Krishna, Yadava, My Friend

11.41 Whatever I have rashly said from carelessness or love, addressing You as Krishna, Yadava, my Friend

Regarding You merely as a friend, unaware of this greatness of Yours.

11.42 In whatever way I may have insulted You in fun, while at play, resting, sitting or at meals,

When alone with You or in company, O Achuta, O Immeasurable One, I implore You to forgive me.

11.43 You are the Father of this world, moving and unmoving. You are to be adored by this world. You

are the greatest Guru; there is none who exists equal to You.

O Being of unequalled power, how then can there be another, superior to You in the three worlds?

11.44 Therefore, bowing down, I prostrate my body before You and crave Your forgiveness, adorable Lord.

Even as a father forgives his son, a friend his friend, a lover his beloved, You should, O Deva, forgive me.

Arjuna is afraid again. Having seen what he has seen and understanding the unlimitedness of Krishna's form, he remembers that all this while he had treated Krishna like a friend, so casually. Remorse fills his being.

Arjuna's worry is not fear of any reprisal, now that he knows who Krishna is. It is guilt that bothers him.

'I called You by Your caste name, Yadava,' Arjuna cries out, 'I called You, 'Hey, friend, Hey, Krishna'. I knew not Whom I was addressing, Whom I was dealing with. Please forgive me.'

'How could I have done this? Please forgive me for the love I had for You that made me careless in addressing You. Bear with me; forgive me as a father would a son, a lover his beloved and a friend, his mate.

A small story:

With great sincerity and seriousness a devotee of Shiva offered prayers to Shiva's idol at his home altar every day for many years. He had no thought

other than Shiva, and all he desired was to have Shiva's vision, His darshan one day.

Since nothing happened year after year and he was getting old, the devotee gave Shiva an ultimatum. 'Either you appear before me or I will seek an alternative. Before I die I need to have the Lord's darshan so that I may be liberated.'

Shiva still made no appearance.

After a few days the devotee bought and installed an idol of Vishnu at his altar, replacing Shiva. But he did not have the heart to throw Shiva away, and merely moved Him to one corner, telling Him, 'See, I waited all this while patiently; all this is Your fault.'

The next morning, he lit incense as usual and placed it before the altar, this time in front of the idol of Vishnu. To his irritation he found that the incense smoke was drifting towards the corner where he had cast out Shiva. 'You need no incense!' he cried out, and pinched the nose of the idol to prevent it from smelling the incense.

The next moment he felt Shiva standing in front of him, smiling. The devotee was overcome with deep guilt and overwhelming emotion. 'Lord!' he cried, 'All these years I prayed to You without fail and You never appeared to me. Today, when I cast You out and pinched Your nose You gave me darshan. Why?'

Shiva said: 'It is only today that I became real to you. That is why I came to you now.'

As his friend, Krishna was the reality to Arjuna. He took liberties with his friend because He was so real to him. But his updated intelligence of Krishna's Cosmic Form shook him up so badly that he was now consumed by guilt. It was because of the intense devotion that Arjuna had for Krishna, that Krishna gave him the invaluable gift of His divine form. Had Krishna not considered him worthy, Arjuna would not have seen his Cosmic Form.

All our life, guilt rules us from our past. Whatever we do at a point in time, we do with the intelligence available to us at that point in time. At a later point in time, we look back and remember with the additional knowledge that we have gained since then. Often, what we did before seems wrong to us and we feel guilty.

There is no greater sin than carrying such guilt. What we did was not sinful; to carry the guilt with us is sinful. When we drop the guilt and move on with awareness, a deep imprint is made within us which is far more powerful than carrying the guilt. The guilt dropped brings a far greater awareness of what not to do again.

Arjuna is demonstrating to the rest of us the power of guilt; in this case guilt that seems to arise from the deepest of love. In one sense he does not wish to carry that guilt with him. He drops it in front of his friend, Lord and Master saying, 'Forgive me.'

Fear concerns the future. We can never be afraid of the past; it is dead and gone. Guilt and remorse plague us from the past. Every single thing that we did could have been done differently. We need not have done it or we could have done it differently. One by one these negativities pour out of Arjuna and he is getting cleansed in the presence of the Master.

Question: You said that one of the five bhavas, moods, in which one approaches a Master or ishta devata is sakha bhava or friendship. Why then is Arjuna afraid of having expressed that friendship?

Arjuna is in fact one of the greatest examples of sakha bhava, friendship relationship between Master and disciple. It is the immediate effect of realizing the true nature of Krishna, especially in virata roopa, that terrifies him, that makes Arjuna afraid.

Sakha bhava is not a relationship of equals. A disciple cannot be equal to a Master. Even when a disciple becomes enlightened and in that sense at the same level as the Master, the mood of the disciple would be one of sheer gratitude. It is after enlightenment that a disciple realizes the true nature of the Master and the real Master-disciple relationship flowers. The disciple imbibes the nature of his Master, he communes with the Master and this is how the lineage of great Masters is sustained.

Friendship is not a permanent relationship. It is not a biological relationship as between a mother and child. It is not a contractual relationship as between husband and wife. It need not be the being-level relationship as between lovers. It can be a societal relationship born out of convenience and comfort. As with all societal relationships it can change.

Friends become enemies. We cannot truly have an enemy who has not formerly been a friend. There is a greater chance of two very good friends becoming hateful enemies rather than two unrelated people. Unfulfilled expectations between friends create far bigger problems and far deeper enmity than between those who have not developed bonds of friendship. If a stranger cheats us, we may accept it or take action as is appropriate. There is no great emotion involved except perhaps anger at being taken for a ride.

When someone we consider a friend does something we consider disloyal, all hell breaks loose. We may even want to destroy that person. In addition to anger there are a host of other emotions that crowd us: pain, grief, depression, regret, guilt and so on. We can go through a state of mourning, passing from anger to depression to final acceptance or we can move to a mode of deep vengeance. Disloyalty from a friend can corrode us as no enmity can.

It is also possible that those we consider enemies may turn out to be friends. This may not happen as often as friends turn into enemies, but with proper conditioning of the mind this can happen. As I mentioned earlier, when I enquire of potential healers ready to be initiated to think of enemies wanting to be healed by them, most answer that they cannot think of anyone as an enemy. The THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM Spurana Program or LBP 2 that they attend before the Healers' Initiation does a good job of

destroying their samskaras, their negative conditioning, by removing all negativities including enmity. Check with any THE SUPREME PONTIFF OF HINDUISM BHAGAWAN SRI NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVAM Healer and they will confirm this.

In true sakha bhava, everyone is a friend, not just the Master. One turns non-judgmental and respects everyone around as an expression of divinity. In one sense this is the problem that Arjuna has in waging war with his clansmen, who are his enemies. As an extension of his sakha bhava relationship with Krishna, he finds it difficult to hate them enough to fight and kill them. He gives many reasons but these reasons are excuses.

Arjuna is no coward. He is the greatest warrior. Killing is second nature to him. But destroying a friend is not. His innate devotion to Krishna extends to the Kauravas and he finds it difficult to keep this friendship feeling aside on the battlefield.

In these verses, Arjuna also expresses the fear that his mode of friendship may have been tinged with dislike or enmity or anger at some point in time. Though he seeks forgiveness for having called Krishna his friend or a Yadava, etc., these are not really good reasons for a good friend to apologize, even if the friend turns out to be God.

However, if Arjuna has some hidden fear that at some point the friendship may have turned into feelings of enmity, even if unconsciously, he has reason to worry and seek forgiveness.

There are many real life incidents when people have helped others without knowing who they are. It is said that once the owner of a major hotel group, who liked to travel incognito, visited one of his smaller hotels. The bell boy, not knowing who he was, but concerned about this old person walking in on a wintry night without adequate warm clothing, went out of his way to help him and make him feel comfortable. The ending is obvious. The bellboy was promoted and eventually became the Head of the hotel group.

But imagine the state of the bellboy once he learns that the old man he met was the big boss, but he has not been rewarded yet for his Good Samaritan act. He would have been filled with worries about what mistakes he might have committed. The help he provided would have been at the back of his mind. The danger of his losing his job in case he had goofed up would have been paramount.

Such was Arjuna's state. He doesn't know yet where he stands. Krishna has revealed Himself as the Supreme God to him. Arjuna knows at the back of his mind that he had not always had noble thoughts about Krishna. This is how we all treat God as well. As long as God provides us with what we want, we worship him. The moment our requests don't get fulfilled, the Divine becomes a stone idol. It is the same with a Master. If you get healed, if you prosper, the Master is good. If not, what good is the Master? Prayers turn to insults and curses.

Arjuna is in transition. He represents the person who is about to move from the intellectual seeker level to the devotee and disciple stage. In fact, he has already moved

after the vision. There is no longer any doubt in him about Krishna's identity. Until Krishna showed him His divine form, it was theory to Arjuna. Now after the vision, it is completely real. He has moved from sakha bhava, friendship, to maha bhava, an enlightened relationship. It is this transition that brings out the residual guilt in him.

Your Familiar Form

11.45 After seeing this Form which I have never seen before I am filled with gladness but at the same time I am disturbed by fear.

Please bestow Your grace upon me and show me Your form as the Supreme Personality, O Lord of Lords, O Refuge of the Universe.

11.46 O thousand armed Universal Form! I wish to see Your Form with crown, four- armed with mace, disc in Your hand.

I yearn to see You in that Form.

Arjuna now makes his final plea in these verses.

'Show me Your Form that I am familiar with,' he says, 'the One that I am comfortable with. I am grateful and overwhelmed by the visions that You have shown me, but what I am comfortable with is Your four-handed Form holding the discus and mace, as the Protector of the Universe. I am not comfortable, I am indeed fearful of the terrifying Form of You as the Destroyer, however real it may be.'

All of us are in the same situation as Arjuna. We all have fixed ideas of what divinity is, what motherhood is, what love is and what friendship is. Divinity is benign, comforting, protecting, nurturing, forgiving and all that is sweet and nice. So are motherhood, love and friendship.

Existence does not work that way. Existence does not differentiate between good and bad, between beautiful and ugly. It is we who make judgments and create emotions within us to promote those judgments.

In the Vishnu Sahasranama, which is recited by Bhishma as he lies awaiting his liberation, he describes Vishnu as 'shantakaram bhujaga shayanam padmanabham suresham'. 'Peaceful, emanating bliss…' is how Vishnu, whose incarnation Krishna is, is described. Just the very words bring to us so much peace and calmness, yes?

If instead, Bhishma had used words to describe the fearsome attributes of Vishnu such as:

'frightful destroyer, with burning mouths…' and so on, how many would recite the Sahasranama? It is a different matter that most people who go through the motions of reading and reciting the thousand names of Vishnu do not understand a word of what they are saying! So they are safe, whatever Bhishma may have said.

But if you do understand what the words mean, and if you are not in equilibrium, you will be disturbed. These words, understood to be negative by your logical mind, will create severe emotional turbulence within you.

A yogi is one who has passed beyond these turbulences. He understands that the Divine is without attributes, neither peaceful and comforting, nor fearful and terrifying. These manifestations are also illusions. Beyond and behind these apparent manifestations, Divinity just is. It is beyond the three gunas, it is beyond mind-body and spirit.

Arjuna at this point in time is yet to reach this stage. He still seeks the safety and comfort of the four-handed Divine Protector that he is used to, rather than the terrifying mahakala.

When we realize that both are masks of the Divine, that neither is His true Self and that both are His true Self, then and only then are we rid of illusions, and are liberated.