far deeper than the hearts of the listeners. We had the same experience with Gilda who had come from St Louis. Hearing these two was a turning point. It was no longer about how hard one struggled to memorize the script but about how well one internalized the message and spoke from the Being to the Being. If someone had said this to me a day earlier I would have laughed out loud.

I still continued to prepare the script, the group still continued to rehearse; but there was a difference; there was no longer any tension to finish on schedule; it was a process of active relaxation in understanding the substance of each section and doing as best as we could. That night Chandra came around at eleven saying that his mind was a blank; I told him to go home and sleep, and assured him that he would remember all that he had read the next morning, which he mercifully did. Swami called all those who had completed all the chakras for a walk at midnight on Wednesday; the entire English group followed. It was clear by then that it was the energy of the Master that mattered, not just the struggle of the disciple. When we returned around one in the morning from the walk, all of us went to bed without a trace of guilt.

By Thursday we were almost there and it was fun. For the first time the bullying women approved of my delivery and declared me fit for purpose. The last two days moved swiftly, too swiftly. The hours spent in front of the swing increased, the trishul (trident) replaced the stick, and advice given on how to face stones and rotten eggs when we conducted our obligatory ASP classes over the next ten days before we returned to the Ashram on the 4th of March. Swami blessed us and we left.

During the two weekends that we had before we reassembled on 4th March 2005 each one of the group of 63 had conducted at least one ASP class, the smallest class being 4 and the largest 45. Some had conducted three. I did one in Bangalore since I attended the NSP on the weekend following the first training session. My class of 20 included my parents and my wife. It was smooth sailing meriting praise from my father, who is himself a serious scholar of Hindu philosophy. Friday the 4th of March till Monday the 7th Amrit and I spent in evaluating the entire group with short 10 minute presentations. To make things more interesting Swami decided to add eight more new trainees to my group. Ten Acharyas-to-be conducted mass free ASP classes at Dhyanapeetam for a group of nearly ninety people who had come mostly from rural Tamilnadu on 5th and 6th March. At the feedback session after Swami's energy darshan that Amrit and I took, the mass ASP participants were ecstatic both on the content and delivery from their Acharyas and the unexpected presence of the Master (we had warned them that there would be no energy darshan!).

On March 8th Sivaratri night, 22 of the group of Acharya trainees were ordained as the first batch of Acharyas by Swami in Bharat. We were given ashramite status with new names that had both 'Nithya' and 'Ananda' in them, most of which Swami had used during his tapas. I became Nithya Advaith Ananda and Amrit became Nithya Amrit Ananda. After an energy darshan with the Paramacharya when he energized our tongues, he sat us down on the Nataraja platform in Ananda Sabha and happily dunked us with cold water at three in the morning. The next couple of hours we dried ourselves dancing to the kirtans, while the 500 strong audience sought Swami's energy darshan.

The next day before I departed I asked Swami what he was it that he did with us during the swing breaks on his verandah. He said: I was opening your Manipurakas where words originate and your Ajnas to give you command over the audience. He warned those of us ordained that he now resides in our tongues when we speak and anything we say would come true, and to avoid saying anything negative.

True I was happy to be ordained; however I was quite prepared if I wasn't as many of us were. The process of transformation had already set in. there was no comparison with another in the group. I was happy with each one who spoke so well. Would I ever match the intense vigor of Atma, the whirling dervish, he with the flowing beard and the gentle smile; or the mischievous gleam of Maneesha, bully-inchief; or the creative twists of Nitya Charan; or the deep belly laughs of Amrit; or the gentle voice of silence of Priya; or the sheer presence of peace of Priya Mai. Each one of them is so supremely unique that thinking about how good they are brings a lump to my throat and joy in my heart. The fact that they are so much better than I am is my bliss. This transformation through the grace of my Paramacharya is more important to my evolution than my Acharyaship.

My transformation has just started. The next bar that Maneesha and Priya Mai have set is that I smile all the time. I am sure that will happen; sooner than we all think, thanks to them; thanks to a family that I have inherited in the last 100 days, a family as close as I was born with and created through wedlock; a family with no distinction of age, gender and status that has been bestowed upon me by the grace of my Paramacharya, Swami THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM. I salute him. So do all Acharyas.

Uncommon happenings seemingly happen commonly at Dhyanapeetam.

Long crowds gather for Swami THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM's healing touch. Sivaratri night discourses, which till 2003 attracted a few dozen hardcore devotees, now pack the Ananda Sabha in hundreds with more having to be turned away.

Dhyanapeetam which can comfortably accommodate fifty people is being called upon to house and feed many who throng the Ananda Healing Initiation and other programs. We are going through a phase in the Dhyanapeetam movement that is as exhilarating as it is energizing, as challenging as it is heartwarming. When Swami is around the ashram is heaven on earth; when he is away it is still the hub of a committed movement that fires on all cylinders.

A few days into the Acharya training program, where I had the dubious distinction of being one of the Trainers, the only perquisite of which seemed to be being bullied by over eager lady trainees who seemed more eager to train me than being trained, the laptop that I was using crashed. The laptop was borrowed from Ramya and I was using it to prepare canned material culled from THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM's earlier discourses that could be used by Acharya Trainees for their ASP classes. At the time the laptop crashed I had put in at least three days of hard work of about 50 pages. After a tea break when I got back to the Laughing Temple Ramya was looking crest fallen; knowing her penchant for practical jokes I wasn't too worried when she reported that her machine had stopped working; I insisted on rebooting it a few times till I was convinced that Ramya wasn't bluffing and it was beyond my technical capabilities to get it to work again. I was more or less resigned to rebuilding the Training material from start, when I saw the gleam in Ramya's eyes.

"Let's take it to THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM to get it fixed", Ramya said. To me, it didn't for some reason seem a goofy idea, especially coming from Ramya. I said, "let's go" and walked across with her to a hut across,

where THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM was holding court happily disrupting the rigorous schedule that I had set for some of the lady trainee bullies who now had the excuse of his presence not to do any work. Ramya gave the laptop to THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM and said, "THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM, it is not working." THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM took it in his hands, turned it around a few times, slapped it a couple of times, gave it back to Ramya saying, "It'll work now."

Ramya and I walked back to the Laughing Temple across the dirt track. I told Ramya," as soon as you start the laptop make a CD o f all my stu f f." Wide eyed she responded, "How selfish you are, what about all my stuff! I have all my jokes and transcriptions in it too." "Ok, that too", I had no doubt that the laptop would restart, and it did, and Ramya backed up all important folders onto CDs in case the energizing did not last too long. It is a different matter that the laptop is chugging along merrily after several months now.

A few minutes later I was summoned to THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM's court. The audience there wanted to know my reaction to the laptop restarting; they had assumed that my intellectual and analytical background would not accept this strange computer repair. They seemed very surprised when I said that I had no doubt at all when Ramya took the laptop back from THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM's hands that it would work; my only concern was for how long; hence my eagerness to back up.

People ask me whether I could feel THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM's energy from the first time I met him. The truthful answer is in the negative. Even the energy darshan at the ASP course that THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM conducted, while emotionally very comforting, was not any kind of a spiritual experience. I started feeling the power of THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM's presence after my Ananda Gandha initiation following the Healing Initiation program. Surprisingly for me, who usually waits till almost the end for my darshan, I rushed to be amongst the first few for the initiation. After the initiation I went to a corner of the noisy hall full of dancing dervishes, sat down and closed my eyes. It must have been close to forty minutes before I opened them again. The experience was the most powerful that I had had in over thirty years of various esoteric and often exotic meditative practices. From the moment I focused on my Ananda Gandha spot and visualized THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM's smiling face my entire body was suffused with an over powering energy field. Having practiced Reiki and other energy healing techniques I was very familiar with energy flow from and to the body, but this was a very di f ferent experience. If Reiki was a shallow pond this was a roaring ocean; the best energy flow that I had ever had in the past with Reiki and other healing practices was a tingling flow from the palms, and that is what even my teachers of these techniques had experienced at best. Now, my entire body was a radiating energy field, and for quite some time I had no consciousness of anything external.

From that point my senses seemed more re fined to feel THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM's energy. In later energy darshans my body felt a very strong force that pushed and pulled me, swayed me till I was in THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM's arms being blessed by him. Praveen, a far more evolved adept who was visiting the ashram, taught me how to focus upon the energy and capture it. Even from a corner of the Ananda Sabha I could focus on THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM's energy and feel its impact. In fact it probably was happening even before without my awareness. I needed far less sleep in the ashram, just a few hours; at home nothing less than eight hours would help me feel fresh and again an hour long nap in the afternoon. Now, four hours of sleep between two and six, to be in time for Guru Puja after a shower and with no nap during the day, was com fortable. I understood what THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM meant when he said that while staying in the ashram healers do not really need to practice the obligatory Shakti Dharana meditation before going to bed. Dhyanapeetam, at least when THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM was in residence, was an energy center that one was constantly plugged into.

The same phenomenon was in evidence as we Acharya Trainees sat in front of him, as THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM flew on the swing in his verandah. Much of what he did in the guise of training the Acharya Trainees had nothing tangible to do with any known form of training. As Priya and others said, he kept throwing energy at us. The process was one of refining base metal. The transformation was an alchemic energy transfer.

During the Acharya Training, one midnight as we were still struggling at the Laughing Temple THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM suddenly sprang up from no where. He first told us that there was a big snake behind the Temple but was moving away and we had nothing to fear from it. He then invited those of us who had covered our schedule for the day to join him on a moon light walk. He soon had a gaggle of twenty behind him. Trailing him, I heard him say that he wanted to go up to the Dakshinamurthy Temple under the Banyan Tree; he then muttered something about that it will be scary, and walked to the block of rooms across the ashram gate outside. We sat there for a while and around one when he got up and started walking back towards the ashram, I asked, "THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM, aren't we going the Banyan Tree?". He turned to look at me and said," Better not now. He will be walking there and the snakes will be out. We would be disturbing the snakes if we go there now."

Just about two weeks before, a few days before the Acharya Training started, THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM had been lecturing on the Siva Sutras. Siva Sutras are teachings imparted by Siva to Parvati on Self Realization and are a collection of complex and concise epigrams. I was able to attend only two of these. The second discourse that I attended went on for over four hours with THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM explaining the unreality of life expressed as a doubt by Parvati. That evening there was a fire in the adjoining land in front of the Office area and after the fire was put out I left.

Two days later on the 28th of January 2005, Siva walked in Dhyanapeetam.

THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM says: "It was early morning, about half past five. I had come out and was standing on the threshold of my room with one hand on the door lintel. I saw some one walking past close to the verandah in front of me. Since normally no one comes into this area I was surprised and shouted out in Tamil, "who is it?" The person turned, and I recognized him as Siva. For a

moment I was confused. As an enlightened person I can not see visions as normal people do. If I saw Siva, He must be real. The only way to check this out was to see if His feet touched the ground. In a vision the feet do not touch the ground.

I rushed out, fell at His feet and grasped the left one with my right hand; with the tips of my fingers resting on His sandal and the base of my hand touching the soil. It was real. His feet were touching ground. I looked at His other foot. I could see the grass being crushed under His feet by his footwear.

I looked up. Siva was smiling at me, obviously amused at what I was doing to check out if He was real. I sprang back to look at Him. I had nothing to say. He continued to smile at me for a few seconds, then turned and walked way. Suddenly He disappeared from my sight."

Five other people glimpsed or felt Siva that morning. Anand and Dr. Chanthiran from Salem had stepped out of their rooms inside the ashram and saw a form moving past them. Anand drew a picture based on what he saw which matched THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM's description. Priyamai, Maneesha and Bandhu were on their way to the Banyan Tree when they felt someone brushing past them.

THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM's description of Siva was vivid. In a video that I saw where he talked to ashramites on his experience on the same day he said:

"Siva was very much like what we see in His pictures, except that He did not have a cobra around his neck. He was golden in color, dazzling, with long hair. He had a short garment wrapped around His waist and hip that came above His knees and had a tiger skin wrapped over it. He was wearing wooden sandals. He had many rudraksha necklaces on His neck. He had a hunter's horn tucked in His waistband, carried a small drum on one hand and a trident on the other. His trident was a lot smarter than mine; I noted the design and will get one made similar to that!"

A day after this incident THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM went into Samadhi for a whole day. He says that this was the first time that he recovered consciousness without external help from out of a Samadhi. When he came out of Samadhi that evening he asked the ashramites and others who had come to hear him on Siva Sutra, just to sit in front of him at the Ananda Nilayam and meditate. Most of them went into deep meditation that lasted for over two hours.

The place where THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM saw Siva in front of his room is now marked with a few stones so that people do not walk over this spot. Other than that there is nothing to indicate that Siva walks at Dhyanapeetam. THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM says that the Banyan tree is the abode of Siva in the form of Banashankara, the consort of Banshankari, who is the guardian mother of the city of Bangalore.

Banashankara, Dakshinamurthy, Siva or THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM, God does walk in Dhyanapeetam, and with a little effort one can feel His energy. As I write this in March 2005 when Dhyanapeetam hosts only a few hundred at a time, I can see soon, very soon, the numbers growing.

Who can keep man away from where God walks!

Appendix