Capturing The Essence Of Swamiji

Rahila Santhanam

How do I reminisce about a force that has transformed my life with such completeness?

If I jot down incidences chronologically then I would be penning mere history. I do not think a book, let alone a few pages of remembered metamorphosis will do justice to this extraordinary Energy, this profound Intelligence, this manifest Ecstasy called Paramahamsa Sri Nithyananda Swamigal.

I have known Swamiji – no, not known – how can the mind ever know the fathomless!

I have been with and around Swamiji for the past 14 months. The concept of Time becomes meaningless in his presence. Hours get telescoped into fleeting moments. Days and nights become seamless. Hunger, thirst, sleep, the very basis of human existence become mere words entombed in dusty dictionaries.

To be with Swamiji is to be totally alive, alert, aware!

It's experiencing the exhilaration of a dew-kissed bud blooming by the touch of the morning sun. It's learning through laughter; eschewing seriousness for sincerity. It's knowing how to fall in rhythm with the dancing moon beams. It's absorbing the grandeur of the Spirit. How do I capture Swamiji's essence? He is a continuous experience-ing. The Verb, not the Noun. He is pure energy – the formless in form, the bodiless in body. To be in his space is to enjoy utter security. His extraordinary innocence, his implicit honesty, his absolute ease of manner with both male and female are qualities to be cherished. The truth is, there is no physicality in him. He is a rare gem in an exalted firmament. I can state this categorically because I have had the privilege of being with him in all kinds of situations, at all times of day and night. Not once in all these months have I seen him violate anyone's personal space by word or deed. He offers protection in the ultimate sense of that word. He gives his space unconditionally to those who seek. The freedom to 'be' oneself without defenses and fears is a response that is evoked by the purity of his love for each and every one. Personal growth happens, blossoming takes place with total trust. I, as a women feel blessed to be in the presence of such a rare and beautiful Being.

His energy expresses itself in myriad ways. At times he is the greatest companion, the beloved Krishna of the twinkling feet, endearing, adorable, naughty, exasperating. At other times he is Shiva, exacting, relentless, filled with limitless knowledge, with a depth of ascetic quietness, dancer of the rhythm divine. He is the strength of the Father and the soft compassion of the Mother – a beautiful blend of the male and female energies. Ardhanareshwarar incarnate. Every nuance of his movement is sheer poetry in motion. He is flow. He is exquisite grace. He is the laughing child of the innocent gaze. He is undiluted charm. He is awesome intelligence wedded to boundless compassion.

His innate social awareness and etiquette belies the fact that he after all a mere boy from Tiruvannamalai. Watching him conduct himself with people from all walks of life is a lesson in interpersonal management. His understanding of situations and individuals, the swiftness with which he resolves any kind of crisis, his readiness to give his time and energy to seekers in the spiritual path, his outstanding sense of humour, his exuberance and the joy which he exudes wherever he moves are the silken threads that binds each and everyone of us to him.

I cannot imagine a time without him. Everything that has happened before his arrival has been nothing but a preparation to receive him. I do not know where I am going or what is in store for me. Everything is nebulous, unclear, uncertain. But the glorious truth is that there is no inner discomfort, there is no fear of what is to be. My trust in him is so complete that I know that he will help me actualize my latent potential, he will help me see the blue print with which I came. The hitherto forgotten language, the faint inner echo, that unattended call will be addressed now. The more I let go, the more harmonious is the flow in my life. To learn to live in the 'Now', to free my Self from the clutches of auto-deception, to realize the I, not the mind is the master of my destiny have been the greatest truths he has made me experience.

Learning with Swamiji is experiential. Not for him the static age old methods of knowledge transmission. Time and again he has made me empty ' my cup' so that the space could be created to take in only that which is essential. All my voracious reading of books on New Age philosophy, the spiritual discourses that I have attended, all the lessons I have taken in self

Part 2: A Garland of Memories - Devotees' Reminiscences of Time Spent With Swamiji_English_part_2.md

actualization, all the hours I have spent on discussions have not led me to the truth the way the moments spent with Swamiji have.

No amount of thanks can ever convey the gratitude I feel for the time, energy and space he has given me so unconditionally. Again and again he has shown me that what I want is not necessarily what I need. Sometimes these lessons have come with compassion and loving understanding, at other times with the swiftness and sharpness of an arrow in perfect trajectory. Yes, there has been pain, but it has always come only when the ground had been prepared by him, when the cushioning has been done, when I have been ready to learn and move on. To quote him, "Always remember that your lessons will come only when I know that you are ready. I will create the space for you to fall – and that space is the abyss of my heart. You will fall in, never out. That is my promise to all seekers."

Can one quantify energy? Can one fit it into set pigeon holes? Can it ever be labeled? Or possessed? The Master is pure boundless energy. An expression of Divinity. He can be experienced but never held. He is death to the mind. He pushes you beyond all limits He infuses you with the courage to face the Truth.

I wish to express my profound love, respect and gratitude to Swamiji for the spiritual fire that he has ignited within me. For starting the inner process of transformation. For allowing the alchemy to continue till the dross is dropped and pure gold is allowed to shine through in his compassionate presence. For showing me the way back Home.

Rahi… a spiritual wanderer.