Are You Your Friend Or Enemy?

6.5 You are your own friend; you are your own enemy.

Evolve yourself through the Self and do not degrade yourself.

6.6 For him who has conquered the Self, the Self is the best of friends.

For one who has failed to do so, his Self will remain the greatest enemy.

6.7 For one who has conquered the Self, who has attained tranquility, the Supreme is

already reached. Such a person remains in this state in happiness or distress, heat or cold, honor or dishonor.

6.8 A person whose mind is contented, because of spiritual knowledge, who has subdued his senses and to whom stone and gold are same and who is satisfied with what he is having, He is said to be established in Self-realization and is called an enlightened being.

6.9 A person is considered truly advanced when he regards honest well-wishers, affectionate benefactors, the neutral, the mediators, the envious, both friends and enemies, the pious and the sinners with an equality of mind.

'You are your own friend; you are your own enemy. Evolve yourself through the Self and do not degrade yourself.'

In my discourses, if I have quoted any Gita verse more than twice, it is this one. I can say this is the gist of the whole Gita*.* This single verse provides the essence of the whole Gita.

In the last session in the previous chapter, we saw how to move from doing and having to being. Usually we are stuck in having. We are constantly focused on our possessions. We are always conscious of our status. It is always 'I' and 'mine'. Loss of possessions affects our ego and identity deeply.

A slightly more intelligent person moves from having to doing, from passivity to activity. Then, from doing we are supposed to move to being, from activity to active-

passivity. This shift to 'satva', active passivity, helps us evolve spiritually as we move deeper into awareness. In the last chapter we learned the technique from Krishna for moving from fear and greed into Divine Consciousness and bliss.

In this verse, Krishna says:

'One must deliver himself with the help of his own being and not degrade himself. The Being is the friend of the conditioned soul and his enemy as well.'

You are your own friend and you are your own enemy. If you know the technique of how to lift yourself by yourself, we will become a friend of your Self. If you let yourself down, you will become an enemy of yourself.

In our last session (Chapter 5) I asked all of you to practice the technique of centering yourselves in the third eye center, the ajna chakra, for ten days. How many of you were able to practice this? When you practice, naturally again and again you will fall. If you have not fallen, then please be very clear, you have not practiced it right. When you practice anything, naturally, you will fall. Suddenly, you will forget and then realize, 'Oh, I started working out of fear,' or 'I started working out of greed.' When you start working, naturally, there will be few problems.

A small story:

There was a big spiritual organization. A monk was sent to a remote tribal area to perform service. Suddenly the headquarters received a lot of complaint letters about that monk.

After reading the complaint letters, the president said, 'We have posted the right person. Don't worry.'

The secretary was puzzled and asked him why he thought this despite all of the complaints received.

The president replied, 'If we are getting complaints, it means that he has already started working. At least something is happening.'

When we start anything new, we will always have three phases: first is resistance. Second is avoidance. We just avoid, neither caring nor resisting. The third is acceptance. This is the way anything starts. Similarly, when we start doing anything inside our system, we start growing in the same way.

First, resistance: we will repeatedly fall. We will forget. Our system resists. We try to create complications and complaints and all possible arguments. Sometimes, if we can't follow the teachings of Krishna, we start blaming Krishna. I have seen many people when they are unable to follow the teachings of Krishna they will go ahead and start blaming Krishna saying, 'What Krishna are you talking about? He was always flirting. He was always running behind women. What type of a man was He?' We can easily escape Krishna by criticizing Krishna.

When we can't practice these teachings, we have to justify ourselves. Inside our being our conscience will naturally hurt us. So we have to make our conscience

believe we are doing the right thing. We have to find some argument. Since we are unable to follow, we start criticizing Krishna. This is the best way to escape and avoid the teachings of Krishna.

When our being resists, if we allow the resistance to grow, we are our worst enemy. This is what Krishna means by saying, 'May you lift yourself by yourself.' If we don't, we will be our worst enemy. It is up to us to help ourselves as the best friend or to hurt ourselves as our worst enemy.

Please be very clear: nobody can hurt you unless you allow him or her to. Nobody can help you unless you allow him or her to. May you lift yourself by yourself. May you lift yourself to your Self. Again and again, these Masters stress the same point. If you have fallen, if you have failed practicing these words, the teachings or the meditation techniques, if you have forgotten, don't worry. Again and again, lift yourself. Don't feel depressed and don't have guilt. Don't get dejected thinking you will not be able to do it. Again and again, lift yourself.

The last teaching of Buddha was: *atma deepo bhava, '*May your Self be the guiding light.' When Buddha was about to leave his body all of his disciples asked him, 'Master, please give us your ultimate message in one word.' Buddha said, 'Let you be the light, guide unto yourself. Let you be guided by yourself. Let your being guide you.' Here Krishna says the same thing. May you lift yourself by yourself. Nobody can do anything unless you lift yourself.

Part 2: Bhagavad Gita, Commentary by THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM - Chapter 6

Just the other day, I came across an advertisement on the internet called 'Super Deluxe Kundalini Yoga'. It says one doesn't need to do anything. They sell a bypass circuit by which your kundalini will be raised to the sahasrara automatically. All you need to do is to allow them to do the by-pass connection. Then your kundalini will stay in the sahasrara forever.

I was just shocked! How can someone else awaken your kundalini? Of course, enlightened Masters can awaken our latent energy but only we with our own effort can stay in that same state. They can give us a glimpse, satori, but staying in that consciousness and achieving samadhi can be done only by us. Only we can help ourselves.

Someone went to Buddha and asked, 'Master, you know enlightenment is the ultimate thing. Why don't you give that to all of us? Why don't you make us all enlightened?'

Buddha said, 'Oh, you want enlightenment? You think I should give enlightenment to everybody? Please go around and survey how many people really want enlightenment?'

By that evening the man returned after conducting an extensive survey in that city and said, 'Master, only two people want enlightenment.'

Buddha said, 'Please bring them here, and let me give it to them.' The man said, 'No, they are not ready to come all the way here from their houses. If you can send it to them, they are ready to receive it.'

Nobody really wants it! And, even if we do, we want it as one more item in our showcase. We are not ready to risk anything for enlightenment. We want it as one more item to showcase. Whenever people come to our houses, we can say, 'This is from Delhi, this is from New York, this statue is from Japan.'

Just like that, we can say, 'Oh, this enlightenment, you know that Master, THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM? He gave me enlightenment. He was giving a Gita discourse that I attended and he just gave it to us. How does it look?'

Just as one more showpiece, we are ready to accept it but we are not ready to commit or risk anything for it. We are not ready to take the responsibility.

Buddha said, 'Existence is so great that It gives you the freedom even to be in bondage. It is your choice whether to be in bondage or to be liberated. Even liberation should not be forced. If it is forced, even liberation is not liberation. So you have one hundred percent choice to be liberated or to be in bondage. It is completely up to you. God is so great that He gives you the freedom even to be in bondage or to be liberated.'

Here, Krishna says, 'May you liberate yourself by yourself. Unless you liberate yourself, nobody else can liberate you. If you help yourself, you will be the greatest friend for yourself. If you don't, you will be your worst enemy.' This is an important verse. This has to be understood well. Let us see the next two verses to get the complete context and then we will enter into the meaning of the verses.

A small story:

Abdullah was a great enlightened Sufi Master. He was always in ecstasy, always in joy. One of his disciples asked him, 'Master, how are you so blissful? I have never seen you suffering. You are always joyful. How is this possible?'

Abdullah replied, 'Early morning when I get up from bed I ask myself, Abdullah, Abdullah, Abdullah, what do you want today? Do you want to be blissful or do you want suffering today? Naturally what will the mind choose? It will choose to be blissful. Then, immediately, I tell the mind: alright, be blissful. That's all!'

We may think, 'How can it be so simple, Master?' Be very clear, we know our twenty-four hour routine. We know what is going to happen in the next 24-hours. Just try this tomorrow morning. Accidents or lottery winnings are very rare. In a normal routine, we know exactly what is going to happen. Just decide whether you choose to face that routine with bliss or with suffering. Decide whether to face the routine with joy or with the usual long face. Decide for yourself. You have the choice. And whether you go with the long face or with a smiling face, the routine is going to be the same.

I always tell people, 'Pain is inevitable; suffering is a choice.'

We have one thing that we can choose - and that is our attitude. We can choose our inner space. We have

complete freedom to do that. That is purely our own decision with no one to blame. Pain is independent of suffering. Pain is an external thing, suffering is an internal choice.

Abdullah says, 'When my mind says in the morning I will choose to be happy, I tell the mind, just be blissful, that's all.' It is purely our choice. Hell or heaven is our conscious choice. People always have another question, 'What do I do if my mind says, I want to suffer?' Then suffer, that's all. What is there in it? When our mind wants to enjoy suffering, then even suffering becomes an enjoyment for us. That is why we want to enjoy suffering. In a way, suffering becomes enjoyment for us.

So when you get up early in the morning, ask your mind, 'What do you want today?' If your mind chooses bliss, just tell your mind, 'Be blissful. That's all!' This single conscious decision can change the quality of your life. But don't make a commitment to do this for three days or one week. You will forget. Decide every day for just that 24 hours. People will immediately think, 'Let me decide for my whole life today itself.' No! You will forget. You will be back at the same point where you started; you will have the same face again tomorrow when you come back. No, don't decide for your whole life. Decide only for one day. Only then will you be able to maintain it. Otherwise you will have the same old natural face.

A small story about this natural face:

The head of a monastery, a father, was teaching

the young novices to preach. He was giving them tips on how to speak in public. He was taking classes about how to preach to the public.

He said, 'When we speak, our whole body should express what we are saying. Our face should express the idea that we are talking about. When we speak about heaven our eyes should sparkle and our whole body should show the bliss, we should express the joys of heaven clearly. Our face should shine.'

The father continued, 'When we speak about hell, we can just remain as we are. People will understand!'

At least in our life, let us not maintain the long face as our natural face.

Vivekananda said, 'If you are depressed, don't come out of your room. There is enough of suffering in the world. Don't go around spreading a little more suffering.'

When we conquer the mind, happiness and distress are both one and the same and we are not touched by it. Throughout this chapter, Krishna speaks about the senses, how our senses function and what we are supposed to do. Let me give you a small diagram on how our mind functions and how our senses work. Then we will be able to understand the Gita in a much better way.

Now we will see how our mind works, how we perceive information, how we process it and how we make decisions.

First, as an example, let us say we are seeing something through our eyes. Here I am giving the example of the sense of sight through the eyes, but we can replace it with any of the other senses like taste, smell, etc. Let us take the example that you are seeing me at this moment. First your eyes will catch the picture or the scene. This will be taken to the chakshu. Actually, it is the sensory energy inside the eyes called indriya that does

the job of seeing. Please understand, the eyes themselves do not see. Energy sees through the eyes. Sometimes, your eyes will be wide open and if you are listening to some music intensely, even if someone walks in front of you, you will not know. This is proof that you don't see with your physical eyes! You see through the sensory energy – indriya.

Let us say we are intensely reading something. At this time, we may not hear any of the ambient sound. This shows we are not hearing through the ears, something else is hearing through the ears or seeing through the eyes. That something else is called indriya, which is the energy behind the sensory organ. The whole file what you saw with your eyes goes to the chakshu.

The picture or the scene that we are seeing will go to the chakshu. In chakshu an important process happens. It is the conversion of the whole file into a digital file. It is almost like a Digital Signal Processor (DSP) in a computer. If we have to process any information inside a computer, it has to become digital. Whether it is a picture or whether it is sound, it has to be converted into a digital file.

Similarly, inside the mind, for any process to happen, the whole thing has to be converted into a bio-signal file or a digital file. The file processing happens in chakshu. Whatever scene we are seeing now, that picture will be converted into a digital file in chakshu.

That file will now go to chitta or memory. In memory the process of elimination starts happening. You will start analyzing and eliminating things and say, 'Na iti, na iti: not this, not this.' First, your mind will say, 'This is not a tree,' 'This is not an animal,' 'This is not a rock.' This process of elimination will happen in the chitta.

Once the 'This is not' process happens, the file goes to the manas, the mind. Here the mind starts identifying saying, 'This is it,' 'This is it'. This identification process happens in the mind. Our mind says, 'I am seeing a man

standing with a kavi (saffron) cloth. He is teaching the Gita.' This kind of identification of 'This is it' will happen in the mind.

Then the file goes to buddhi, intelligence. The process of analysis begins in the intelligence saying, 'What is the relevance between me and this scene? What is the connection between this scene and me? In what way am I related to him or this scene?' Our buddhi will start analyzing based on all of our earlier experiences. We may think, 'The last four or five times that I attended these talks it was really useful.' Or, we might think, 'This is not worth it.' Our buddhi makes some decision. Our buddhi will respond in some way whether it is right or wrong, whether we like it or not. Our buddhi will respond and will write 'yes' or 'no' on the file based on our past experiences.

The whole file will then go to the ego and the ego will give the command. If buddhi says, 'Yes, I enjoyed yesterday,' the ego will say, 'Sit here and continue to listen intensely.' If the buddhi says, 'No, no, I wasted my time yesterday. It was boring. This is not for me.' Then immediately the ego gives the command, 'Come on and let's move. There is so much work to do at home.' The moment the ego gives the command, automatically, our whole being starts executing it. This is the way we receive information, process it and respond. The information comes through the senses, the processing is done and the response is given. This is the way our senses work.

Now, Krishna has an important point here. He says, 'For one who has achieved the supreme bliss, for him happiness and distress, heat and cold, honor and dishonor are all the same.' Throughout this chapter Krishna emphasizes this one idea, 'Senses'. How can happiness and distress, how can heat and cold, how can honor and dishonor be the same for a man? How is it possible?

The first thing is that when these senses do this work, we decide 'yes' or 'no' only based on our past experiences, the experiences with which we have grown or the words with which we have conditioned our chitta and manas. Our buddhi decides based on the conditioning of our mind and memory. Please be very clear: Something that is so tasty for us may be like poison to our neighbour. Why our neighbour? Take our spouses for instance. We might like something, but the other might hate it.

There are three ways to do anything. First, hire someone to do it. Second, do it by yourself. Third, just tell your spouse NOT to do it. When you don't want something to be done, just tell them to DO it and when we want something to be done, just tell them NOT to do it!

Anyway, whenever our mind is caught in dualities, again and again we fall back to our dilemma, to our nature, to our suffering, to our instinct level. Here Krishna says the person who has achieved bliss is not affected by heat or cold. How do we reach that state? Throughout this chapter He speaks about conquering the senses.

First, we need to understand that when I say conquering the senses, I don't mean controlling the senses

or destroying the senses. If we try to control or destroy the senses, we will only struggle more and more and suffer more and more.

Ramana Maharishi said beautifully, 'Instead of killing the person, you try to destroy the chair.' Destroying the chair will not kill the person. Here, our senses are just chairs. Our ego is the person who is sitting there. So if we try to control our senses, it is not going to work. If we try to control our body, that is not going to work.

Krishna says beautifully, 'For one who has conquered the self.' When he says self, he means the whole setup where the decision-making happens. Mind-Buddhi-Ego is the spot where the decision-making is happening. When we just try to conquer the senses, we will fail again and again. If we fail two or three times we will lose the confidence to try again. If we fail in a fight with our senses, we will automatically start thinking that it is impossible, and we will lose confidence. We need intelligence to progress in this path.

A small story:

A man wanted to go on a vacation to Juhu beach in Mumbai. He started to travel and kept going. After one week he came back.

His friend asked, 'Did you go to Juhu beach?'

He said, 'No, I was not able to find it.'

His friend asked, 'Did you not see any sign on the highway?'

The man replied, 'Yes, there was a board but it said Juhu Beach left,' and I thought the beach had left so I came back.'

We need intelligence to traverse this path. If we try to work from the wrong side, from the side of the senses, we will never be able to succeed. If we try to create more pressure on the cooker we will not be able open the cooker lid. First, we need to put out the fire. First, we need to remove the energy supply. The ego or the buddhi, the place from where we make decisions, is continuously supplying energy to our senses. So all we need to do is to work at the level of mind and not at the level of the senses. If we try to work on the level of senses, we will create only more and more perverted desires.

For example, a man who tries to control his eating will dream about having a feast. If we fast for one day, it is enough. That day night, in our dreams we will be feasting! Our body has got its own balance. Our body has its own intelligence. If we avoid something, it has to supply and rejuvenate itself. If we are hungry, we can't sleep. In order to continue to be in the state of sleep we should be made to believe that we are not hungry. So, the unconscious energy creates a dream as if we are feasting. Whenever we deprive ourselves, our unconscious energy will satisfy itself in the dream state. This is because in the dream state, there are no police or anyone else to control us. We just project our world and enjoy it. We can do whatever we want.

An important thing to note is that if we suppress something, be very clear, it will automatically express itself in our dreams. Dreams are nothing but expressions of our suppressed desires and fears. Our fear or desire when suppressed gets expressed in our dreams. Not only that, it expresses itself in a perverted way. If we enjoy with the senses, we will never become tired. But when we suppress our senses, our being suffers in our dreams. We can see very clearly, if we have a nightmare, even when we wake up, for hours we continue to be in that same mood and our whole being feels shaken.

Now they are coming up with a new concept called 'fear stroke'. These are imaginary fears, such as seeing a rope in the dark and imagining it to be a snake, or imagining ghosts lurking in dark corners. Not only that, they are instant peaks of fear due to simple things such as the sudden ringing of the telephone etc. We also get these fear strokes in dreams. If we are suffering at the dream level, please be very clear that there is something seriously wrong with the mind-buddhi level. We are trying to control the senses instead of controlling the mind. Instead of removing the fire, we are trying to create more pressure in the cooker. All we need to do is to work on the mind to remove the fire, to stop the supply of fuel, to stop the supply of energy.

Here Krishna says, 'For one who has conquered the mind,' meaning that this applies to the one whose mind has learned the right processing. If our buddhi and chitta are filled with past memories, we cannot make correct decisions. Please be very clear, don't think the mind makes decisions in a logical manner. Sometimes, it makes decisions in a very funny way, as I was explaining earlier about how we make the decision to sit here or not.

Sometimes our buddhi does not even think that much. In the example where you were seeing me with your eyes, if you have had any problems with any other swamis or any other person who was wearing this same color cloth in the past, suddenly that memory will be awakened. Then, the buddhi is not even ready to sit and listen. Our buddhi is not even ready to take a chance. It is not even ready to think. Immediately, our ego gives the order to leave. This is what we call prejudice.

Sometimes we hear an argument and pass judgment. Many times, our judgment is ready, and we collect arguments to support our judgment. We should look into our life. Whenever our judgment is ready, we collect arguments to support our judgment and we are caught in this network. This creates suffering. A man whose senses are clear, meaning one who is not driven by his sense organs, who is not suffering because of the senses, has the ability to make decisions with clarity. If our mind, especially the area of chitta, is clear, if that is intelligent enough, then automatically our senses work properly and we make the right decisions.

We can never achieve bliss by controlling the senses. We can only achieve bliss by controlling the mind. By changing the servants, we can't change the leader. But by changing the leader we can change the servants. The mind is the leader or the master that is making decisions

and leading the senses. So all we need to do is work on the mind, not on the senses.

Krishna says, 'One who has conquered the mind achieves the Paramatman (Divine Self).' We don't need to achieve bliss. It is always there with us. If it has to be achieved, there is every possibility it can be lost. If it can be lost, what is the guarantee it will be there forever? Anything, if it has to be specially achieved, is not worth achieving. But if it is our very nature, then it becomes easy. If it has to be achieved, there is every possibility that after ten days it may be lost. Suddenly it may disappear. Krishna says that all we need to do is conquer our mind. We don't need to achieve anything.

I always tell people that Ananda Spurana is continuously happening. The flowering of bliss is continuously happening. Spurana means flowering. Our very life energy is bliss. Unless we have the bliss energy in us, we cannot inhale and exhale. The inhaling and exhaling itself happens because of the bliss energy or the eternal consciousness in us. But we are stopping the bliss fountain again and again. All we need to do is stop the stopping process. That's all. We don't even need to create anything or achieve anything. We need to just stop the stopping process. Krishna says that we just have to conquer the mind because the Self has been already achieved. The Self has been already achieved and we are with it. There is nothing to strive for.

Here is a small story to explain how happiness and sorrow are in no way related to the outer world but to the inner world.

An old man went to a nearby city for some work. When he was coming back to his village, from a distance he suddenly noticed that his house was on fire. He started shouting, screaming and rolling on the ground and weeping.

His son came to him and said, 'Dad, don't worry. Don't you remember, we sold that house just yesterday?'

Immediately, the old man sat up and wiped his tears. The sorrow just disappeared.

In ten minutes, his other son came to him and said, 'Dad, yes, we have sold it, but we are yet to get the money.'

Again the man started rolling on the ground and weeping, 'Oh, I don't know what I will do now. I don't know who will care for me. I don't know how to save myself.'

Some ten minutes later, his wife came on the scene and said, 'Don't worry, just this morning I saw that the money was deposited in our bank account.' Again he got up and wiped his tears and was perfectly back to normal!

If you notice, it is the same situation and the same person. But when he thinks the house is his, he is suffering and when he thinks it is not his, he is liberated. So what gives us suffering? It is just this single thing: thinking that something is mine. The habit of thinking 'mine', 'mine'.

In the same way, there are people who can't enjoy something unless it is theirs. One day I was going for a walk on the beach. One of our devotees started saying, 'Master, I think we should have a cottage here. It would be very nice. We can come out and enjoy the breeze.'

I asked him, 'Are we not enjoying ourselves now? Why do you need a cottage here to enjoy? Just enjoy yourself now!' But the mind never enjoys unless we are sure it is ours. Unless we possess something, we don't enjoy it.

Please be very clear that the man who possesses and tries to enjoy will never be able to enjoy. By the time we own the cottage we start worrying, 'I think I should have this kind of furniture. I should have that type of arrangement.' Or we have already started thinking about another cottage in some other place.

Ramana Maharishi was a great devotee of Arunachala. Someone who went to Ramana Maharishi, visiting him for the first time said, 'Master, what a beautiful place this is! How nice it is to be here! The Arunachala hill is so beautiful!' Ramana Maharishi said, 'Just be here for three days, all these ideas will disappear!' In three days, we take things for granted. Something will be beautiful only for three days. Not more than that. The person who enjoys only by possessing will never enjoy. The person who enjoys will not bother about possessing. It is just our mind. Sometimes, the mind will not allow us to enjoy something unless we know for sure that it is ours. And at other times when we know it is ours it creates suffering. Suffering or joy is created only by that one link, the mind. If that link is disconnected, the whole process will happen beautifully.

The only difference between an enlightened person and us is that one missing link! It's not like an enlightened person will have two big distinguishing horns. There is no other difference between an enlightened person and us other than this one link, mind, which continuously decides, 'What is in it for me? In what way am I connected?' That 'I', 'I', 'I', 'I' - that link is missing. If we can cut this link, if we can cross that 'I', we will become Christ. Don't start from the senses; start instead from the ego, the mind.